PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

We have all been there before! Six margaritas, three very adamant "I'm not drunk's!!!" and one phone number of a chemical engineer with braces later, there we are, scrolling through potential victims to drunk dial. We all have them; the two or three people that always pop-up into our psyche every time we somehow have a little too much too drink. The only inhibition we possess however, is not if we should actually call them, but who we really should call first! This is where our friends step in, de-claw the cell phone away from our grips and remind us that we are drunk and that it's a bad idea. But is it really a bad idea?

No…I'm not drunk! This is just an attempt to delve a little deeper into why we even have an urge to call that certain person in the first place. I can't accept the fact it is just a bad idea, from my friend, or from myself. Consider this an investigation into the efforts of being a good friend and knowing when and when not to allow friends to drink and dial*.

*Please note that there is a disclaimer in regards to this investigation: The drunk dial that I am examining is the drunk dial to the person that makes our hearts feel tingly when we think about them in our inebriated state, not the person that makes other places feel, well, tingly.

Thus, the investigation starts with the burning question: What is it that we really have to say to our drunk dialees? From my own experience, the drunk dial is generated from repressed emotions and/or issues that have yet to be resolved and words that have yet to be uttered to one another. Therefore, in our alcoholic stupor we somehow gain the ‘courage' to tell our dialees the things we've been wanting to say but never really could.

Our inability to clean our romantic slate of these emotions or issues stems from various facts, but all simply boil down to the cold, hard fact that we still really care about the person and as absurd as it may sound we have forgotten all reason why!

Which consequently explains why we do not confront these items as sober, rational human beings; we are afraid that they will disappoint us and that we will somehow lose them forever. The story ends. The credits roll. The lights come up. The repressed emotions or words that once pathetically linked our two souls together have been severed and now we are definitely alone. So alone.

It's like the scene from Swinger's, when Rob tries to convince Mike that the heartache after his break-up will soon fade. Rob sympathizes saying, "Sometimes it still hurts. You know how it is man, it's like you wake up everyday and it hurts a little bit less, and you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And the funny thing is that, this is kinda weird, but it's like, it's like, you almost miss that pain." Confused, Mike asks "You miss the pain?" And in a moment of epiphany and absolute clarity, Rob responds, "Yea, for the same reason you miss her. Because you lived with it for so long."

Although, friends should not let friends drink and dial, friends should never let their friends get "used to the pain". There will always come a time to allow them to pass NO and collect their life back. If the drunk dialing friend can finally confront the issues and choose to go back to happier days rather than continue his/her life as a good little emotional sadist, by all means, let them! It may be the only thing that saves them for years, if not decades of dwelling!

After that point it will be time for Rehab. Rehab of the heart is long, hard, but much needed. Support their decision, prepare for the heartache that will follow (because it's gonna hurt) and make sure that the toxic person that once occupied their drunk mind is gone once and for all.

Blessed are the heartbroken that have those good friends. And we are all fortunate if we have the privilege to encounter our drunk dialing angels. So cheers to friends, that fill our glasses, drive us home, help us into bed, blow the whistle on self-destructive behavior and wipe our tears when we think we are alone. Without you, we'd probably still be shamefully sitting at the bus stop next to the bar texting our dialees rhetorical questions like "are you up?"

Courtesy: jeani