PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

My ex-fiance had a penchant for looking at other women when we were together and no matter how many times I would tell him it bothered me, he would continue. My thought process was that if he continued, then I would just join in the fun and do my own looking. When I shared with him my idea on joining his little hobby, he told me in strong terms that if I even turned my head to look at other men; he would cause me bodily harm. Moving on…

There are so many things that men do that if a woman were to try some of these things, she would be snubbed and most likely labeled. Take for instance when it comes to dating. Men are patted on the back when they are dating more than one woman at a time, while a woman is considered loose or much worse.

However, I also realize that men are also having the same problems when it comes to double standards. For instance my comment about my ex looking at other woman. I hang with both men and women frequently and usually it's the men who do the gawking. But I do have a girlfriend who just loves looking at the men to the point where I get uncomfortable for them. It's no different then how my male friends check out women, but for some reason seeing my girlfriend do it makes me uncomfortable.

Another example would be when a man is dating a younger woman he is considered a cradle robber, but if a woman decides to date someone her junior she is cheered. I remember a friend commenting negatively against the age difference between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and how she lost all respect for Cruise. My thoughts were would she feel negatively of me if I decided to date someone half my age?

It comes to the point where double standards are getting in the way of our dating. Such as, if a woman asks a man out, she is considered pushy and if the man doesn't reach for the check, he's considered cheap.

Unfortunately the actions and habits that have become the norm in our society from equal pay in the workforce to who should pay for dinner often leads to double standards between men and woman and there seems to be no middle ground causing disagreements when it comes to the etiquette of simple dating. When this happens, we limit our true selves, afraid to journey outside of our "determined" roles society has placed on us.