Comments on: Is He Cheating On Me?

By: mathew

mathew — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:13:26 +0000

everyone….
we all go through similar thing's and the thing thats thrown aroung so much is trust.
I don't trust anybody, myself included.
if your bf/gf is deleting texts phone on silent or they are acting funny wtf is that about. i've been in a relationship were these things did not matter,lots of love and the trust was 100%, ive been in the opposite don't care thanks for the shag f off and zero trust plus the in beetween. only one of two are going to be super magical and you have to analize the following to assess what you want
1. can i do better ,weather physicaly mentally materialy
2. can they do better ,same
3. what are my risks in this relationship eg..heartbreak, finacial, recovery rate
4.what am i willing to loose, mind spirit
5. what do i have to gain, children a family carer love peace happyness ect..
6.i this person someone i will enjoy making love or fucking or experimenting with for a long time to come.
I think the wealthyest peoiple on the planet are the happy..
now the juice
gf deletes text's and says something about storage issues thats why ok. thats cool
sometimes guys call up at three am wtf i take the phone and rip there asses to shreds sorted
we go hang with freinds, guys, some very attractive, then when we get home omg the things that she does to me???i'm like is that cause we saw those people and you got turned on or do i look good today.
does not act like this when we are home or if they aren't there if we make love its less if we haven't seen them.
now shes going with two of my hot guy mates to a beach shack for the weekend for a state finals for poker? i'm pretty sure i should be worried. should i be.
this girl is an 85%trust 10%no trust 5%unknown.
i will be marrying her one day hopfully and i love her more than anyone i could ever love.
is there a way to get past these situations without feeling sick?
regards
matty

By: luna

luna — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 23:50:18 +0000

I have been in a 3 year realtionship and recently wehave been talking about getting married but he has never proposed. I just had an episode on saturday , we were spending time together and his phone kept ringing several times and he would look and close the cellphone and not pick up call. Then later that night phone rang again he was in the rest room so I went and look at cell to see who kept calling and so late not his mom not a friend I might know, but a woman that I new had sent him e-mails and was trying to find out who she was and to my surprise she sends him a text message in spanish like sweetie let go of that colombian this cuba woman needs you. When I saw that in spanich that sounded like he was having something with her and she knows I'm with him. My heart ached and I was like F *** AH. I did not know what to do so I waited till he got out of restroom then I confronted him, hey by the way your phone rang and it was " the womans name" she said sweetie let go of that colombian this cuba woman needs you. He looked very surprised and said no babe she is a friend from the bank, shei sjust like that alwasy palying around. Till today 3 days have passed and he told me that he talked to her and told her to spoke that and that she said she was sorry, he states that he is not cheating on me and that he has nothing with her also mentioned that he would take me to bank to meet her .I don't trust him any more and her.

By: Sitaliea

Sitaliea — Sat, 09 May 2009 05:49:21 +0000

My boyfriend seems to not really care rather we hang out or not it's been a month since we last hung out but last few time i went to see him he wanted to try newer Persian in sex one he claim to have no interest in when we first started dating. i will ssee him Sunday I had been texting him telling him i miss him i think he tying to get me off his back, he texted me asking is I wanted to come over Sunday i told him i had to work that day he replied oh oh well. i responded to that saying yeah. And he replied with a question and I quote “can you ask some one fo fill in for you? I replied i told him no. and that I would but no one will do it who are not down. being I know the people that I work with all to well. And added I would its not knowing hen I can see you agen that bothers me and missing you and if we a have a day [picked out then I can last till that day. so he said next Sunday . point is i feel like he's only doing it for his sake now a days like we never really talk on the phone maybe a few times here lately but he was so grump and in a hurry to get off to either sleep or eat I’m mean he works till 12 in he morning but use to that didn’t make that big of a difference and the only time now that he tells me that he loves me after iv told him that i love him and he will be sweet but my gut telling me he's not being sincere a bout it any more. when we are together we are good u know but when I’m back home and so he. this is a long distance thing. the love seems to of gone almost out like a flame on a candle what should i do what do you think?

By: Sitaliea

Sitaliea — Sat, 09 May 2009 05:48:52 +0000

ignore that post a bove yall sorry the onew below this one is clearer

By: Sitaliea

Sitaliea — Sat, 09 May 2009 05:32:29 +0000

My boyfriend seems to not really care rather we hang out or not it's been a month sece we last hung out but last few time i wentto see him he wanted to try nwer persiton in sex one he calim to have no interes in when we first started dating. i will ssee him sunday but i told him been texting him telling him i miss him i think he tying to get me off his back once i told him i had to work that day he rplyed oh ohwell i responed to that saying yeah and then he sent me a nother text after i snet him mine waying can you find some one to feel in for you i oold him no so he saod next snday . point is i feel like he's only doing it for his sake now a days like we never realy talk on the phone maybe a few times here lately but he was so grump and in a hurry to get off to eithr sleep or eat immean he woks till 12 in he morning but use to that didnt
make a difference and he only talls he he loves me after iv told him i love him and he will be sweet but my gut telling me he's not being sunser a bout it any more. when we are togethe we are good u know but whn im bak home and so he. this is a lpng distance thing. the love seems to of gone almost out like a flame on a candle what should i do what do you think?

By: liz

liz — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 04:31:06 +0000

I have noticed a significant change in my boyfriend. For the past three months he has been so angry and agressive, he points out my faults and is easily annoyed by everything I do and say. I have tried to leave him but he gets so angry,and violent. He threatens me, says he will hurt me and take our child and I will never see my baby again. I am so unhappy. I am afraid of him of what he can do. I don't care that he is cheating. I just wish he could set me and my baby free so we could find happiness. What can I do?

