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Everyone's definition of cheating is different. Therefore, it’s important that you address this topic as your relationship develops. Discussing your thoughts on cheating in advance – whether you’ve been cheated on or have cheated in the past, how it makes you feel, etc., will help you grow in a relationship. Cheating can encompass flirting, a kiss or just sex – hence, you should get the facts straight from the beginning!
Often times, the biggest misconception is the use of pornography by someone in a relationship. Many individuals, both men and women, view pornography – not because they are dissatisfied in their current situation, but because they enjoy it as entertainment or to get new ideas for the bedroom. Whatever the reason, it needs to be discussed with your partner – as some may consider viewing this explicit material as cheating.
Many people feel they aren't fulfilling something within their partner's sexual appetite that has them looking at this material. If this isn't the case, make it clear! Don't risk hurting your partner’s feelings because you're embarrassed bringing up the topic. If you are as close as you seem to be in the relationship, talking about this shouldn't be difficult. Do it now! Call them up and make sure this issue is addressed; otherwise, there’s a risk that it may affect the success of your relationship. Understanding is important in any relationship!
Pornography can be viewed together for a powerful experience as well. If your significant other is the one watching the pornography, take time to understand their stance and perhaps embark on the experience to see if you gain anything from it as well. Keeping an open mind also helps you grow both as an individual and as a couple in the future
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(On June 14th, 2007 at 12:52 am)
Sure why not watch porn together? It will put a sparkle in your growing relationship. I dont see watching pornography as cheating, because for a simple fact that porn is there just as an alternative and entertainment. If you look at it from a perspective of sex on tv then in that case does whatching movie like 9 1/2 weeks would be considered cheating too? Thats just pathetic. Not until one of the partners engage in contact with one of the pornography stars you have to worry about anything. I assure that most of us watch or ever watched porn and still stayed faithful. Living example is me. I am very faithful to my bf and i still watch and its a last thing on my mind to go get engaged in something with anyone else.
(On June 19th, 2007 at 1:43 pm)
When me and my boyfriend started dating he watched porn. This made me feel like i couldn't fullfill him sexually. But we discussed the situation and it wasn't that. So that made it a lot better by talking about it. So i decided to watch it to see why he liked it and it actually wasn't a bad thing. Now we can watch it together and it does give us new ideas to spice up are routine.
(On June 19th, 2007 at 10:23 pm)
i am glad you found something positive in porn watching, especially along with your man. The key is to make him feel comfortable when he watch it with you. Last thing any woman want is her man hiding the fact that he watches porn and then eventually get into it so much that it becomes a little more then just watching porn. Not that you want to join him to control him and keep an eye on things, but you know what i am trying to say here.—- On other hand a lot of women are not comfy enough to watch porn with their men because they feel like maybe whatever is done in a porn flick you havent done yet, or probably will never do and it makes you feel like you not good enough in bed. Or your chest dont look as big, or you are not as openminded as a female in tv, or your stomach is not as flat, etc. Some may build a lot of complex trying to watch porn, especially with someone who rate you as his gf, wife, etc. But its all a matter of how satisfied he with you and how much he wants things to work out with you so he is willing to spice things up instead of CRITISIZE.
(On October 18th, 2007 at 6:18 am)
Bro, it all depends on your moral values. Why not say, shit baby i go to the brothel so i can build my skills in bed n please u better. n trust their is a million n 1 things u can do for entertainment besides that. u dont need a bible or a koran to understand that pornography is a form of betrayal whether u are ok with it or not, if u let urself u will understand what is right n wrong in any situation possible, thinking things are ok like that is a choice, a choice to brainwash urself into thinking what suits u. hope no1s offended n hope that got thru to sum1 out there, piece out….
(On January 20th, 2008 at 11:25 am)
Looking at porn is cheating, it always will be and it always has been. If you have to look at that shit then you are really messed up in the head! And yes most guys in the world today are screwed up ass holes thanks to porn! Don't cheat on your wife or girlfriend, if you going to look at that shit then make sure you are alone the rest of your life no body deserves to feel the pain that you will cause them buy making yourself happy
(On February 25th, 2008 at 12:26 pm)
Porn isn't entirely a bad thing; I believe it's all a matter of how it's used and what the content is of each film. Since most of my friends are guys and the fact I have three brothers, I have come to accept this is just the sort of thing many guys do, no different than my fixation on a couple of actors. In fact, I rather get a kick out of reading the titles, especially when they're derived from classic and contemporary films. "Poke A Hot Ass" makes me laugh hysterically!
Because I have such an uninhibited, inquisitive nature, I seriously just come out and ask guys what it is they get out of it. With the exception of a few who have earned the title of P-I-G, most of the fellas I've talked to seem to tell me the same things: the rubber necking effect, no different than that slow gawk one would do when witnessing a traffic accident, as well as just scooping up a few new ideas. And you know what, the same goes for me! I rather like Animal Planet!
Now granted, some of the extremely hardcore, low budget stuff out there is flat out degrading towards women and simply revolting. However, there is an entire sub-industry out there that is very appealing to devoted, long term couples. The women and men in these films are portrayed in much more realistic scenarios, and their body shapes, while very flattering, are not composed solely of silicone, hair dye and botox. Also, the classier, erotic ones also portray late twenties and thirty-something folks, which again is much more realistic. And the thing is, at least to me, is a lot of the content is simply acting out what I see suggested in magazines at the supermarket.
Therefore, just like alcohol, I don't see a problem with it, if it's used in moderation.
(On March 16th, 2008 at 7:26 am)
Most women will be abhorred at the idea that men view pornography, because they want to use sex as a weapon and/or controlling mechanism, and they want exclusivity in this regard.
This is why a guy with a pinup calendar of women in bikinis is "a pig", while the girl that says such is adjusting her "hunky abs of doom Firefighter" calendar and reading her romance novel about Doctor McDreamy.
(On June 21st, 2008 at 12:01 pm)
Baron Evil speaks the truth.
Seasoned guys know that 'romance novels' aren't just romance. We know about what happens down below when a woman fantasises about what she's reading and that's in her head not on a monitor or a tv screen.
What makes porn bad and romantic novels ok is the twisted set of social rules we think we 'should' abide by. Generally speaking society supports women (marriage, divorce, law, parenting rights, employment legislation) and porn tends to be accepted as a threat to a womans perceived security. Some insecure women worry that their man may 'fancy the pornstar more' so their response is to outlaw it to protect their interests. Its really selfish.
The sex industry is renowned for 'abusing women' but that's just social bulls**t. Women do it for the MONEY… so if you're female be careful taking the moral high ground regarding porn. It's women that continue to supply it and they're in it for the money!
Blessings all round x
(On July 15th, 2008 at 5:44 pm)
I never had a problem with my boyfriend watching porn until recently. I got a bunch on viruses on my computer becuase he's been downloading it so much. He watches is every other day. What I don't understand is if hes horny, why doesn't he just have sex with me? Any ideas?
(On July 31st, 2008 at 5:05 am)
The problem with pornography is that it sets expectations (unrealistic ones) on women. Women are portrayed as sex objects, always willing to engage in sexual activity at the request of a male hero (if you could call it that). These expectations could be really degrading not only to your partner but yourself. How would you feel if your compared you to porn stars or every guy/girl she/he walked past made a comment on them rather than you. Guys, girls will give sex to get emotion and girls, guys will give emotion to get sex.
It doesn't have to be that way, if you want to test your love for one another try not engaging in sexual activity all together (guys that includes your eyes).