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When a couple first falls in love, they are convinced that their mate is perfectly flawless. They have no blemishes, no faults, and are perfect through and through. However, it doesn't take very long before the sparkle starts to lose its shine and the true nature begins to surface. Often, in retrospect, it becomes easy to recognize that the flaws were there all along, but were simply ignored.
Expecting that your partner will be perfect is irrational. Everyone has problems and there are no perfect people. The question isn't really what will you do if your partner has flaws, but are the flaws significant enough to put such a tremendous strain on your relationship that you would rather not be involved anymore.
It takes a lot of soul searching and sometimes brute honesty to look at the person you are falling in love with and determine whether or not their flaws are something that you can commit to. Yes, I said, "Commit to." When you make a commitment to someone, you are committing to him or her in good times and bad times. You are committing to accept them when they are in great moods, full of fun, hopelessly romantic, and bounding with laughter as well as when they are in the lowest points of their lives. This is why it is imperative that you keep your eyes open in the early stages of your relationship and determine if you can commit to your partner despite early warnings and red flags.
Red flags are signals that something is wrong. Everyone has something wrong in their life at one point or another, and every relationship has red flags or warning signals. The best method you can take is not to try to cover up the red flags or deny their existence, but to look at them and make a truthful assessment over whether or not you can commit to your partner should those red flags rear their ugly heads one day in full bloom.
Possessiveness, untruthfulness, lying, mistrust, laziness, inability to hold a job, and irresponsibility are all red flags that are often overlooked during the early stages of a relationship. Likewise, complaining, nitpicking, whining, clinging to parents, inability to make decisions, and lack of self-esteem are all signs that there may be trouble ahead during stressful situations. Couples that recognize red flags during the early stages of their relationship and work on them together have the best chances of succeeding during the high pressured stressful times that every relationship is bound to experience at some point.
Some red flags should never be ignored or overlooked, and should be addressed immediately. Violence, uncontrolled anger and rage, drinking and drug abuse, gambling, or infidelities during the early stages of a relationship are signs that a relationship is headed for serious trouble. Anyone experiencing these signs in their relationship would do wise to reevaluate their role in the relationship and may find that ending the relationship is the best course of action. By assessing the seriousness of red flags and determining whether or not you can work through them, you can avoid prolonging a relationship and end it before the problems become severe.
