PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

I remember when I started telling a few of my friends that I had made a decision to be celibate until marriage. A few of them laughed and I don't mean a little chuckle. They hollered, even mocked and then looked at me as if I were crazy. One even told me that his wife had tried to use that while they were dating and he wasn't having it. I told him how very supportive and respectful he was of her decision. Hopefully he heard my sarcasm.

A few years ago, a person would not be as open to use the word Celibate when describing their nonexistent sex life. Celibacy was usually associated with people whom were either newly Christians or religious. Now being Celibate or abstaining from sex is becoming almost as popular as the act of sex itself.

However, we still live in a country that is ruled by sexual deity. With each Fall Season, television explodes with more shows where sexual escapades are the premise. If we were to believe what we see on television and in a lot of popular films, a date is not successful unless it ends with sex.

So here are a few things to think about if you have decided to practice Celibacy. One, can you date and be Celibate in a culture so ruled by sexual ideology? Two, if you do practice Celibacy, how do you approach the subject with someone you're interested in dating. Do you tell them right away and hope they don't go screaming out of the room? Or three, what if you aren't sure how to bring up the subject because you're really into the person, however you've been dating for awhile and you are anticipating that either they are going to want to make a move or talk about making a move?

I believe that most people (if not all) who have decided to be Celibate, did not come to that decision lightly. Deciding to be Celibate is just as challenging as telling yourself that ‘starting Monday, I plan to diet' or ‘after this last one, I will not smoke again'. You can easily go off your plan. Believe me, it ain't easy!

However, the act itself can be a way of cleansing and a way of healing from hurtful relationships, promiscuity, spiritual awareness or just wanting to wait for the right one. But even with those choices you've made, it still could make you a little anxious and weary when deciding to share it when it comes to dating.

Hopefully when you do decide to share (and to be fair to that person, you should always do it at the beginning of any relationship) you won't run into someone who tries to force you to chose between them or your morals or at the least, they will be honest and tell you it's either cool or it's not. Either, way if they don't respect your choice, tell them to step! Trust me, sooner or later you will meet someone who will.

Courtesy: Sheilah Brooks