PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

I'm sure we've all heard this statement many times – "He completes me" or "I won't feel whole until I meet that special person." I used to be one of those women who believed I would not be a complete person without a husband or having a child. This idea came more from the media and the way they portrayed the role of women which was strange because it was not the role my parents had created.

My mother was a very independent woman. She had a career and a life outside of the home with her own hobbies that did not include me or my father, and my father also had his own identity outside the home, but that did not mean they didn't make time to do things together.

We seem to put our lives on hold based on being in a relationship. There are people who refuse to do simple things like taking themselves to dinner, to a movie or even things like going on vacations alone. I've even heard a few women comment that they want a house or new car or even a piece of jewelry, but would rather wait for that 'special someone' to buy it for them. But the comment that concerns me the most is… 'I won't be happy until I meet that special person or marry someone.'

What happened to some of us where we define ourselves by what others can do for us or only do the minimal with our lives in hopes that the person who we meet will help us to become complete?

When we go into a relationship as a dependent person or even expecting that person to make us happy, we are not only putting strain on that relationship, but on the other person which is unfair. If those are your expectations, then you're in for a world of hurt. No one wants the strain of having to constantly make that person happy. Creating our own happiness and having our own destiny outside of any relationship is important to our wellbeing and the person we are with.

Additionally, there are so many men and women out there who are enjoying themselves, have amazing careers and are creating a wonderful life with the hopes that they can meet someone who is doing the same. So think about it… which would you rather have—a person who depends on you to make them happy and for you to map out their lives, or someone who is already living theirs and hoping someone else is ready for the ride?