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All of us have times in our lives when we're feeling a bit blue. And because situational depression is such a common thing, many people don't even realize that they suffer from chronic depression – or know how to recognize it in the ones they love. If you're in a relationship with somebody with chronic depression, that relationship can suffer and even end as a result of the disorder…without either party really understanding what went wrong.
Warning Signs of Chronic Depression
There are several different kinds of depression out there. There is situational depression, which is temporary. There's major depression, which is a dramatic depressive episode. And there is chronic depression, when a person has an inability to truly take joy from day to day life. And while a major warning sign of chronic depression is, of course, evidence of that inability to experience joy, there are plenty of smaller warning signs, as well. These include:
Your partner focuses on distractions. People with chronic depression tend to search for escape. Some avoidance mechanisms might be television, the Internet, video games, even food.
Your partner develops addictions. Another common symptom of chronic depression is an addictive personality. Watch for overuse of alcohol, drugs, food, work, etc., as these can all function as avoidance mechanisms.
When You Think Your Partner's Depressed
While dating somebody with chronic depression can be difficult, there are things you can do to ease the load, both on yourself and on your boyfriend or girlfriend (or spouse). Following some of the steps below may help you to inject some joy back into your relationship.
1. Talk to a doctor or counselor. Perhaps what you see as depression is simply your contrasting personalities. Suggest that your partner seek a professional opinion about his or her state of mind.
2. Exercise together. Exercise is a mood regulator. If you find that your partner often feels depressed or down, make more time to exercise together. Exercising releases endorphins and elevates one's mood. It's also a good way to spend quality time together reinforcing your relationship. Hey, and it's healthy for you to.
3. Go out together. If your partner tends to shut him or herself up at home, one of the best things you can do is go out together. Isolation only exacerbates the problem, while being with others pulls your partner out of his or her shell and releases mood-elevating endorphins.
4. Create anticipation. One thing you can do to make your depressed partner's life more joyful is to make it more exciting. Plan events that your partner will enjoy, and create as much positive anticipation for those events as you can. If you always give your partner something to look forward to, depression may have a harder time taking hold. Also, encourage your partner to feel anticipation actively – changing his or her thinking can be a big first step in overcoming depression.
5. Consider medication. While the thought of going on anti-depressants may make your partner a little nervous, you may want to encourage him or her to consider it. The effectiveness of anti-depressant medications varies from patient to patient, but many depressives see dramatic results in their mood and overall happiness.
