planning mode
dating scene
One of the emotions that most couples experience at some point in their relationship is jealousy. Jealousy may best be described as an emotion that arises when one person feels that someone else is giving the attention they deserve to another person. In addition to attention, a partner may feel jealous if his or her partner gives time, love, or affection to someone else. Jealousy can become a problem in a relationship, as the partner who is feeling jealous begins to dominate and control their partner’s behavior. Additionally, jealousy is caused when one person perceives a threat to the stability of their relationship, and they may begin to act in inappropriate ways to try to remove the threat. This is when the actions of a jealous partner may begin to cross the lines and become obsessive.
An obsessively jealous partner may try to control the actions of the other person. This may include trying to limit who they see, talk to, where they go, and who they spend time with. They may begin monitoring phone calls, checking emails, or even stalk the other person. Since jealousy is rooted in resentment, if the person who is becoming obsessed begins to perceive that there is cause for jealousy, their obsession may become explosive. One of the dangers of jealousy is that the more the mind begins to ponder scenarios, the easier it is to be fooled into believing that the partner is engaging in suspicious behavior. This creates a cycle that may quickly escalate into uncontrollable behavior.
Obsessive jealousy can be a dangerous mix of emotions and may be detrimental to a relationship. Unfortunately, there is no way of predicting whether a potential partner will experience obsessive jealousy or not. However, you should always be aware of the early signs and deal with this type of behavior as soon as you recognize it.
Extreme and obsessive jealousy is usually attributed to low self-esteem or personal problems. Many times, someone becomes jealous because they feel that they are inadequate. The only time that jealousy may be defined as “justified” is if the partner has broken the trust, usually by cheating. However, it is often obsessive jealousy that may cause the injured partner to realize that they can no longer continue in the relationship. Often when trust is betrayed, the other partner may agree to forgive and try to work things out, only to discover that they are plagued with jealousy. Sometimes, the jealousy becomes so great that the relationship becomes toxic and must end.
If you or your partner are experiencing obsessive jealousy, you should stop and take a long hard look at yourself. First, you should determine where the jealousy is coming from and truly ask yourself if the jealousy is unfounded. It may be possible that you are projecting past failures from previous relationships on your partner and accusing them or feeling jealous without reasonable cause. Trying to think rationally when feeling overwhelmed with jealousy may be very difficult, however, if you or your partner plan on saving your relationship, you will need to address the underlying insecurities that are contributing to the jealousy and resolve them.
(On October 11th, 2007 at 4:44 am)
The extract was great, it gave sound advice,but how about if your partner has a history of infidelity,and is not communicating with the other partner,for instance, goes to work and never calls to say that he is working late,very often the wife has to call and ask if he is working late, and the reply is always yes, but then friends can see him in the evening around 6:30 p.m. not working withe the company's truck, but on the road in his car, so they assume he is heading for home, they call and say your husband is coming home shortly, but he never arrives until 9:30 p.m. how fair is that to me? Should not I ask questions? I have even called his work place to enquire if they are working late tonight – because it was around 11:00 p.m. and he did not call and was not at home yet. Was I wrong in doing so?
(On December 4th, 2007 at 6:21 pm)
ok i have a few questions of my own…. my boy friend is crazy jealous and well the issue steams from me being completely honest in the beginning!!! he asked about what had happened between me and my x so i told him…. we did nothing but fight and i ended up messing around on him and i started to have a lot of feeling for the guy i was cheaten with… turns out that the guy i was cheaten wanted nothing more than a fling…. so now he is going through my phone, net history, bacially any thing i have to see if i am talken to this guy… in the beging of the relationship i was still talken to this guy but once i realized that he wanted to stick around i ended the friend ship… but before i did this he found he phone number in my phone…. 5 months later he is still freaken what do i do?????? help me
(On March 25th, 2008 at 4:00 pm)
i reallly like the advice you gave it helped me alot with an essay i had to do with this topic and also it is helping me alot with my boyfriend
(On August 20th, 2008 at 9:56 am)
I need HELP! I have been dating my b-friend for 19 months. My family does thinks he does not treat me right. Well my oldest brother and sister in law decide to give a guy my phone number and he calls me. It has been 4 months that this call took place I did except the call on two occ. because I was listening to my family and thought I should move on. i had decided after 2 call I did not want to do this…I loved my b-friend. He found out and now does not trust me at all. He brings this up all the time when we argue. How do I gain trust back in him or should this be a indication it is over! He states now he may never commit because he does no trust me…What should I do…move on or try to rebuilt the relationship?
(On March 18th, 2009 at 9:24 am)
Nothing wrong with this, at all, people should get it more.
(On April 14th, 2009 at 2:58 pm)
I love online dating. It's been taking up all my time though! I suppose that's better than having nothing to do though!
(On October 12th, 2009 at 12:16 pm)
Is it Obssessive Jealousy if I notice an attraction between my husband and someone else who is desperately always seeking his attention