planning mode
dating scene
Post Count: 51
Tuesday, July 15th, 2008
Categories: Advice For Women, Attraction, Dating Advice
When I'm talking about this subject, I always feel like I'm treading over dangerous ground. Because I'm a girl who does like nice guys…and I know that other women want men to treat them decently, too. But here's something else that I think is true for most women: while we say that we want a nice guy to treat us like a princess and buy us flowers and worship us…we're kind of, well…lying. And most of us don't even realize it.
I'm a feminist, and believe that we women are amazing and strong and able make our own choices equally to (or, hey, better than) men. But I also believe that, like men, we women are subject to our biology. Women have 200,000 years of evolution – and of gender roles – behind us to tell us what to look for in a man. And those 200,000 years of human biology aren't wiped away by the recent changes in the roles men and women play in society…they just can't be.
Deep down, most women want a strong, decisive, confident man – the type of man that would have kept us safe thousands of years ago. And while this is an instinct that most women can – and do – overcome in order to have relationships with good, sweet, considerate men that stimulate them intellectually…it's still an instinct that dictates our reactions to men.
What Nice Guys Do Wrong
It's good to be a nice guy…really, it is! Because women do want to be treated with consideration and kindness. But there's one big mistake that you "nice guys" make when you approach a woman: you try to be the "dote on us hand and foot" guy that we women are always saying we want…instead of the nice-but-strong guy that we actually want. And you end up looking like a wimp while you're at it. Sorry to sound harsh, guys…but no woman likes a wimp.
But how do you treat a woman nicely without looking like a wimp? Be confident, be decisive, and be strong.
For instance, out of a desire to be polite (and because you really want to go out with her!), some men often supplicate to women. You bow and scrape and say, very politely, "Is it okay if I ask you out on a date sometime?" And the answer is often no. Because the right approach – even if most women aren't willing to admit it – is a strong and casual confidence that is, for many of us, irresistible in an indefinable, animal way.
Try this instead: "Hey, some friends and I are playing volleyball near my house next Friday night. You should come, too."
The truth is, biology has a lot to do with how women react to men (and, of course, vice versa). So while being a jerk is never going to get you ahead with women, considering the biology that goes into relationships will. The best thing to do? Combine what women say they want with what their instincts tell them to look for. It might just give you a little boost next time you want to catch a woman's interest.
(On January 1st, 2009 at 1:14 am)
women are fucking evil lying conniving creatures that corrupt men souls,has been the sam since adam and eve,if you want to lose focus quick,and lose yourself date a woman,they are good for one thing,and hate to break it to you my hand is better,doesnt talk back or cause kaoss,plus a dirty hole,never is satisfied ,cunts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(On January 1st, 2009 at 10:43 am)
LOL, Feminists are idiots…
Look at the writer of this article. She admits that Women are liars, but yet, that Women can make choiced equally or even better than Men?
Bullshit! That's absurd.
If women don't even realize when they are lying, how could they realize if they are making a good choice? Because most of them never do anyways.
Actually, Evolution evidence shows that Women are HIGHLY unevolved from Men in this day, and even the Feminist and Sexual Revolutions have left them farther behind in Evolution compared to Men than ever before.
Feminists and Western Women are Pathological Liars.
In the upcoming new Age of Aquarius that we will be entering, a lot of Women will reject evolving with the new age, and will inevitibly need to die out. And, the Women who do evolve and create new offspring will be of the most evolved, closest to the divine, etc.
Jason
(On January 3rd, 2009 at 2:42 pm)
Right, from what I observe women arent attracted to most men. Sure, most of us get treated like crap. They are however attracted to the successful ones, ie tall, good looking, groomed for big success in sports or business. The trouble probably comes when all the males who dont fit into that category think they too will get something from women. The sad fact is that it aint going to happen. Just let it play out; let the successful men (lucky?) men create the families and pass on their genes so women will stop complaining so much.
