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	<title>Comments on: How to Dump Him as Gently as Possible</title>
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	<link>http://www.planjam.com/weblog/2008/07/06/how-to-dump-him-as-gently-as-possible/</link>
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		<title>By: Jim</title>
		<link>http://www.planjam.com/weblog/2008/07/06/how-to-dump-him-as-gently-as-possible/comment-page-1/#comment-36476</link>
		<dc:creator>Jim</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:46:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.planjam.com/weblog/?p=392#comment-36476</guid>
		<description>This article is totally wrong.

Tell him the ***truth*** so he can accept it and move on.  Nobody wants to deal with &quot;what ifs&quot;.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This article is totally wrong.</p>
<p>Tell him the ***truth*** so he can accept it and move on.  Nobody wants to deal with &#034;what ifs&#034;.</p>
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		<title>By: LC</title>
		<link>http://www.planjam.com/weblog/2008/07/06/how-to-dump-him-as-gently-as-possible/comment-page-1/#comment-22475</link>
		<dc:creator>LC</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 05 Aug 2008 09:39:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.planjam.com/weblog/?p=392#comment-22475</guid>
		<description>I agree with AB, it&#039;s not all about ego. Maybe at one time it was, but were living in the 21st century now and men are beginning to understand you more than ever before. 

This includes knowing when you are not being truthful. We know that women do this  either to spare our feelings or to avoid having to say something that&#039;s hard to say. But in my opinion the key to a fair break up is the following: Accepting that doing it honestly it is a difficult thing to do, but deciding to do it honestly anyway. 

To an intelligent man, the words &#039;It&#039;s not you, it&#039;s me&#039; or &#039;I don&#039;t have time for a relationship at the moment&#039; etc etc do one of two things:

1) Ring an alarm bell that tells us you&#039;re fobbing us off. This is bad because we spend the next few weeks/months/years wondering what the real reason was, and imagining all sorts of terrible possibilities.

2) Present us with a problem that can be worked through. For example, if you&#039;ve said &#039;I&#039;m not ready to commit&#039; the answer could most likely be &#039;Ok i&#039;ll wait until you are&#039;. This is bad because for us it&#039;s futile and for you it prolongs the break up.

So, the answer is... be honest! Explain clearly why you&#039;re leaving. Yes it&#039;s a pain in the neck to do, but it&#039;s the only way to make a clean break and it allows the man an insight into how to improve himself for future relationships and/or find someone more compatible. 

Believe me, you&#039;d be doing us a favour!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I agree with AB, it&#039;s not all about ego. Maybe at one time it was, but were living in the 21st century now and men are beginning to understand you more than ever before. </p>
<p>This includes knowing when you are not being truthful. We know that women do this  either to spare our feelings or to avoid having to say something that&#039;s hard to say. But in my opinion the key to a fair break up is the following: Accepting that doing it honestly it is a difficult thing to do, but deciding to do it honestly anyway. </p>
<p>To an intelligent man, the words &#039;It&#039;s not you, it&#039;s me&#039; or &#039;I don&#039;t have time for a relationship at the moment&#039; etc etc do one of two things:</p>
<p>1) Ring an alarm bell that tells us you&#039;re fobbing us off. This is bad because we spend the next few weeks/months/years wondering what the real reason was, and imagining all sorts of terrible possibilities.</p>
<p>2) Present us with a problem that can be worked through. For example, if you&#039;ve said &#039;I&#039;m not ready to commit&#039; the answer could most likely be &#039;Ok i&#039;ll wait until you are&#039;. This is bad because for us it&#039;s futile and for you it prolongs the break up.</p>
<p>So, the answer is&#8230; be honest! Explain clearly why you&#039;re leaving. Yes it&#039;s a pain in the neck to do, but it&#039;s the only way to make a clean break and it allows the man an insight into how to improve himself for future relationships and/or find someone more compatible. </p>
<p>Believe me, you&#039;d be doing us a favour!</p>
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		<title>By: AB</title>
		<link>http://www.planjam.com/weblog/2008/07/06/how-to-dump-him-as-gently-as-possible/comment-page-1/#comment-21667</link>
		<dc:creator>AB</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Jul 2008 08:36:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.planjam.com/weblog/?p=392#comment-21667</guid>
		<description>This is all focused on ego to the exclusion of heartache.  The kicked-in-the-stomach feeling of getting dumped is as real for men as for women. It&#039;s really not all about ego.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This is all focused on ego to the exclusion of heartache.  The kicked-in-the-stomach feeling of getting dumped is as real for men as for women. It&#039;s really not all about ego.</p>
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