PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

Dating is complicated by nature, but it becomes especially difficult when the terms of the relationship aren't made clear from the beginning. That’s why it’s so crucial to understand what you're getting yourself into before you begin the dating process. You should ask yourself, "Am I looking for a fling? Am I looking for a casual date? Or am I looking for a serious relationship?" Yes, it’s true, sometimes you might not know what you even want, but if that’s the case, you need to communicate that to your partner. Without proper understanding and a lack of communication, things will quickly turn sour – this is a fact.

Not only do you have to let your love interest know what you are looking for in the relationship, but you must also set clear ground rules surrounding it. For example, do you and your partner plan to date other people, or agree to make the relationship exclusive? If exclusivity is the case, you guys must establish the girlfriend / boyfriend title.

I mention this very important rule because many couples do just the opposite; they agree to see only each other, but don’t want any titles attached. This only creates tension and confusion. The whole purpose and meaning of “exclusiveness” is then defeated. If there is no boyfriend / girlfriend title, what is a couple to consider themselves? Friends? Friends with benefits? Furthermore, even though you two agreed to be exclusive, is it really cheating if one of you were to go on a date with someone else? After all, it was only a date, nothing physical occurred. On top of it all, there is no title, so it wouldn’t really be considered cheating, right?

As a result, dating is no longer that much fun; it becomes the factor of emotional and mental distress. So then why are some people so hesitant when it comes to applying a title to their relationship? It’s not because they don’t like their respective partners, but because they are scared of commitment. People are sometimes so unnecessarily commitment-phobic. You shouldn’t let yourself get that way though. Instead, take chances in life. Dive into the relationship with an open mind and heart. Besides, what’s the worst that can happen? In most cases, you and your companion will probably realize that you just weren’t meant for each other. It beats wondering, for the rest of your life, whether he/she was the one that got away.

In short, it’s important to understand that dating comes with rules and mutual understanding. Make sure that you and your partner clearly discuss what you both want out of the relationship. If it’s something casual, then leave it as that. On the contrary, if it’s something more significant, then commitment and titles must be established. Whatever you and your romantic companion decide on, just do not participate in the “all is fair play” game. Trust me when I say that your lives will be far less complicating and stressful.

Courtesy: Elizabeth Nobukuni