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When a couple first falls in love, romance seems to come naturally. They stay on the phone with each other until all hours of the night, can’t bear to be apart from each other, and count the seconds until they can see each other again. It is natural that this couple will secure their newly found love with a commitment. Whether it is marriage, or a union that symbolizes their dedication to each other, every couple is convinced that their relationship will be the one that is driven by fiery passion and will never run cold.
However time has a way of bringing lovebirds down from the clouds and setting them firmly in the seat of reality. Children, work, bills, and the pressures of every day life are constant reminders that a commitment in your relationship requires determination and hard work.
It is to be expected that as time progresses, your love will change. Not all change is bad however, but it is change and sadly, many couples fail to embrace these changes hand in hand and instead of moving ahead with their new lives, they drift further and further apart.
One of the first areas where couples tend to lose their closeness is in the area of romance. Without romance, many couples fail to remain at the level of intimacy that they experienced when they first fell in love. Here are some tips that every couple can use to help keep the romance in their relationship and reduce the chance of losing intimacy.
Keep romance in your relationship by dating each other
Dating is how you and your partner first began to explore each other. However, most couples stop dating once they feel that their relationship has become secure. By enjoying a date night each week, you can ensure that you will not only remain intimate but also continue to enjoy each other’s company. It is also a good idea to dress your best and treat each other as you did when you first began dating as well. The pressures of life will always surround you, let your date night be a time where you and your partner can escape from the world and relax with each other.
Spend time learning something new
This is a great way to enjoy each other’s company and add some romance back into your relationship. Whether you learn how to play golf, cook exotic foods, or take ballroom dance lessons finding something that both of you can learn together will be greatly rewarding. Just make sure that both of you agree upon the activity.
Write love letters to each other
Instead of surprising each other with love letters on the spur of the moment (though that is a wonderfully romantic idea), why not decide ahead of time to exchange love letters. Pour out your true emotions, dreams, and feelings into your letters and exchange them. This is great anytime of the year, but is also a wonderful gift you can give each other on Valentine’s Day and anniversaries.
Keep the romance in your relationship through kissing
After the children go to bed, you and your partner can engage in a wonderfully stimulating activity- kissing. Try kissing each other for 2 minutes, you are sure to feel romantically inspired at the end of your session.
Take a vacation together – without the kids
Just getting away from everything can be the most romantic time spent in your relationship. Whether you travel out of the country, visit an exotic location, or just stay at a hotel in your hometown, a vacation is a great way to keep the romance alive. If you don’t have much time, finances, or can’t find a weeklong babysitter, consider a weekend getaway. Your relationship will be renewed and strengthened and it is amazing how simply finding the time to reconnect with your partner can revitalize and deepen your connection with each other.
(On January 21st, 2010 at 10:42 am)
I ran into this article b/c I feel like my boyfriend and I aren't as spontanious and affectionate as we once were. We don't kiss that much anymore (the only time we tounge kiss is when we're having sex) and I feel as though when we do kiss he can't wait to pull away. When I get close to him to hug him he always pulls away first after a few moments, and I mean a few. We used to hold each other and talk and kiss all of the time. Now I feel like he feels bothered by the fact that I want to be affectionate. Its making me feel that a-he tired of us b-his attention is being drawn else where (another woman) so he doesn't feel the spark anymore.
We have had alot going on around the house and with our jobs so maybe he's preoccupied but how can you not think about SEX all of the TIME!
In the beggingin he couldn't keep his hands off of me. He was romantic and made me feel so wanted and desired. Again, we barely kiss anymore (sorry pop kissing doesn't neccesarily get me going).
I like to get intamite, even if it's just foreplay. Lately I feel like im initiating EVERYTHING. The other night I went to get comfy before sitting on the couch together to watch a sitcome and put a cute tanktop on with just my undies, grabbed a blanket and sat on the couch with him. He didn't even look my way, he didn't scoot closer or anything (HELLOOOOO im in my PANTIES)! I tried rubbin on his arm and neck and nothing. We proceeded to watch tv until I felt so uncomfortable (rejected) that I went put my pajama pants on and we went to sleep. What happend??….
I mentioned to him that I've been "missing" him and he said for me to speak up and tell him. Look sometimes I do, I have no shame on requesting sex but It's not a chore and I want some type of romance sometimes. I told him I will be a little more straight forward (he said he can't read between the lines)… but I don't want my sex life to be like that….
I like romance and I like feeling intamite. Just plain old having sex when it is requested takes all of the pasion and desire out of it (don't get me wrong, sometimes I like to get aggresive) but I feel like he doesnt want to be intamite with me anymore.
Any thoughts, suggestions? What am I doing wrong?