PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

Welcome back and congratulations on taking your first step to leaving the bars and testing new waters, and no, De Nile does not count.

Despite the unsettling facts discussed in series debut of the impossible environment the bar creates for romance, it is not to say that we don’t have much more promising locales. In fact, instead of the tired query of “Where else I can go to meet someone?” I challenge you to consider “What else you can do to meet someone in or out of a bar?”

Museums, parks, restaurants, ball games, classes, dating websites etc. are all great places to meet a special somebody. It’s just our tactic in going about it which determines our success. The ease of being in a place that is built to have people mingle, imbibe courage-inducing liquids and having a group of singles that expect us to flirt has rendered the single species useless in any other situation.

We must first extract the elements that we use in a bar and modify how we use them in other situations, such as the bookstore, for example. Instead of asking, “Come here often?” “What are you drinking?” or “Is this stool taken?” Try engaging in a conversation with, “Do you suggest any good books?” “What are you reading?” or “That’s a great book…” We all know that the first line essentially is a pick-up line utilizing the method of finding a commonality based on the environment we are both in. The point is to get them to notice that you noticed them.

Once the connection has been made, maintain a light conversation in which you may present yourself in. As both of you are in a bookstore, talk about the books you like, the authors, the weird guy at the counter who smells like peanuts, or about a concert this weekend in tribute to the “Biography of Kurt Cobain” book the love interest is holding. Add your humor, your daring side and your intelligent self while conversing. There is no denying that this may be much more pleasant and easier when the person you’re talking to doesn’t seem to be spinning and the words don’t seem to slur out of your mouth.

Lastly, end the conversation with something to look forward to. Rather than committing to another intoxication fest, invite the love interest to a cup of coffee at a great rare book shop café, to the amazing trail that is highlighted in the wilderness book you both seem to have or the new movie that came out that was based on the best selling novel they were eyeing.

Meeting a great person was never meant to be easy. In fact, that is what makes the search for romance so fun and exciting. However, there is much to be said for how we actually go about meeting someone, and more specifically where we go about meeting someone. Yes, the bar is fun and occasionally we can get lucky, but let’s try not to just put all our eggs in one basket. Consider the possibilities of, anywhere really. Employ the same tactics you use in a bar in other situations, just make sure you’re sober when you do it. Free yourself from the addiction of the small glimmer of hope of meeting a special somebody at the bar, but don’t be discouraged. We all go to the bar for the same reasons as some people buy lottery tickets, there is always a chance that we will win. However, if it really is a statistical method, well, lets just say you can find me at the 7-11 on Friday nights next to the cute fella looking for a coin for his Lotto Scratcher.

Courtesy: jeani