(On February 2nd, 2009 at 9:44 pm)
Joe – And you wonder why you can't find a good woman?
Jason – Please show me the evidence that evolution was slower in women. This cannot possibly be the case as men make up half the genes of any human being. A species evolves together. Plain and simple.
Thomas – It's true. Success, confidence, and ambition are sexy to a lot of people. Perhaps you just aren't finding the right woman to appreciate your endearing characteristics? Don't give up hope.
(On February 5th, 2009 at 4:34 pm)
Dis maynot be related to the above discussion but y d hell are women so complicated….
"And you end up looking like a wimp while you're at it",,wow what do u wanna convey by dis line,,,women want "nice" men who care for them etc etc,,and at the same time dat aint impress them,,,CONFUSED Man :O
(On February 6th, 2009 at 9:08 am)
Mike,
Women are really not all that complicated, you just need to lie to American Women and keep them on their toes wondering about what you are, who you are, and what you are up to in life, because it makes them draw attraction to you when they can't figure you out and if you remain a mystery to them.
Remember that, Women aren't even sure what they want themselves half the time, so it would be impossible for them to know what they want in a man all of the time, and their needs/desires are ever-evolving, and ever-changing day-to-day, sometimes minute-to-minute.
The more a woman learns about a man, the less interest they eventually have in that man.
Most Women internally have very low self-esteem, and you need to appeal to their low self-esteem by making subtly making them feel less like a person, and making them feel hopelessly dependent upon you in certain ways, and make it so that they feel they have to struggle and compete with other Women to have your attention. It is best not to make Western Women your #1 priority, but at least make them 2nd priority in your life, and this is what keeps them interested and sticking around.
Women have completely taken the path to stopping their evolution compared to men in this era, and one particularly fact of that is because Women do not know how to go about life without lying, even if it's only about their age, and even if they have no reason too. And often they lie because of their low self-esteem, often because "They think a man would make fun of them if they told the truth about something…"
See, when a man lies, in most cases he doesn't lie irrationally (unless he has a drug or emotional problem), he would lie because he needs to in order to get something, rather than speculating or making up things as he goes along to get what he wants.
But even traditionally honest men like myself, know for a fact that the only way you can get anywhere with western women is by lies, so what do you want to do if you want to get laid or have someone fun around? You have to lie, it's the unfortunate dissapointing fact of this world, but, nonetheless it's the truth of it.
Women lie and self-deny things even to themselves just to keep themselves happy, or to avoid conflict… Does that give you the picture at all now?
Again, this is mainly only true with western women for the most part. Women from other countries are very different, and actually follow their biological instincts and look for men who are honest and in for a long-term situation.
Women from Russia, Ukraine, Poland, and even Filipina girls treat men a LOT different. They are very cultured and well-mannered, and they are raised in a very family-oriented, positive mindset, where they understand success and reward is determined by choosing a virtuous man and taking care of their man. It is often in the nature of these women to be unsatisfied unless they can make their man always feel at home and relaxed, many of them will cook you dinner and offer mutual support.
It's the mentality from the British/Western Feminism and Materialism which is what infests the minds of Women and has been drawing them away from even being attracted to Men.
So, that's my point.
(On February 11th, 2009 at 12:10 am)
I couldn't agree more with Jason. Life experience has told me that western women need to be lied too in order to get anywhere with them.
(On April 9th, 2009 at 6:03 am)
It's mostly true, you have to put on an act to make women attracted to you. You get places with women by being yourself too, but you have to work harder. I know because I've been doing it both ways. I read some immoral books about secrets to attracting women and those mystery techniques work on pretty much all of them. My soul is depressed by what makes women tick ~ I act like a douchebag and now I have every woman interested in me. They like if you bust their chops and be mysterious. And now I can't stop acting that way cause it works so well – it's like drugs. I wish I could go back to being pure and clean of heart and eventually I'd attract a real woman. Now I am addicted to these evil sexpots we call modern women and feminists.
