Comments on: Can Taking A Break Strengthen Your Relationship?

By: Brie

Brie — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 01:57:18 +0000

Well..me and my girlfriend have been back together for almost 2 years…but last Sunday she told me she wants to take a break. I had a feeling on Saturday, when we got back from the movies. Things kind of felt awkward but I tried to let it go…only to find out on Sunday from my girl that she wants a break for her to do some soul-searching and whatever else she needs to figure out. So just for now we are Best Friends…I know its going to be hard to accept that right now…but I know it's not going to be forever. I feel like she is lost herself in our relationship…I'm so deeply in love with her and she was too…but now she seems to see me more as a friend…I honestly think she fell out of love with me…it was very strong since we met in Sept.08…it was only till I believe Feb. that she felt like her love has changed for me. This is pretty much my first long term relationship as well as for her and I know were pretty young…she'll be 19 in April and I'll be 20 in August…I know she needs sometime and I'm willing to wait for her…I don't want to seem like I'm settling for her, because that's not the case…I don't see myself with anyone else…I already know that my girl is probably going to get with this girl she met when she was working, which was way before she told me that she wants to take a break…I admit, I'm very jealous, but on the other hand, I know she needs to explore for her to realize that she wants to be with me even more…and to me it makes sense that for us to be together again she needs sometime for her to do some soul-searching. I don't know how to explain it…but I know that she is the one and only one for me. I just want me and her to be back together, I know not now, but when we're living out on our own…that's when a fresh relationship can start…I think that is what we need in order for us to be together.
I just want to be assured…I guess…
~

By: DEIDRE

DEIDRE — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 23:13:47 +0000

Me and my BF have been together for 2yrs and 10mo. to be exact. Our relationship is great and we have had more good times than bad. And we've been really happy. But I've been away from him for 2weeks now over him being very in-sensitive over a serious conversation we had about planing to have a baby. He's wanted to have a baby but Im just not quite as ready. Any how, We finally had a talk yesterday, and he gave me the "I want to take a break". Before we even talked he started the conversation like this "I want a break…a long break for a couple months, i think we should see other people and see what happends from then". I asked if we could just talk things over and work on our relationship, but he had made his decision. Im just hurt over him not trying to make an effort to just talk about it. And him just making his mind up with out coming up to me about it and finding a solution. But here's the iceing on the cake that just hurt me to the core. His reason for wanting a break is because I've denied him a couple of times for sex. I will let you know that we have great sex about 6x's a week and maybe at times it has not been 6x's a week. There are times when i dont feel my sexiest or Im just not in the mood. But its not like we have'nt had sex in a month or anything. It really made me feel like all the other real issues we could of taken a break for or broken up for and didnt …why now? After all the things Ive done for him and gave him all my heart & made so much effort in this relationship… is just out the window because I've said no a few times. And this was actually the 1st I've ever heard about this. It just made me feel like thats all that matters to him, like Im just a sexual object to fulfill his needs. I feel like thats all that was holding this relationship. I understand sex is one of important elements to keep a happy relationship but I dont believe its the main thing to hold a relationship. I feel he forgot about our love we shared and all the small things that once matterd. I dont know? He wanted to take a break. I didnt want that and Im not going to waite around to find out if he wants to be with me. Its either he does or he does'nt. Am i being 2 sensitive? Is he being fair? Am I being fair to break up and not agree with a break? Is this a good enough reason to have a break over? Was this an excuse for him wanting to be with another? I am just so confused on how we were having talks of having a baby and moving to Oregon and had plans together …now this? It just does not make sense. I dont feel I deserve to be treated like this, do you think its best to move on?

By: N

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 23:27:33 +0000

My bf and I have been together for almost 6 years. We had broken up after 5 years and it was only a few months into the break up when we started spending time together. Soon enough we were back together and working through the issues. We recently moved into our own place, for the first time with no room-mates (which we have always had the past 3 or 4 years) Everything was going well. We agreed on things and we were happy. We have only been there for about 7 or 8 weeks, and the past 4 I have been depressed and unhappy with our relationship. Things are so smooth, almost to smooth. We go out seperately a lot due to our schedules, but neither of us are concerned or really ask about each others times. For example I went out and had a drink and neither of us are for drinking nad driving so I stayed with my brother at his friends, and my boyfriend was at home. I came home, and he was just like, did you have a good time.. cool. And that was it. It is like we just don't have that care factor with certain things anymore. We have grown complacent with where we are at. I don't really know where he is at, he seems to put out a similar vibe, but is also showing how happy he is. I am not sure how to bring this up to him, as I do not want to hurt him, I do love him.. I just don't know if we are in love or just comfortable with one another and afraid we won't find someone else down the road. I am just very lost, and I want to try to make things work, but at the same time, I don't know what I want, and I don't want to hurt him. I also have found myself finding interests in another man and just wanting something different or more for myself.. and I dont know if that is because of what is happeneing within my relationship or what… Just lost and confused. But time will tell all. I mean he has his issues that I have always had problems with, but they are getting better and I am sure vice versa for him. I know everything will work out, whether it be together or apart.

