PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

When you're in a happy, healthy relationship, it's like the world is your oyster. And you, well…want to share your oyster with your friends.

Hmm. Since the oyster metaphor is getting a little gross, I'll put it simply: when you've found the right person for you, you tend to think you know who is right for your friends, too. And while your heart is probably in the right place, setting your friends up on dates isn't always a great idea…especially when you don't go about it the right way.

1. Choose through their eyes. Sure, you may have an old friend that you're amazed hasn't been snapped up yet. But just because you think they're the best thing since sliced octopus doesn't mean your friend will. Before setting anybody you care about up with somebody you know, be sure you're judging them as your friend would - not as you do.

2. Allow some mystery. Even if you know just about everything there is to know about the friends you're setting up…don't spill it all. Allow them to get to know each other in a more natural, low pressure way. And that means allowing there to be a little but of mystery between them. If you have a hilarious "diarrhea on the roller coaster" story to tell about your best friend, don't tell it to the person you're setting him or her up with.

Unless, that is, you want to embarrass the heck out of your friend…which I suppose has an entertainment value all its own.

3. Mind your own business. When you set up two people you know on a date, you kind of feel like Dr. Frankenstein. You feel like you are creating something…and you have visions of being showered with thanks at their wedding playing through your head. But avoid being obnoxious about requesting details. If your friend wants to gush about the date, let them. But if they want to keep quiet, mind your own business until they're ready. You've already done your part. Now it's time to back away.

4. Ready yourself for disappointment. We've all been set up on disastrous dates by our friends. So there's a real chance that your friends aren't half as excited about this meeting as you are. And there's also a real chance that they'll want to bring you salmonella-infused leftovers from the restaurant to thank you for a hellish date. After all, you can never predict what will happen.

So put aside your wedding speech planning and leave your triumphant screams of "It's alive!" until your sure things are working out. As long as you use a light hand in setting up your friends, you may be able to avoid having them hate you forever.