PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

Most of the time, it’s pretty clear when you’re being asked out for a date. The guy or girl in question is pink-cheeked and nervous, and the situation makes it clear that this is about romance…not finding a new buddy who likes Star Wars as much as you do. But occasionally you can go out with somebody who either hasn’t made it clear whether or not this is a date…or, even worse, doesn’t seem to realize that you asked him or her out on a date instead of just a friendly outing.

This sticky, awkward situation comes up at least once in just about every dating career…and almost always with a person who you’d really like to date.

Maybe you’ve been talking about your love of Star Wars, among other things, for weeks. You’ve developed something of a connection, maybe a loose friendship. Then one day, he or she (we’ll go with she from here on out) asks you if you want to go to the new Star Wars themed restaurant for dinner on Friday. And of course you say yes.

But…has she asked you to go as a friend? Or has she asked you out on a date? Of course, the easiest option is to simply ask. But it’s also the one you’re least likely to choose. After all, if you just come out and say “Listen, Alicia…is this a date, or what?” you know that she’ll start laughing uproariously. Then she’ll call all of her friends – possibly while you sit there listening – to tell them that “funny Star Wars Kevin” thinks she’d actually date him. Pure humiliation.

So you can’t ask, obviously (though I’d actually recommend giving it a try). But how can you classify your night out? Simply watch for these subtle “It’s a date” signs…and these not-so-subtle “We’re just friends” signs:

It’s a Date:

Sign 1: He or she has made an obvious effort to make a good impression, including shaving his face (or her legs!), wearing nice clothes, and looking well-groomed overall.

Sign 2: He or she makes an effort to please you, asking your advice about things or laughing at your stories and jokes.

Sign 3: You look at each other a lot during the evening, and make plenty of eye contact.

Sign 4: You touch each other often, and when you touch or try to show interest, it elicits a positive response.

You’re Just Friends:

Sign 1: He or she talks or texts on a cell phone throughout the evening (this also seriously rude, of course – and a good warning sign that this isn’t somebody you’d want to date, anyway).

Sign 2: Your “date” talks in a casual way about other guys or girls they’re dating or mentions specifically that he or she likes somebody else. Or, worse, has a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Sign 3. He or she is sloppy, casual, and doesn’t care too much what you think. If your date shows up slovenly, chances are, it’s not a date.