PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

You meet somebody who seems like just what you want. They're good-looking, funny, intelligent, and share a lot of your interests. The only problem is…they don't feel the same way about you. Or if they do, it doesn't translate into the physical attraction you feel for them. Having strong feelings for somebody who doesn't share them is painful - and it happens to all of us.

When you have this kind of person in your life, they can seem nearly impossible to get over. You know, deep down, that the situation probably won't change, but it's hard to move on and take a chance with somebody new - and, admit it, less desirable. After all, you've already found the perfect person…anything else would feel like settling.

While it's perfectly natural to feel this way (and I think we all probably have at some point), it's not a healthy point of view. If you have your eye on somebody who is attached or uninterested, it's possible that you're letting it get in the way of your future happiness. This sound like you? Here are a few hints that you might be letting that "perfect" man or woman get in the way of finding an even better one.

You compare others to them. When you go on dates, you constantly compare the person you're with to the person you wish you were with. "So-and-so would make a better joke here," or "So-and-so would know what movie I'm quoting from." And, of course, they never measure up - because you don't want them to. If you find yourself constantly comparing the people you date to that "perfect" man or woman, it's time to get some distance.

You don't give many chances. Sure, it's natural to compare the people in your life to one another. But if you have a checklist that somebody you date has to mark off in order to meet the standards set by that "perfect" guy or girl, you're being unfair. While it's important not to settle for somebody who can't make you happy, there's no real way to know just what that is. If you never give somebody a chance to impress you just because he or she is not that "special person," you'll never meet a special person of your own.

The idea of dating makes you feel hopeless. If dating feels like a useless endeavour because you can't have what you want, it's time to deny your inner depressive and do exactly what you don't want to: go on dates. The less you feel able to connect to dates because you're pining over an unrequited love (or like), the more you need to get out there and meet new people.

If, out of hopelessness, you seclude yourself from the opposite sex, you'll never get a chance to gain some perspective. The more time you spend with the opposite sex - whether as friends or potential partners - the more you'll realize that there are plenty of great people out there. You just have to be open to what makes them special. And in the meantime, you'll have a lot more fun than you would sitting around and pouting on your own.