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dating scene
Let's face it…first dates are tough and the majority will end before they even really start. Here is a list the five most important things both men and women should keep in mind. A first date is simply two people getting together to find out more about each other…its an interview where you determine if the other person will be a good fit for you. Many of these things may seem like common sense but you will be surprised with the things some people are capable of.
Top Five Things for Men
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Listen to your date. Listening to your date is not the same thing as waiting for her to pause so that you can begin speaking).
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Be chivalrous…yes that means you'll have to open the car door for them.
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Don't get drunk. If you're not sure you can, just stay away from alcohol all together.
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Always be on time.
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Play it safe and stay away from the religious and/or political topics…this can lead to disaster.
Top Five Things for Women
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Say thank you if he does something nice and/or unusual.
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If you're not interested and rather be friends, just say it. The guy may not want to hear it but trust me, it's better (and easier) now than later on.
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Don't get drunk (see #3 for men).
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Laugh at his jokes even if they are awfull.
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Make lots of eye contact and smile.
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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(On July 13th, 2006 at 2:57 pm)
GREAT tips!
However if religious or political beliefs are important to you, maybe dating within a specific affiliation is a good foundation. (They say a good place to meet someone is at church, why not a political rally, where you are both on the same "side").
And ladies, watchout for TOO MUCH laughter (See PlanJam's blog entitles "The Kiss Goodnight" ie you might not want your date to mistake your giggling as a signal to kiss you.
PS If you have both been drinking and you want to put a damper on that first kiss because you're just not quite sure you want to go there, you can always offer the joke, "What's the difference between a Dog and a Fox?" (Answer: 5 margaritas (or whatever you/he are drinking). HA!
(On May 6th, 2007 at 11:22 am)
great advice! thanks
(On May 22nd, 2007 at 5:54 pm)
This is a bunch of sexist crap. Men should be traditional, and women should be pleasing. Maybe this is good advice for the 1950s, but I think we're a bit beyond such rigid and ridiculous gender roles.
(On May 22nd, 2007 at 9:01 pm)
Hey Edith,
I’m sorry that you find the advice sexist…I really tried to stay as neutral as possible. As far as the advice for men goes, I assume you felt that the chivalry was an issue, since the other tips were pretty much common sense. I’m sure that there are women out there who don’t want a guy to open the car door or fill up their glass of wine when it runs out, but I haven’t met too many of them.
Chivalry is a sign of courtesy and it’s shouldn’t make the other party feel inferior or obligated to return the favor. If you find chivalry “sexist”, then you should make that clear to your date when you go out. Most women enjoy being treated with respect and I don’t see that changing with time.
You may be beyond these traditional roles and I respect that. In my experience, women have always appreciated that I offer to pay and that I stand up when they excuse themselves from the table. And if I ever met a woman who got offended when I opened her car door, there wouldn’t be a second date. In the end, it comes down to how I think women should be treated…that’s all I can write about.
(On June 14th, 2007 at 12:55 am)
Question for a first daters…..who considers sex on a first date (even the very long and perfect date with a love at first sight) a wrong thing to do and will lead to disaster and disapointment?
(On June 23rd, 2007 at 10:20 am)
Personally, I would wait before having sex. Especially if it's someone you think you may be serious about in the future.
It's just so much better when you can look forward to it.
(On June 24th, 2007 at 7:31 am)
How about a case of not having much time because you to just happened to be so into each other, on other level; not just chemistry. What i mean by not having much time because its a long distance relationship to come. Meaning you two dont live in the same State and next time you may see each other is in a very long time. Just a thought…..I've proven it to become more then just sex relationship. Too many time i experienced to be disapinted for takin my time with sex and too many times i seen my homegirls or guy friends get burned on that too, just because chemistry wasnt there at all.
(On June 26th, 2007 at 11:42 am)
I would say the tips are common sense, for me I have the dating thing down, but for people who are just getting back into the game I think these are simple strong things to remember, but overall each one of us must adopt our own unique dating style that works. I say have fun be yourself and be safe.
(On April 14th, 2008 at 2:29 pm)
Sex on the first date? Not if you eventually want a lasting relationship with the guy. Studies show that men take longer to bond in a relationship than women, and women tend to bond to men after having sex. It's pure biology. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone. Levels of Oxytocin increase in women after sex and after giving birth. Men don't generally experience a rise in Oxytocin levels until 3 months or so into a relationship.