PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

Ladies, we have all encountered this problem at least once in our lives – you’re really digging this guy and want to ask him out on a date. The only problem is that you have a hunch he might be gay. So you end up asking yourself, “Is this crush a lost cause?” Hmmm…I thought, we, women were suppose to be able to spot a gay man from miles away. What’s happened? Unless he’s sporting a rainbow bumper sticker on his car, there are no sure ways to tell whether somebody is gay. However, some keen observation can go a long way. Just don’t question him up front about his sexual orientation. Asking such a personal and sensitive question can end up insulting him.

By technical standards, sexuality defines our sexual orientation and nothing more. However, by social standards, gay has become synonomous to men wearing tight pink shirts, fitted jeans, sandals, and carrying a shoulder strapped man bag. Though there is probably some truth to this stereotype, it doesn’t always apply to every gay man out there in the world. Remember when Sex and the City’s Charlotte posed the “is he gay or is he straight?” question and Carrie replied, “Well it's not that simple anymore, the real question is, is he a straight gay man, or is he a gay straight man?"? Well, Carrie’s right – it’s not that simple anymore.

Like I said before, there is no concrete way to know which team your love interest is on. However, there are still certain behaviors that typical gay men tend to practice. Believe me, I know. Not only did I work with hundreds of gay clients in West Hollywood (which is a gay-oriented city), but I also have a best friend who is gay.

Second, do a little research. Scope out his hang-out spots and you will get an idea of his type of “crowd.” If he’s out clubbing it at the Abbey or Micky’s in West Hollywood, sorry to burst your bubble, but your crush is gay. You can even do a Myspace search on him and see whether he lists his sexual orientation. Also, find out if he hangs out at the gym a lot because a fit body is a very important feature in the gay community. Furthermore, uncover his style of music.

In addition, observe who he make eye contact with. Do you find that he makes more eye contact with other men? That just might be a red flag – gay men love their eye candy.

Well, if all else fails, and you still have no clue whether your crush is gay, there is one option left. Invite him out somewhere (as friends, obviously) and offer to drive. If he’s jamming it to your latest Madonna CD and knows all the lyrics, you have your answer.

Courtesy: Elizabeth Nobukuni