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Post Count: 5
Friday, December 12th, 2008
Categories: Advice For Men, Advice For Women, Relationship Advice
Compatibility is an important aspect of any relationship. When two people are compatible, there is a good indication that they have enough things in common that their relationship has a strong chance of enduring for the long haul. Every couple has differences, arguments, and conflicts and when these become the prominent factor of the relationship, the future can suddenly take a fast detour south. Making sure that you have certain areas of your personality or thinking in common can help prevent those differences from overriding your relationship. Here are four areas, or four signs that you and your partner have enough personality or character traits in common to overcome any hardships that you might face in the future.
First, it is important to have similar interests in sexual appetite. If one partner has a very strong sex drive, and the other doesn’t there can be serious problems in the future. Though it might be uncomfortable to talk about, it is a good idea to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to the area of sex. When both partners have the same expectations in the area of sex, they have overcome a number of future problems that could cause great strain on the relationship.
Another area where a couple should look for signs of compatibility is in the amount of energy spent on daily activities. If one partner is a couch potato while the other enjoys mountain climbing, there is good indication that the relationship is headed for serious difficulties. Being a couch potato isn’t bad in itself, and if you are the type that prefers staying inside watching movies, that doesn’t mean you are doomed to be alone. However, it does mean that if you find a partner with the same energy level that you have, you’ll have a better shot at a long lasting relationship, then trying to pursue a relationship with Mr. or Mrs. Olympian. It’s never a good idea to try to fake your energy level for a relationship either. There is scientific evidence that certain people have brains that are wired for daredevil, thrill seeking experiences and others are content keeping both feet on the ground. Pretending to be more sports oriented or athletic than you are will not only work, but also it will wear you out. Be honest about your personal energy level and find a partner who you are compatible with in this area.
If you and your partner are both equally flexible, and find it easy to apologize to one another, there is a great chance your relationship will thrive. If one partner is inflexible, never gives in, or never says that he or she is sorry for their behavior, there is a great imbalance in the relationship. A truly compatible relationship is one where both partners can easily admit their wrongdoings, own up to their share of the responsibility for mistakes, and work together to move forward. If one partner is always apologizing for things the other person says or does, there is a great lack of compatibility.
Finally, you and your partner should be compatible in your outlook towards the future. You should have similar goals and dreams and have similar styles in achieving them. This doesn’t mean that you need to have similar careers or education, but it does mean that you and your partner should have similar styles for reaching your goals. Discussing your plans for the future with your partner is the best way to determine if you are compatible and share the same vision for the future. If you and your partner are compatible in these four critical areas, there is an excellent chance that your relationship will endure.
(On December 23rd, 2008 at 1:51 pm)
I am counciling a friend and your web site is very helpful and straight forward. Thanks you! Linda
(On January 4th, 2009 at 12:48 am)
my relationship is strong in three of theses areas you speak of. but i need help on the first one. being open about sex. see i think i have a stronger sex drive then my boyfriend. but i dont know what he thinks about it. he seems to withdrawal whenever i make a sexual joke or something. i dont know how to talk to him openly about sex in our relationship due to the fact he concentraits so much more on the romantic factor. we havent had sex yet but i need a way to find out how he feels about it. i dont mind waiting to have sex, but if we never do thats a problem. i want our relationship to develoup in a healthy way.
(On February 14th, 2009 at 10:11 am)
Marie,
I had a similar problem once cept i was the one that couldn't go through with it. I think i was feeling a bit shy. but the best way to go about is if you just ask… hey we have been dating for a while now… maybe we should take it to the next stage
and just do it lolz
and if it doesn't work then hmm.. discuss why not :S
(On June 15th, 2009 at 5:23 pm)
hey its been a long time sense i posted this question but your answer really helped me i just asked him and it worked. turns out he was yes, very shy. so was i and it was hard to ask but that was a long time ago, we are doing great! we are engaged and have been for awhile. that was a hard thing to get through, the whole "first time" thing but its worth it to wait and you helped me work up the nerve to just ask. so thank you.
(On November 11th, 2009 at 12:51 pm)
If you can get along well in most situations without any major disputes, well that is compatability according to me…
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(On November 21st, 2009 at 1:05 am)
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(On December 7th, 2009 at 7:57 pm)
Does love at first sight truly exist? Can you make a date fall for you? How do you know whether the person personality is compatible with you? I always ask this question to myself when I am going out with strangers aka online friends where I meet them at facebook or friendster.
(On December 30th, 2009 at 4:53 pm)
I completely agree with these, especially #1. I personally experience the non sexual compatibility and it is not fun. It is even worst when the woman sexual drive is higher than the man.
(On January 10th, 2010 at 2:01 pm)
I have a question, what about couples that have different social circles, like i like the artsy crowd and my gf likes the rnb clubs. I feel like we compromise and are at times wondering if either of us would be more suited for someone in our own circle. However i did discuss the matter with her, as we are a well "self-controlled" couple and we openly speak about matters, and she vowed that she just likes different music. But when we go out to her kind of places, maybe its just me being paranoid, but i see her fascination and how she enjoys the attention from that kinda crowd.
Thank for your kind words of wisdom, i would really appreciate some advice as this is the ONLY thing that creates anxiety in our relationship. cause she too in my circle gets the same paranoia.
(On August 30th, 2010 at 5:37 pm)
Boning is fun. If you think you can put up with the guy without getting irritated for a long period of time, just do it.
(On April 5th, 2011 at 4:01 am)
Just to add to this post, the key is to be yourself because sooner or later, if you are putting on a front to try and impress your partner that you are into the same things as him/her, you will not be able to keep the facade up forever!
(On November 18th, 2011 at 2:59 am)
I have a situation where communication is lacking big time. Every timetable partner tries to tell me something the way I interpret it is not right in his eyes. I don't use word for word what he says therefore it results in a major communication problem. For example if he says something I don't take it for face value but instead hear what I want to hear as to always be right. That is what my major issue is. It's frustrating cause every other aspect of the relationship is great. What can I do to convince him that I hear him but interpret things differently and how to make it seem ok without acting like I didn't really listen. He believes in the reality of actions are louder than words. I really want help on this so we can move forward what can I do?