PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

When two people enter a relationship, there is one thing that they will bring with them – baggage. Though at first, the feelings of love may be strong and overwhelming, it doesn’t take very long before those feelings wear off and you begin to see each other for whom you really are. When this happens, dialogue and communication begins to change. At first, the two of you may never utter an unflattering word or remark to each other, however after time, you’ll find that you’ll know exactly how to push each other’s buttons. This is a simple fact of relationships. The better you know each other, the deeper your communication will be, and the easier it will be to trigger sensitive areas that each partner has.

Communication is a vital component to a healthy relationship. Some people feel that when they are in love, they show that love by confiding all of their secrets in their partner. They may approach the relationship with an open heart and feel that their willingness to share all of their intimate details is in direct correlation to the way they feel. It makes sense – if you love someone completely, you will want him or her to know everything about you. This usually includes sharing intimate details from the past. However, sometimes you may choose to think twice about sharing intimate details from past relationships with your partner.

No matter how much love you feel for your partner, you should carefully consider what information you should share with him or her, especially when it involves past relationships. Though your relationship may be great, it doesn’t take much for feelings of jealousy to surface. Often times, well meaning people have shared intimate details with their partner only to find that the information was later used against them during an argument or a time of tension. Other people may not even realize that talking about past relationships can make other people uncomfortable. You should always approach the subject of past relationships carefully, and if you detect any apprehension in your partner, you should change the subject immediately.

It’s usually best to let the past stay dormant and approach each relationship with a fresh and new attitude. You should also realize that your past relationship is just that – it’s in the past. There is probably no real bearing that your past relationship will have on your new relationship, therefore you should ask yourself if it is really beneficial to bring it up. More than likely you’ll realize that if you really assess why you feel the need to reveal intimate details regarding past relationships, you’ll find that there is nothing you can discuss that can help your current progress. Recognizing that you are in a new relationship with a different partner can help quell the need for discussing past details.

If you are in a relationship and your partner continually brings up their past, you should let them know how it makes you feel. If you feel uncomfortable, then you have to let him or her know. There is no way your relationship can continue to thrive and grow unless you address your feelings in an open and healthy manner.