PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

You've been dating for a long time and now you're thinking about moving in together. This is a big step and one that should be taken with a lot of thought and preparation. Long gone are the days where people waited until they were married before moving in together. In fact, many people find that moving in together before marriage is a way to find out what someone is like. The fact is, that when a couple first falls in love, hormones take over and it's often difficult to see each other's faults. However, after the "falling in love" effect wears off, (and it always does) reality sets in and you begin to see each other through – not so rose colored – eyes. In fact, characteristic traits that may have been present all along, begin to glare at you and you wonder, how you could have missed such an obvious character flaw.

Once you move in together, you can be sure that the blinders will soon come off and you'll see your significant other for who they are…in all their glory. You may not like what you see and you'll be burdened with a problem – what do you do now that you are living together. This is a very common occurance. In fact, simply turn on any of the "Judge Shows" and look at how many couples find themselves before a judge because they moved in together, too soon

Here is a word of warning, no matter how much you're in love, no matter how sure you are that it will last forever, if you are going to move in together, you need to put things in writing. Protecting yourself now legally can save a lot of pain later. Especially if you find that you have a broken heart, the last thing you will want to deal with are issues such as rent, utilities, and worse, trying to find a place to live. If you do decide to move in together, you need to discuss all of these issues first. You will need to determine whose name is on the lease, how much rent will be paid, which utilities will go in whose name, etc. You should put all of this in writing and have it signed. Having it notorized is even better. Although this may all seem a bit extreme, there's nothing extreme about safeguarding your future.

Issues arise all of the time. For instance, one person's source of income can suddenly change and the brunt of responsibility for the cost of living will fall onto the other person. You'll need to determine before hand how you will prepare for this. At first, the thought of living together may look great on the surface. Cheaper rent, someone to help with the bills, and constantly being with the one you love. However, it doesn't take long for circumstances to change. Protect yourself and your future and plan ahead. Put all of your details and agreements in writing. Verbal agreements are very difficult to prove in a court of law, and if worse comes to worse, you may find that you need a written agreement to prove your case. So, if you want to move in together, go for it. But be wise, use caution, and protect yourself with good judgment and get everything in writing.