(On April 15th, 2009 at 8:45 am)
I am always attracted to bad boys… but when it comes to a relationship I prefer a good boy.
(On July 20th, 2009 at 1:08 pm)
It's unfortunate that there are so many women out there that fall for the asshole type of guy. Many women do not appreciate when a guy is nice to them… they see that as a sign of weakness, which I completely fail to understand. But do not despair, guys, there are plenty of women out there that appreciate a quality man when they see one. Unfortunately, there are too many idiots out there doling advice that it's better to be a douche to women to get their attention. |If that's the kind of women you want, then by all means, go for it. But then don't complain when they turn around and give you the finger when you start being real with them. Just be yourself, and smile! Confidence and a great smile go a long way!!
(On July 20th, 2009 at 2:32 pm)
I would like to add that women like Karen Talavera only help to promote this ideology that to get a woman, treat her like shit, which is completely wrong. While I agree that there may be women like that out there, I also know plenty of dudes that go for girls that treat them like dirt, so it's not a matter of gender; it's a matter of personal preference. If being shoved around tickles someone's balls, if they equate masochism with love, then that's something they have to deal with. And I sense that a lot of the guys hating on women on this post may have that preference.
(On August 6th, 2009 at 1:02 pm)
The "nice guys finish last" stereotype isn't even true! Look at the research examples cited on wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy
It's my experience that most men who blame their relationship troubles on the idea that they are "nice guys" actually suffer from other issues; like poor self-confidence. The fact that they place external blame on the women who reject them is a red flag that they have relationship issues to cope with before they can enter into a healthy relationship.
People are or are not attracted to each other for a myriad of other reasons, too. Maybe she doesn't feel you have common interests or values. Maybe she doesn't have chemistry with you. How can you reduce the numerous features of attraction to "well, she just doesn't like nice guys"? Look a little deeper, pal.
Mentally healthy men and women are attracted to people who have healthy self-esteem AND who are nice to them. If they aren't, they probably are not mentally healthy.
I don't want a guy who treats me like dirt and I don't want a guy who puts me on a pedestal. Both extremes suggest problems that prohibit a healthy relationship. A good relationship is balanced, fair and requires compromise from both people to work.
Any advice that suggests you should cover your true feelings and avoid being your true self is poor advice. How can you fall in love with someone you don't even know? You'd only be falling in love with an ideal, not a person.
(On September 21st, 2009 at 1:31 pm)
well, all these points are very good points indeed. Some women are just plain into "bad boys" because they get the attention and things that they want, even though they get treat like shit. I've seen cases where a girl's bf would treat her bad, hit her, etc., and then there is another guy that treats her nice. But she lies to the "good" guy and keeps going back to the guy who beats her up…why? I have no fucken clue why. yea, maybe they are tough, have a gang behind them to back them up, so the girl feels more secure? whatever. but there are also woman who make "good" choices out there. Dont get me wrong, every person is "unique", no two person are a like. Relationships between a male and female depends on a lot of things, we all just can't go on talking shit about each other. I'm not supporting anything above by saying what I say here, just simply saying that I understand what all these guys are saying, why they get angry and all that shit. Heck, sometimes i feel like just going outside with a fucken huge ass speaker system and yell out "FUCK BITCHES!". But yea, not all women are bad, and definitely not all women are good.
I just simply believe that, if you want a real relationship, be yourself. Don't act cool or be someone else if around the person you want to "date" or have the relationship with. If you want to just f*ck around with all the b*tches out there, then yea, act like someone "cool". Girls, you dont want to get hurt emotionally do you? And guys don't neither. If you just want to fuck around with each other…it's your choice…there are many things out there that could happen people if you hurt someone and they want revenge. Life is complicated isn't it….
(On November 2nd, 2009 at 9:10 am)
Women want one type–successful-attractive-type A….those who say differently lie. women are shallow-matterialistic-superficial mostly. sad. it will get worse.
