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Dating is supposed to be fun, right? You meet new people, do new things, have new conversations…but the truth is, all that "new" can get old pretty quickly. Especially when you've been single for a long time. Sound familiar? You may just have dating fatigue.
Dating fatigue isn't a disease…but it can sure feel like one. You work hard to get out there and meet somebody new. You catch the right guy's eye or get a yes from the right girl. You go on a first date…then you chat, text, email, talk on the phone, and flirt. You try to get the relationship gassed up and on the road. Then, the budding baby relationship fizzles out and dies, or goes spectacularly wrong. And you're right back where you started off. Do not pass "Go," do not collect $200. It happens again and again…no wonder you get tired!
Why Dating Fatigue Sets In
But dating fatigue isn't only about repetition. It's also about disappointment. When you go on a date with somebody new, you start the relationship off with an idea of what you want. A list of the traits your perfect boyfriend or girlfriend will have. When this new guy or girl doesn't have all of what you're looking for, you compromise. Then you compromise again. You look for the tiniest spark that this could turn into something good, something real.
And you're disappointed over and over again. You begin to despair that the right person will never come along, but you keep on dating because, well…you never know. The perfect guy or girl could be the very next person you date, right? Wrong. Because it seems like he or she never is.
Avoiding Dating Fatigue
If you've been experiencing dating fatigue, reading all of that stuff above was probably pretty depressing. Sorry about that. But while you're never going to be able to prevent feeling disappointment completely, there are ways you can date without getting that hopeless feeling of dating fatigue.
First, set yourself up to expect reality. Look at the scope of what you want and understand that it's going to be difficult to get it. You want a life partner – or at least somebody with the potential to be one. A person whose tastes and ideas are compatible with yours, who stimulates you mentally and physically, and who you could see yourself spending your life with. A pretty tall order! So it's important to go into each date expecting that it will be tough. Sure, you should be optimistic, but if you pin big hopes on each long-shot of a date, you're going to be worn out in no time.
And this leads me to the second, and even more effective, way to keep from getting too sick of the dating game. Take it easy! If you don't go into every date hoping and expecting to find your soul mate, it's much easier to relax and have fun. Live in the moment of every date and get to know each person you spend time with as a person – not as a potential soul mate.
If you learn to relax and just have fun with dating, you'll find yourself a lot more resilient towards the process. Plus, when you take the pressure off of potential relationships, it helps you to get to know the person you're dating in a more real way – not just though the prism of what you want in a partner. And this can make it a lot easier to develop a real connection…and a real relationship.
