planning mode
dating scene
So, you've just had your first date and surprisingly, you had a wonderful time. Now, you are faced with a dilemma – when is it proper to call and ask for a second date. You may be surprised to find out that everyone has a different opinion for this very common dating question. The answer is simple really; you should call when you feel like it. If you had a wonderful time, and can't wait for a second date, there is nothing wrong with calling. However, if you are worried how they'll respond, you may want to consider how you call.
For example, say you had a great time, the date ended with a good night kiss, and the usual, "Let's do this again, sometime." However, you neglected to make any specific plans. In this situation, you may feel uncomfortable as to whether or not the other party is ready for a second date. Unfortunately, you will never know until you make that second call. So, it is imperative that your second call counts, especially if you are going to bypass everyone else's advice and call the next day, or even sooner.
As a general rule, you wouldn't want to call on the same night. However, if you simply can't wait until the morning without finding out how he or she feels about you, a little creativity can go a long way when it comes to the reason behind your phone call. If you want to call on the same night, (provided it isn't too late) then you can try coming up with some creative excuses for the reason for your call. Maybe there was a question asked during your date that you hadn't answered or possibly you came up with a better answer. A creative way to start your second call is to call with the purpose of answering that question. Or if you enjoyed a dinner together, maybe you could call and begin the conversation by commenting on your meal or thanking them for their company.
In today's world, there are so many forms of communication that many of the old etiquette rules simply don't apply. However, good etiquette is always in style. If your date ended past 11:00 P.M. you should wait until the next day before calling. Also, if you had a wonderful time, but you can tell from your date that they are unresponsive during your phone call, then you should read the signs and not call again. There is nothing worse then trying to make romance when there is no connection.
One of the best ways to determine if a second date is feasible is by making that phone call and asking if they would like to go out again. In fact, it is often the sheer volume of telephone calls that signal the beginning of a serious relationship; so don't hesitate in making that call. Just remember to be courteous and never call too late in the evening. If you call and get an answering machine leave a message, but don't continue to call. If you've left a message and he or she hasn't returned your call, then take that as a "not interested" and move on. By using proper etiquette and a little creativity behind the purpose of your call, you can feel confident about making that second call. Either way, you deserve to know if a second date is probable or not.
(On April 6th, 2008 at 4:43 pm)
Yeah well me and this girl went out on a wendsday, it is now sunday night. I was gonna call her earlier, but i just wussed out kinda and so i just texted her, wait for a response. I'll be seeing her at school tommorrow, any advise?
(On April 7th, 2008 at 10:49 am)
If I had a good time and want to see my date again, I always make a habit out of texting after a date with something like, "I had a fabulous time…thanks for your company". This opens up communication and makes it easier to get in touch with them again soon.
Not sure how she responded after you texted her on Sunday but I would suggest that you don't wait that long to call if you had a good time.
Good Luck!
(On September 13th, 2008 at 4:27 pm)
Well if you ask me, I think texting is the WRONG way about going at it. My opinion on texting is that it's a wall of insecurity you are able to hide behind since it's more planned out and has the ability to be changed or deleted. I think the best thing you can do is CALL HER. Nothing says confidence than two people exchanging dialogue. Even if the conversation ends up being so awkward and painful filled with rejection between the two of you, at least you're able to walk away with satisfaction in that you tried. Truthfully, I think that in itself is the basic foundation of a good date. I'm telling you, if you had a great time I would advise that you call her in person. Tell her you had a great time with her and you would love to see her again. Good luck and stay off the texting. Who knows, she probably doesn't have text messaging capabilities.
(On April 15th, 2009 at 10:07 pm)
I was hooked up with guy who lives a ways away but is home about once a month. We hit it off and talked about when he is coming back and the possibility of me going to visit him in the next few months. He left yesterday..when is it right to text or call him again. 2-3 days and do I text or call him. and what do I say?
(On December 21st, 2009 at 5:01 pm)
I had a date last Tuesday with my date and I made sure that things between me and her were subtle and also exclusive. I was nervous to see how tall she was, almost as tall as me 6'4", but came up short an inch or maybe two without the heels. Anyway when I got there everything went well I picked up the tab (even though we fought a lil about it.)
Did I do the right thing insisting on picking up the tab even though she won the argument and put my money back in my pocket, after I lost the argument?
(On January 17th, 2010 at 5:15 pm)
This is to Baffled and every other guy out there who is even THINKING of dating a tall woman…YES YES YES…you did the absolute right thing. US tall women are used to guys leaving us to fend for ourselves, because all of the short women are getting the help. lol She probably insisted and argued, which kinda forced you to take control of the situation, because alot of men tend not to know how to handle a tall woman. Yes, tall women have lots of attitude and confidence – mostly because we aren't used to be treated as though we are cute as much as we are treated by men as equals or just one of the guys. People mostly comment on our height and everything about us usually gets lost in that one attribute….tall. However…I do push the cute factor just a little bit more than the typical tall woman. Hey, I like being "cute" lol