(On January 19th, 2010 at 7:42 pm)
I'm sick and tired of American women. Most are
materialistic and very self- centered. They are
spoiled rotten by their parents and by the time
they start dating they expect even more from a man. Lying and cheating also play a part, a huge
part. It always comes down to this with women,
HOW MUCH BULLSHIT IS A MAN WILLING TO PUT UP
WITH to either date her or to keep the so called relationship going. American women are almost all prostitutes in one form or another.
Unfortunately TV has a big influence on what
women expect of a man. As a man who used to treat the women in my life very well I learned
the hard way. NEVER AGAIN! Do I have a chip on my shoulder? Goddamn right I do! This is NO
COUNTRY FOR NICE GUYS. Anytime a woman says she
wants a nice guy she's almost always full of shit!
(On January 20th, 2010 at 7:53 pm)
HENRY,
I'm totally with ya on that man…
It's true… The parents, especially the baby-boomer ones, and our Media and Textbooks which are run and controlled by the "Yids" influence the ideas through their heads… If you notice, all American Women (mostly) have this sense that they are automatically Entitled to anything and everything they want, and have no sense of being Accountable, or Responsible for anything, or even have any perception of money or where money comes from which may supply and sustain their habits…
The men who endlessly buy drinks for women at the bar for free are only feeding this cause. I "only" buy drinks for women once/if they've earned my respect.
We live in an age where Women feel that the Men must submit and bow down to them… But, the way it used to be was that Women were eager to find a way they can capture a Man who will want them and stay faithful to them to raise a healthy family, and allow them to nest securely, etc. It isn't that way anymore.
These women are infintely psychopaths, and they expect "you" my friend, to bow down to them.
I'm 27 now, and I've been single for over 5 years as it is… Have a few dates every now and then, but almost every woman I've come across is worthless.
Keep on doing what you do man, don't change for these bottomless pit whores that are infinitely greedy, don't apologize to them EVER, and do not stroke their perverted egos.
Jason
(On January 20th, 2010 at 7:56 pm)
It's gonna get a lot worse here in America, too… Just watch and wait… All these new girls going to college, and for what kind of careers? Sociology and Social Workers? Psychology!? In this Economic Collapse we are going through, 82% of the layoffs are Men, the rest are Women…
The Women are going to keep getting more and more selfish even though they have become the new Breadwinner… But even though they have attained their desire to be "equal" to us Men, no matter what we do, we are gonna "always" be expected to contribute more to them… More of what we don't even have already…
It will be getting very interesting very soon! Wait till you see what kind of times are in store for this country and the world!
There will definitely be a civil war…
Jason
(On January 31st, 2010 at 10:00 pm)
I am sorry to see a lot of negative things being said here, I have nothing against men and I do not lie, or pretend to be something I am not, I don't want money or prestige. I want a man who loves me and I love him.
Sounds dumb but I recently lost a man I dearly loved who was very abusive to me emtionally.
All of the men were I met, but I don't men bash and women have their issues too.
I do not abuse my partner and always have respect for them.
And no one should lie, if you have something to say that you have to lie, then why be together in the first place if you cannot be honest?
I have a lot to learn, and I don't always make the right choices but I am not mean or lie to my partner and everything they do I appreciate.
I am my own person but others have rights too.
So not all women are liars gold diggers or game players.
I am not
(On February 15th, 2010 at 11:19 pm)
Trouble is, what if you're the type of guy who's outdoorsy, adventurous, cooks gourmet food, is flexible in his tastes, is highly motivated in his creative endeavors, is educated, well-traveled, has ambitions for the future AND is kind, attentive, and passionate (and really good in bed), without being one of the "doting wimps" as you put it, and STILL gets dumped by women, who can't even offer an explanation for why the "spark died"? This is a mystery that haunts me and a good number of my male friends.