PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

I think women the world over should send the creators of Sex in the City a few million thank-you notes. No, not for making women think that we should all be able to spend $600 on a pair of shoes (I’m certainly not!). But for introducing characters like Samantha Jones, who look at sex the way a man does: as something they have a right to want, that they shouldn’t for a second be ashamed of.

Unfortunately, though, a simple TV show (and a successful movie, of course!) can’t totally change a bias based on centuries of behavior. And for a long time to come, women who enjoy sex – especially casual sex – might still to worry about their reputation. That is, if they want to.

Good Reasons to Worry

While I’m a total advocate of (safe) sexual freedom for both sexes, I will admit that there are times when a woman (or, hey, a man) should worry about her sexual reputation. The biggest of these? Religion, of course. If you have deep religious beliefs or are part of a close-knit religious community, what people think about your reputation will have a big effect on how they treat you – and how you feel about yourself.

Another good reason to worry about your reputation is if you want to be taken seriously by potential partners. If you’ve developed a reputation for wanting only sex from a man (or being very easy to get into bed), when you’re looking to turn a date into a partner, it might be difficult. With some guys, “who’ll buy the whole cow when you’re giving the milk away for free?” is unfortunately true.

Better Reasons not to Worry

The biggest one? Because men don’t! If men can sleep around, well…so can us women. Sure, most women see sex differently from men, and often develop a deeper emotional connection from doing the deed, but…sometimes, just like men, women just want to get laid. Sex can be just as simple and straight forward for women as it is for men…and it should be allowed to be so.

Another reason not to worry about your reputation is that you shouldn’t have to. And in order to help the world progress to a place where women aren’t judged under such a harsh double standard, there have to be women out there who don’t apologize for what they want. And for what they do.

Last of all? The sort of people who are going to call you names for doing something you enjoy that doesn’t hurt anybody are not people you want in your life anyway. So live free, baby! (Just do it safely!)