PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

You’ve heard about long distance relationships, but how about long distance marriages? Well, that’s exactly what our friends and family members who are serving in the military are experiencing. There is no question that serving in the military takes a toll on everyone, but for those who are married or whose significant other is deployed over seas, the toll can be wearisome. The key to making your military long distance relationship last is communication.

If you have children together, the time spent apart can be burdensome. However, with the advancements in today’s technology, you can make sure that you include either mom or dad in the day-to-day details of everyday life. Many soldiers have stated that not only does it help them feel connected to their families and mates, but it also gives them something to look forward to. Emailing, using web cams, and chatting with Instant Messenger are great ways to keep the lines of communication open when your loved on is in the military.

There’s no easy way about it. If you are going to make your military relationship last, you are going to need to work hard at it. It is very easy to succumb to the loneliness that both of you feel when separated for long periods of time. The only way to conquer these temptations is to stand firmly committed to your relationship. Accountability is a great way to make sure that you honor and respect the commitment you’ve made to each other. Set up regular times (as you can) to communicate. For those who are at home, make a habit of writing to your loved one at the same time every day. This can be online, in an email, or in the form of a letter. By creating a routine of "communication" it will help you stay focused on your priorities.

When you are going through out your day, jot down little things. For military wives whose husbands are deployed, you may want to keep a daily journal. This is a great way to keep track of all of the little details that happened. It doesn’t have to be a time consuming project. It may just be something that you write in before going to bed for the night. This way, when Daddy comes home, he won’t feel that he missed everything in full detail.

Make sure to take advantage of all of the technology available to keep the lines of communication open. This includes videos, webcams, and other computer technology. However, don’t forget the good old-fashioned hand written letter. Sometimes, the enjoyment of receiving a letter can never be replaced by an email. Be sure to send lots of pictures as well.

Finally, if you feel that you can’t bear with the loneliness or the struggles of raising the children by yourself, you may want to join a support group. Military spouses often have support groups available to them to join. However, if you are dating someone in the military, you may even consider joining a group online. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to who is in the same situation is reassuring and all you need to stay focused on your relationships.