PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

Have you ever met someone who turned out to be completely different…almost psychotic? In the beginning you think their little antics are cute, but as times goes on, it becomes unbearable.

It was a sunny afternoon in July when I received an email from British Airways with an amazing deal on airfare. It was a roundtrip ticket to Paris for only $239 (came out to about $400 with taxes). That day I was having lunch with my girlfriend (whom I had been dating for about 2 months now) at PF Changs and I told her about the email I received. She was ecstatic about the news and begged me to take her to Paris for New Years. I obliged and went home to purchase the tickets. At the time we were both still in College so we agreed to split the cost of the trip…which is perfectly normal. I came home and booked the entire trip on my credit card and explained to her that American Express requires payment in full and that she had about a month to pay me back. She agreed.

A month goes by and I approach her regarding the money. I calmly explain to her that I got my bill and that I would have to make a payment by the end of the week (it was a Monday). She acknowledges and says she will write me a check in a few days. The entire week goes by and I have yet to receive anything from her. I call her on Friday afternoon and ask her again about the money. This time she goes bonkers on me. She is screaming at the top of her lungs “Why the f*ck are you harassing me, leave me the f*ck alone. I will pay you whenever I feel like it”. I chose to leave out some other choice words, but I think you get the picture. What the heck just happened? Needless to say, I did get a check from her eventually, but it was about a month after the bill was due.

Planning the actual trip was no picnic either. I remember suggesting that we should each put in a few hundred dollars and use that money for basic expenses…as opposed to constantly trying to figure out who owes what each time. How does she respond? “No that’s not fair…you eat more than me.” This was a bit shocking, especially coming from a girl who never paid for a single thing the entire time she was dating me. But that’s a whole other topic on its own.

I wouldn’t wish the next 5 months on my worst enemy. We were constantly arguing about every little thing and broke up about 2 dozen times. Now that I think back, the only reason we actually remained in the relationship was because of our trip to Paris. If I could do it over again, I would simply have taken the loss on the tickets and went my separate way.

The Moral

Everyone changes when they get into a relationship, some for the better and others for the worst. Therefore, you should really get to know the person before you make any long term commitments, be it a trip to another country, moving in together, or even marriage. I understand that booking a trip and marriage are on completely different levels, but the underlying principle is the same…don’t commit to anything in a relationship until you get to know your partner. This takes time and usually doesn’t happen over night, but it’s completely worth the effort and will benefit you in the long run.