PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

Deep down, we all know that dating somebody who is already married is a bad, horrible, idiotic idea. But we do it anyway! And when we're in the throes of a new relationship - especially a deliciously illicit one - it can be difficult to remember why it's such a bad idea. You're just having a bit of fun, after all. Right?
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When you first start a relationship, you're infatuated…you're in the honeymoon stage. Both of you are on your best behavior, and don't let too much of the bad stuff hang out for the other to see. So it can be difficult at the beginning of a relationship to figure out if you're dating a…well…a loser.
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The deeply passionate couple that chooses to be together against the wishes of everyone around them. The man who leaves everything in his life in order to chase after the love of a woman who has captured his heart. The passion, the intensity…the happily ever after, "love conquers all" ending. Nice, right?
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Every time I hear this famous Harry Belafonte song, it makes me think about the importance of looks in romance:

I always wondered if Belafonte was married, and if so, what his wife thought of that particular ditty! Because it seems like there’s nothing in the world worse than being considered unattractive by the opposite sex. But is that actually true? Are looks really so important? Or does personality have a greater effect on attraction in the long run?
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My last blog post was all about dumping a guy gently. Taking care of his ever-fragile ego and letting him down as easily as possible. Today is part two – dumping a girl while inflicting the smallest amount of pain possible. Being a girl myself, I’ve always thought that we ladies are more complicated than guys in this respect (and most others, come to think of it – but that’s an entirely different article). So the methods that work well with guys don’t work at all for girls…in fact, we generally want exactly the opposite.
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All of us are passive aggressive sometimes — even if we don’t want to admit it. There are just times in life when, though there’s something you don’t agree with (or something you don’t want to do), it’s just not worth it to come right out and say so. Sometimes you just want to take the easy road and avoid confrontation. Does your mother need to know how much you hate her corn casserole? Nah. You just push it around on your plate and pretend to eat it to keep the peace.
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So you’ve gone on the required number of dates, explored each other physically, and established a real mental and emotional connection. The next step? You guessed it…it’s time to go exclusive. How exciting!
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Most of the time, it’s pretty clear when you’re being asked out for a date. The guy or girl in question is pink-cheeked and nervous, and the situation makes it clear that this is about romance…not finding a new buddy who likes Star Wars as much as you do. But occasionally you can go out with somebody who either hasn’t made it clear whether or not this is a date…or, even worse, doesn’t seem to realize that you asked him or her out on a date instead of just a friendly outing.
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Ever been in a relationship where, even though the physical side of things was great (hey, even mind-blowing), you just didn’t click with your partner on a non-physical level? Of course you have – we all have (haven’t we?). This is the kind of relationship that results from letting a physical attraction take its course…and ignoring the fact that there’s no real connection. And, hey, it’s a lot of fun. Even if it’s temporary.
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Some things never change: women are always wondering when it’s the right time to get physical… and if today is “too soon”. And guys are always wondering just how to convince her that the right time was yesterday… so they’d better start getting caught up. But who’s right? When is it the right time?
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