planning mode
dating scene
Post Count: 12
Thursday, November 8th, 2007
Categories: Attraction, Dating Advice, First Dates
I've had my fair share of horrible dates – who hasn't? Before, I'd usually suffer through them in silence, making small talk and pretending to laugh at their less-than-humorous jokes.
Eventually, I started to realize that not only was I making myself miserable; I was leading the poor sap on! I can't tell you how many times guys have called me after a first date, only to realize after the 17th call I had no desire to go out with them again…
But, I digress.
What I'm trying to explain to you is simple: if a date isn't going the way you'd hoped, it's in your best interest to end it as quickly and painlessly as possible.
The last thing you want to do is be caught at the end of the night fending off an over-eager date's advances because he thought the two of you had a marvelous time (I speak from personal experience, TRUST me!)
It's really easy to tell when it's time to end a date – but not necessarily so easy to actually end it!
Let's say your date does something that offends you. I went out with a guy who took me to a Mexican food restaurant. The evening started out well enough, but when the waitress came by to take our order, he could not stop making comments about her breasts – I kid you not.
The poor woman couldn't stop blushing, and I was aghast at his behavior. That ended the date rather quickly, needless to say.
The bottom line is if your date offends you, there's no reason to believe he won't do it again. If you don't like his overall behavior, why suffer through a terrible date in the hope that it'll get better? It won't.
Even if your date doesn't offend you, it may just be simple compatibility issues. If you aren't feeling the chemistry, don't kid yourself into thinking it'll magically happen.
For example, I met a man at a coffee shop after work one day, and we immediately started talking. He asked me for a date, and I accepted – but I realized after the fact that I just wasn't that into him.
Sure, he was a nice enough guy – but there weren't any sparks!
When I met him for a movie later that week, I decided to give it a chance and see where the evening went. We watched the movie, and afterward he took me home.
Throughout the night I'd realized I just wasn't feeling him, and I'd been trying to think of a polite way to turn down another date invitation, if it came.
I got more than I'd anticipated, unfortunately! Not only did the guy try to grope me outside my home, but when I pushed him away and told him I wasn't into him, he had the gall to ask for another date anyway!
This proves my point that if you aren't feeling the chemistry upon initial contact, you never will! I should have turned down his invitation and saved both of us a lot of grief!
Ultimately, only you can decide when it's time to end a date – or when you should never accept an invitation to begin with!
Don't make yourself suffer through a boring, offensive, or otherwise lackluster date out of politeness or fear of hurting the other person. You may end up with a tricky situation on your hands if you do.
Whatever you do, don't settle for a guy you're just not that into… if you do, you won't recognize when something better comes along!