By: Jon

Jon — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 14:04:43 +0000

this is what her mom told me…..what do I do?

Jon this is between you and I but I dont think she has givin up on you.

she just told me she needs some time to be single before she gets married and so forth.But to me she still would go back with you.Now thats how I took it.And I know there is no one else.I wouldnt lie to you.
Everytime she does this I feel bad for you.Cause we like you so well.I thought you were going to come here and go to school.But she said she just needs space for a while.And if she goes to Cancun I think Im going with her.I just want her safe.Shes had 3 boyfriends since high school and each time she broke up with them it was hard for me cause I just get use to them.I liked Nathan but I didnt like him cheating oon her.So in that case it was a she lgood thing.I think ooks at me being married at a young age and she just wants to be single for a while.But I do things and I wouldnt have it any other way for me.I want o do something without Jay I do it. We both have our space. But I just know there is no one else.I will keep you updated on things.

By: Peter

Peter — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:29:04 +0000

It sounds positive mate. If it was me I would be patient… Keep your distance and give her the space she needs… Her mate wouldn't be saying that if it was just a way to get rid of you. Breaks can help a relationship, but only if you do it right. I hope all goes well.

By: Jon

Jon — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 03:39:39 +0000

Me and my gf of 2 an 1/2 years are on a break on her will. Is there anyone out there who has been on a break and the girl has came back or is she just letting me off easy? Her friend called me and said that she has told her that she misses me and thinks we will be fine but just needs space, so her friend told me to wait…..

just wondering if anyone has been in the same situation and had a happy ending?

By: JP

JP — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 19:08:46 +0000

My GF and I were together for about 3 years. We have lived together for the past two years. Everything seemed to be great in out relationship abd we were both madly in love with each other. We both knew that we were going to spend the rest of our livies with the other. To begin, she would always be the one that encouraged us to become engaged and I always told her we would when the time and money was right. About 3 months before we split She picked out a ring and I began to pay for it through layaway. After that we began to look at houses to buy. I know its a little crazy to buy a house with someone you are not married to but we knew we would be someday. Again the house thing was all her idea. She would also name our future kids and actually contemplate having kids with me now. It seemed that we were the perfect couple. She got me thru my dads death a few years ago and I seemed to help her get through a lot of though times. We have no trust issues and bicker about little things but never really had a major fight.

About the first of the month, after we had already had an offer accepted on a house, she told me that she was unsure about everything in our relationship and began to have cold feet about everything. I thought maybe she would get thru this but she didnt. The same day she told me that she also was at the hospital all day with her family as her mammaw just had open heart surgery and when she saw hew mammaw on the ventilator my Gf actually passed out.

She says she still loves me and cares about me dearly, but feels that things arent right. She says that she has been very depressed for a while with her job and money sitaution and the house thing scared her.

I love her so much and want to be back together with her but she says she doesnt think she can be with me. Its allso confusing, because she has done a 180 in the last month.
What do i do?

By: JP

JP — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 19:08:30 +0000

I love her so much and want to be back together with her but she says she doesnt think she can be with me. Its allso confusing, because she has done a 180 in the last month.

By: Alexandra Coleman

Alexandra Coleman — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 18:00:27 +0000

Hi there,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 months now. Recently, I've felt that things have not been the same…the excitement is just no longer there and I have found that we have some personality conflicts. He's my neighbor and I feel that we moved too fast for our own good. We are currently on a break and I'm not sure what to do. How do you know if someone is really the one for you? If you feel that the person you are with is not the one for you, is that a reason to let the relationship go?

Thanks,
Alex

By: Tresa

Tresa — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 04:08:40 +0000

My boyfriend and I started hanging out in May 2009. Everything was going great. We spent a great deal of time together, but still managed to have our own lives seperately. He was working and going to school as I was doing the same thing. We met each other's families on the 1st of July and my family loved him and his family loved me. On July 4th, he asked if we could be exclusive and I agreed. Everything seemed to be great. We were talking about our future and he brought up marriage and kids. A few days later, he planned a romantic dinner and told me he loved me and I was everything he could ever want and more.

Then all of a sudden he started pulling away at the beginning of September. He wouldn't come over and rarely texted or called me. I know he had been hurt really bad in previous relationships, so I tried to reassure him that he could come to me with any doubts or concerns, but he never returned any on my calls or emails. After not hearing from him in three weeks, his mother called me and told me he lost his job in September and was kicked out of school because he couldn't make his tuition payments. A week later, he sent an email saying that he shouldn't have neglected me the way he did and he's depressed and can't do this anymore. In my frustration, I responded by saying have a nice life. Since that night, he has been texting me randomly saying how much he loves and misses me. He continues to use our pet names from the when we were dating, but states that he has so much to worry about and isn't ready for a relationship right now. I'm so confused because his mom, dad, and sisters still don't know what's going with him. He still hasn't found a job and his bills continue to pile up.

I want to be there for him, but I don't want him to think I am doing this to win him back. I love him and I want him to get through this because he has such a bright future ahead of him. I don't know what I am supposed to do at this point.

Thanks,

Tresa