PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

I don't know about you, but I often get Xmas gifts that I don't like, care for or even need. For instance, my stepmother would buy me these hideous sweaters and outfits and even though they were not my taste, being the person that I am, I would smile and thank her. After all, I was taught it's the thought that counts. The idea of giving away something someone gave me for Xmas just didn't sit well with me so instead of throwing it out or giving it away, I would feel guilty and I would hold onto it and a couple of years later have a pile of stuff I didn't care for.

There is something about the holidays that makes us hold onto things that we no longer need or want or maybe even afraid to let go of. I took the gifts from my stepmother without any comments, because of my fear; the fear that I'd rather get something from her then nothing at all.

I think the same can ring true when it comes to staying in relationships especially around the holidays. Television is full of ads for special romantic things we should buy for that special someone we are dating and then there are the movies showing us how sad it is if you don't have that special someone in your life to share Xmas or New Years with. I remember friends who would tell me you must have a date for New Years, which secretly meant that if you didn't have one, you were pathetic or a few of my friends who would never break off with a boyfriend no matter how bad the relationships were. Just the idea of having a date, any date for the holidays was good enough.

Staying with someone because it's the holidays is not fair to you or to him or her. Sure it's nice getting a gift from a boyfriend or girlfriend, but it can be more special if it's from someone you care about or when you're buying something special for them. It's also a strain being around someone who you no longer care for, and you're trying to buy him or her something special, but it's challenging because they're not special and you have to try to force it on one of the most special days of the year. It's a waste of time, energy, money and it is also selfish.

No one wants to break someone's heart on the holidays and no one wants to be alone on one, but staying in a relationship for holiday sake only to dump him or her after the New Year is self-serving. Wouldn't that just defeat the purpose of the true meaning of the holiday?