planning mode
dating scene
Why is it that there is always a sense of excitement when we get ready for a night on the town? A bubbly anticipation as we zip our dresses, button our blouses, spray the cologne, tousle the hair. It's not as if we are going out to that same bar that we've been frequenting for the last 5 years, for the first time! The floors are still sticky from spilled drinks and foot traffic, the doorman is still on a power trip and the same drunk teenager with a fake I.D is always dancing on the table in the corner for no good reason. Yet, weekend after weekend, we rally at the house, donning our party apparel, high fives all around and a silent expectation brewing in our well dressed bodies. But, for what?
This, my friends is the age old addiction that most single adults suffer from. It is the impetus that helps feed the starving model girlfriends of the wealthy bar owners, it is the catalyst that makes us endure long lines at the door to inspire others to follow suit, it is the mechanism of disappointment and a defeated spirit. It, is the false hope that we will actually meet someone decent, attractive and just plain wonderful at a bar!
Now, many will argue that they never go out to a bar with the hopes to meet someone but rather just to have a "girl's night out" or a good time with "the boys". However, this lie can be comparable to going to Hooters for the buffalo wings, or reading Playboy for the literary content.
First and foremost, let's get down to why it is so hard to meet a great person at the bar.
It's a Bar
This is easy, look around, inhale the stale beer – It's a bar. Yes, the mecca of drunken debauchery and fuzzy memories of a late night out; Fuzzy memories that include the hottie that we gave our number to in an inebriated stupor. Beer is great, beer creates extraversion and friendliness, but, let's not forget that beer does not create love connections. Everyone's perception is slightly altered and our expectations seem to get thrown out the window. Sadly, the only time we remember how drunk we actually were is when we come face to face with the "I can't believe I gave him/her my number" person in an awkward early drink at the…where else? Bar.
The Options don't just stop at the Cocktails
It's a shame that many of us, against better judgment, will believe that we can meet Prince Charming or the Girl Next Door at Beer's Are Us. We can definitely find eye candy, but the candy's have eyes too! It is a breeding ground for options, so while we are thinking Cosmo or Gin and Tonic, our love interest is thinking, A's or Double D's. Although, these types of options are great, they tend to distract us and them from the quality of the person we are looking for. All of a sudden, intellect and compassion has been traded in for perky and drunk!
When in Rome…
Propriety is an important aspect in life. We function and create community by following these guidelines. We whisper in the library, raise our hands to talk in a group and we drink, flirt and try to get lucky at bars. No blame should be placed on individuals that attempt to achieve this, as the bar serves as the arena to do so. Wishful thinking at bar is as futile as hoping to finding meaningful lyrics in a 50 Cent track. Thus, when in Rome…expect Romans!
As disappointing as it may seem and as discouraged as we may feel there is hope. Mama always said there would be days like this and she also said that there are more fish in the sea. Thus, although bars are great for a random hook-up and the very rare occasion to meet someone fantastic, I suggest we test other waters and not only wade in the swamp among the weeds. Check out the finale to the Bar-None series with a guide to testing the waters and getting out of the Bar once and for all!
Courtesy: jeani
