planning mode
dating scene
We’ve all been there, the moment when the conversation on a first date lulls and the only sound in your car is suddenly the unmistakable crooning of a cheesy boy band (wait, how did that get into your CD player?). You quickly punch eject and offer up some clever excuse about how your roommate or little sister gave you the boy band CD as a gag gift (a first date is not the time to confess that you know all of the words to Hangin’ Tough). But now you have this musical void and you need to fill it and fast.
If you are at the beginning of a date, either on your way to the movies or restaurant, you want something uplifting and familiar. Avoid songs with overly meaningful lyrics or climactic orchestral builds. This is the time to have some extra bonding time before the future awkward pauses spring up while you are waiting for your menus.
However, singing out loud may not be something that you feel comfortable doing on those first “get to know each other” dates. Perhaps you want to save your Janis Joplin for when you know it won’t send him running to the hills. If that is the case an old movie soundtrack is the way to go. Most men now come out of the womb with an instinctual love for the Top Gun soundtrack. Let Kenny Logins do all of the work for you as your date tries to hide his air guitar impulses when Highway to the Danger Zone plays.
In between dinner and the movie is the time to turn the radio off and connect with your date. The next two hours together will be shared in silence and this is one of the last chances you have in upping the chemistry. Joke about the wacky bartender at the restaurant or how amazing your chocolate mousse was, something to convey that yes, you are having a good time.
After the movie there is the standard, “what did you think” conversation, but what happens after that? You can use music again to set the tone for how you want the rest of the evening to go. If things are feeling a little murky you can give your date clues that indicate that things are not going to continue. The Eagles Heartache Tonight, Tainted Love by Soft Cell or the more to the point You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi are tunes to subtly get your point across.
If things have been going well, let your date know by cranking up the song that matches just how well they are doing. The Beatles’ P.S. I Love You is sweet and hopeful, but Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing certainly sends a more to the point message.
