PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

The Rebounder. Catching lots of rebounds in basketball is a great thing. In life, however, it's another story – rebounders can really get you hurt. A rebounder is a person who is looking for a light relationship after a difficult break up, but doesn't necessarily know it. They get attached quickly, intensify the relationship, then realize that a) they're single now and want to date around, or b) you're not really what they want. And you're left out in the cold wondering what happened.

Like jealousy-ridden daters, rebounders are easy to spot. Generally, they have just left a long term relationship, and are wild with freedom – like a dog released from a cage. If your partner's declarations of love and devotion are accompanied by a wild eyed smile, it's time to wonder if they're feelings for you are real, or just a result of their new-found freedom.

The Habitual Cheater. The habitual cheater is probably the most likely of all my dating villains to break your heart. Generally fun, flirtatious, and easy to be with, the habitual cheater seems perfect on the outside. It's when this person tries to commit that things get hairy. The habitual cheater cheats either because they feel they're "wired" to cheat, or because they're afraid of true commitment, and are looking to sabotage their relationship.

Spotting the habitual cheater is, unfortunately, rather difficult. They look just like you and me. The best thing is to keep in mind that if someone you're dating seems too good to be true (or seems to have a roaming eye) they probably are.

The Jealousy-Ridden. Everybody feels a little possessive about their boyfriend or girlfriend from time to time. But it's when that jealously gets out of hand that it's time to worry. The overly possessive or jealous partner is especially dangerous – they have an ability to break your spirit in a way that other dating villains cannot. And it's what most of them aim to do, whether they admit it or not. Because their own insecurities are so deep, possessive daters feel that, deep down, you don't want to be with them – even if they seem confident on the outside. The jealousy-ridden dating villain is also the most likely to be violent.

Spotting an overly possessive partner is pretty easy – even early on in the relationship. They will ask more than the normal number of questions about where you are, what you're doing, and who with. They'll make disparaging comments about you – watch out, as these often come in the form of "harmless" jokes – in order to keep you down. If your partner wants to know where you are at all hours of the day, chances are they're a jealous dater.

The Liar. Nobody, of course, is 100% virtuous, and almost all of us tell a lie or two from time to time – even to the people we claim to love best. But when lies become so tangled up with the truth that you can't pull them apart with a pair of tweezers, you're in a whole different territory: the territory of the liar. Though immensely frustrating, the liar is a rather sad villain in the land of dating: they lie not because they want to hurt or confuse you, but because they ache so deeply for approval that they can't stand the idea of telling you the truth about who they are. But while it's good to feel sympathy for a liar, believe me when I say you don't want to wrap your life up with theirs.

While it is possible to spot a liar early-on, they tend to hide well in plain sight. If you tend to trust people right off, you may have attracted a liar and not even realize it. But if somebody you're dating is full of outlandish stories that contradict themselves when you ask clear-cut questions, chances are they're spinning you a fairy tale. And they're the villain in this particular story.