planning mode
dating scene
What would you say if I told you that nearly 50% of all couples that break up, consider dating their ex again? Maybe you’ve been in this situation, or are contemplating it right now. It’s easy to see why dating your ex is an alluring concept. It’s familiar, you have history together, and there was a time where the both of you were in love. In fact, maybe you’re thinking that your whole break up was a mistake – an immature flight of reason and passion that couldn’t be resolved. You think, "Maybe, its worth another try. Maybe, this time it will work."
Many people ask these questions and discover the only way to find out if they made a mistake by breaking up is to try again. They decide to give it one more chance. If you feel that the relationship deserves another opportunity, then you should go for it. However, you should carefully consider the chances of your relationship ending in the same manner, and you might find that making some minor changes in your communication may produce better results.
First, you and your ex should take a close look at what led to the initial break up. What was the reason that caused you to end your relationship in the first place? Also, once you determine that cause, you need to look at whether or not that issue has been resolved. For example, if infidelity was involved, and you two had trust issues and ended your relationship, it may be tempting to get back together after several months apart. Maybe you both locked gazes and felt that old familiar twinge of love in your stomach. After deciding that these are romantic feelings and not just lunch calling, you think back on the old times you shared. You become reminiscent of the past and start daydreaming about the life you could have shared together. Quickly, you begin talking about reconciliation, and try to pick up where you left off. Several months go by, and all seems fine, until you see the woman he had an affair with in the store. Suddenly, all of the feelings surface and your trust level plummets. Now, you are wondering if you should have bothered getting back together in the first place.
The only way to make a relationship with your ex truly work is to deal with the underlying issues that caused the break up in the first place. Relationships are a lot of hard work and energy. Forgiveness takes even more. For there to have been a break up means something occurred; someone’s needs weren’t being met. Those issues have to be resolved or the past will simply repeat itself. If both of you are truly committed to working things out and starting fresh, you may find that it is beneficial to seek the advice of a counselor. Obviously, you had an issue that you couldn’t resolve, that is why you broke up. Now, to get back together without resolving those issues will inevitably lead to failure. Take the time to seek counseling and work through those issues. You can do it together and give your relationship the fresh start that it deserves.
