PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

Back in the 90’s I remember a movie coming out called ‘He Said, She Said’ with Kevin Bacon. I’ve never seen the movie, but I do recall thinking it was a great title and a great idea for someone to capitalize on by either writing a book or writing a screenplay based on the way men and women can see a similar situation, but somehow see it in a completely different way.

Recently I thought of that movie again, but with a different slant. Do we really listen to each other when we talk? I mean do we honestly listen to the other person’s opinion or are we already creating an answer in our head way before the person is even done speaking?

What I’m asking is when you are having a heated discussion or disagreement or even a difference of opinion with your boyfriend, husband, etc., are you really listening to that person or are you already working on your comeback line.

I thought about this recently when I went out with a friend to a hotspot called the Yard House located in Long Beach at the Pike. (Check them out for the single scene on Thursdays and Fridays, plus great jerk chicken wings.)

Any way, my friend this one evening was feeling a little anxious about things (relationships being one) and I suggested we go there. Let’s call her Wanda.

While we were munching on our appetizers, the place was getting a little crowded and a couple of guys were standing around looking for a place to sit. When they greeted us, my friend offered them a seat and one of them decided to take her up on her kind offer. Let’s call him Mark.

As Mark waited for his table, they struck up a conversation about relationships and before I knew it, they were both trying to make their points on why women/men need to do the things they do. By mid-conversation it became heated to the point that they were talking over each other. Her question, “why do men stereotype plus seem to gravitate towards the way one looks instead of one’s character?” His was, “why are women so materialist and why don’t they ever know what they really want?”. They went back and forth neither one waiting for answer. I felt like I was watching a tennis match.

At the end he felt she was probably pretentious and looking for someone w/money (which is way off-base because my friend does very well on her own.) and she commented that he was just young and naïve.

But in my opinion they both were so eager to prove their points that neither could see the potential in each other.

Being a good listener takes an acquired skill but often we are so motivated by being in the right that we don’t bother to realize how important being a good listener is.

I love listening to my male friends talk. I ask questions and then I sit back and listen and that has helped me to learn so much about the opposite sex. Of course I will never know a hundred percent what makes a man tick, but because I listen I’m pretty good at figuring it out.

It’s important that we listen to each other. Everyone needs to be heard. Because believe it or not it’s just as important for people to be heard as it is for them to be loved. For some, it can mean the same…