PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

In times past, it was common for men to pay for everything when it came to dating. However, times have changed and women have fought for equal rights, including the right to pay for their fair share of the date.

When it comes to dating, you can never assume that the man will always pay. It is a good idea to know ahead of time who is going to pay for the date, and if you are a woman, to be prepared to pay for your fair share, so there are no awkward moments towards the end of the evening. Here are some guidelines to consider to help ensure that your date isn’t stressed due to financial tension.

1. If in doubt, ask!

If you aren’t sure who is going to pay for the date, simply ask. It is commonly considered that the person who initiates the date will pay, and today it is very common for women to ask men out. Yet, many men feel uncomfortable with a woman paying for the date so it is best to discuss this ahead of time and clear the air, as well as any tension that may occur due to the financial aspect. The worst scenario is a couple arguing over a bill towards the end of the date and this can be avoided by discussing your concerns ahead of time.

2. Always offer to pay for your share of the date.

Many find it common courtesy to offer to pay for your share of the date. This is respectful and courteous and can make things easier for both of you. Some women may find it too old fashioned to have the man pay for everything. She may also feel that she “owes” the man if he pays, and she may genuinely feel uncomfortable if he pays for everything. Yet, some men may feel insulted if a woman pays for the date so you can see that this leaves room for misinterpretation. Again, communication is your best defense and discussing how you feel about paying for dates before hand is a good idea. Yet, if the topic doesn’t come up and you feel uncomfortable not contributing, then offer to pay your fair share.

3. Offer to pay for the entire date.

Many women will come to the first date prepared to pay for their portion of expense and are genuinely flattered when a man offers to pay for everything. However, she should never make the assumption that the man will pay simply because she is accustomed to this. Always be prepared to pay for your share and if he offers to pay, graciously accept his generosity. If the man offers to pay and you refuse his proposal, he may receive that as a personal rejection and think that you are not interested in him.

Communication before the date is your best course of action. Initiate the topic and clear away any confusion before you begin your date. Once the finances are out of the way, you can then relax and enjoy your date without any hesitancy.