By: jamie

jamie — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:58:08 +0000

I have been having some suspisions that my boyfriend may be cheating on me. I just had a breast reduction surgery a week ago today.
My boyfriend is an adult probation officer, so his job takes a mighty toll on him. Normally he has to be to work by 8 am, but lately, he has been going in anywhere between 6:15 and 8. The day after my surgery, he decided that after work, he was going to go play pool with some of the guys from his office, which I was completely fine with. He told me that he would be home in an hour or so. So I thought that I would make him a nice romantic candlelit dinner so that it would be ready when he came home. He came home 2 and a half, 3 hours later. I was upset, but did not want to let him know that I was so that it wouldn't start an arguement.
Him and I never fight. So I didn't want to start. Anyway, I asked him how his game went, and he told me that he wound up playing pool with one of the gal's instead of the guys that works with him. And according to him, she asked how I was doing after my surgery and everything. So I told him to tell everyone in his office that I am doing fine. Well our normal nightly and morning routine is to make love before and after we go to sleep. So I tryed with him this morning, and he rolls over and says "babe i'm really tired". So we talked about it when we got up this morning before he went to work, and he is was like, I want to make sure that you don't have anymore pain or swelling in your breasts. I went to the doctor 2 days ago, and he gave me the go ahead to get back to having sex. He has also been wearing cologne more and more to work.
He always tells me that if he cheats on me, that he would be the first to admit to it, and that he would walk. I haven't smelled another female on him. When he comes home, he always wraps his arms around me, and gives me a kiss. Then tells me that he has missed me.
Am I crazy for thinking that he could be cheating on me? Or is his job getting to be more than he/I can handle?

By: Sheilah

Sheilah — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 01:27:22 +0000

Dear Cindy,

It’s hard to say she was being disrespectful by calling if he is allowing the calls to continue. When it comes to partners having friends of the opposite sex outside of the relationship it’s a hard call. Some feel that it should be OK, as long as the relationships are platonic. I guess it depends on the couple. My main question is… Do you trust him? Did you feel threaten by this girl and if you did, what was the reason? After all, he was moving in with you and not her.

It feels like you both wanted to move in together, but never really solved the problem and basically just swept it under the rug. But at this point it doesn’t matter.

What is important is that if you want to make this relationship work I would suggest these few things.

One, someone has to stop the anger going back and forth because it’s not working. You can let it go, or you can wait on him. It’s your choice.

Two, someone needs to stop worrying about who is right and wrong in this. Either you want this to work, or you want to be the one that is right. Your choice.

Three, it’s all about compromise in a relation in order for it to work. Both must agree.

Four, jealousy does not work. Some may think that it shows a person how much we care about them, but in reality it only makes us feel that we are trying to be controlled and that is never flattering.

They could really just be friends, but if he feels you are jealous (not saying that you are, just making a point) he could be lying to keep you from getting angry and just wants to keep the peace.

You can not force someone or give them ultimatums and think it’s going to work out… it won’t. It only makes that person just as angry or even angrier. If you feel that you have done all these things, but still feel that he is not being honest or forthcoming, then this might not be the relationship for you.

And lastly, this is not about the girl. She is not important and you need to stop making it about her. If she is a trouble maker, then the thought of you being jealous or even a little miff will give her the upper hand.

Understand that arguments do come up in a relationship. However if you feel that someone is not being forthcoming and is not being honest then maybe moving together would be amistake. It’s better to find out in the beginning then to wait until there is more to loose.

By: cindy

cindy — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 04:55:57 +0000

from my post above i forgot some details that yes i did talk to him calmely about it when we got more serious that is bugged me and she was disrespecting me by calling still. he says that he told her to stop and she dosent understand why they cant be friends. so when we moved in together she called and i got a lil mad and said now it really needs to stop, or else we dont need to go through with this living together… soo then ocasionally from november to now, she has called im not sure how much but i see it when i see it and he says he dosent know why. then after i kicked him out and all the fight, he said that he only answered or called her back to tell her she is causing a problem and needs to stop. so i told him that if there are just random calls on the phone bill that are like 5-10 mins thats fine if there is like a lot of long ones its not but i will be glad he is honest with me.. but he is mad still from me getting really mad as i stated in aboove letter. sooo what do i do i expressed it made me uncomfortable and he lied although he said he never ever hung out with her and she is nothing then why whould he move out so quick and not show me and now i feel like he has something to hold against me?????? cause of what i said

By: Sheilah

Sheilah — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 02:43:28 +0000

Well Cindy,

We often make the mistake of holding in our feelings about something that bothers us about our partners, but as soon as we become engaged, move in together or marry, we make the mistake of thinking we have the right to demand certain things.

By your email, it seems that you didn’t ask your boyfriend to stop calling until after the move. If you didn’t ask him to stop speaking to her before you moved in, what made you believe that he would stop?

It would have helped if you had spoken to him calmly about your feelings. Unfortunately, when we let jealously and mistrust take hold, we end up looking angrier, which often backfires causing the other person to either respond in kind, or maybe in walk away.

If someone has to prove their love and trust by showing you a phone bill, then maybe this might not be the relationship for you.

I hope that you will think about this in a more rational way, give him some space and if this relationship means anything to you at all, then you will need to mend some fences. Being together for a year and a half is worth trying to salvage. I don’t agree with him just walking away, however by your tone (writing the ex an email, verbally abusing him, etc) he might have had no choice.

I hope it works out. If not for this relationship, hopefully for the next one.