Since you’d like to spend more time with the girl that you like on an intimate level, you’ve undoubtedly thought about asking her out on a date. Using some creative ideas can help you find out if she likes you as well as get you a date if she’s interested, without suffering outright rejection. Something that you can do is wait until you hear her mention a movie or cultural even that she is interested in attending. You can casually say something to the effect that you are interested in seeing that movie or concert, attending a museum (whatever the case may be) as well, and why not go together. By presenting it in a lighthearted, casual manner, you can determine if she’d like to spend more time with you, and not need to worry about flat out rejection. When you bring it up, make sure that you phrase the request in a manner that she will have to respond with a yes or no, or even a maybe. For example, you could say something like, “Oh, wow the new Bond movie, I didn’t know you were a fan. I am too, hey why don’t we see it this weekend?”

Another idea that you can use to find out if she’s into you or not, is ask her to kiss you. Again, this is an area where many men might become nervous or self conscious, so if you turn it into a game or playful question, you can take some of the stress out of the situation. If you have been spending a lot of time together as friends and you’d like to find out if she likes you, ask her if she’ll do something for you. When she says, “What?” Ask her if she’ll kiss you. If she says know, then laugh and change the subject. You can easily play it off as if you were joking. If she says yes, you’ll have your answer and can take the relationship to the next level.

Finally, you might want to determine whether or not she’s into you by judging her reaction when you touch her. Now this doesn’t mean to grope her, but you can put your arm around her if you are crossing a street, hold her hand while she’s talking to you, or make another gesture that can be interpreted as innocent if not reciprocated. You can tell if she becomes uncomfortable if you touch her, or if she reaches for your hand as well. When you put your arm around her, does she lean in to the embrace or pull away? By watching her responses to these and the other suggestions listed above, you can determine whether or not she is into you.

Here are ten almost surefire ways to tell.

1. He brags or shows off around you. If he catches your eye while mentioning how much money he makes, or how defined his abs are, or some other silly male thing, he's begging for you to admire him.
2. He's nervous around you. He tends to fidget and sweat, or stumble over his words when he talks to you. Do you often catch him staring in your direction, only to look quickly away when you meet his gaze? That's a pretty clear sign he's interested.
3. He listens. When you're part of the same conversational group, he stops his own conversations to listen to you talk.
4. His friends know who you are. If you don't even know the names of a guy's friends, but they know just who you are, it may very well mean that he's been talking about you.
5. He seems jealous. You catch him looking intensely in your direction, or he comes over to interrupt your conversation when you're talking to other men.
6. He's there. He tends to show up at places he thinks you'll be, or events that he has reason to think you'll attend. If you start seeing him more often than before without any discernable reason, he may very well be doing it on purpose.
7. He looks for commonalities. In conversation, he tends to search out common interests and traits, and works to bring them to your attention.
8. His friends tease him. If his friends (especially his guy friends) tease him and make pointed comments when you are there, it means he's been talking to them about how he feels about you.
9. He engages. He remembers things you say, and laughs at your stupid jokes – even though they're terribly unfunny.
10. He makes eye contact. He maintains eye contact when he talks to you.

I'm a feminist, and believe that we women are amazing and strong and able make our own choices equally to (or, hey, better than) men. But I also believe that, like men, we women are subject to our biology. Women have 200,000 years of evolution – and of gender roles – behind us to tell us what to look for in a man. And those 200,000 years of human biology aren't wiped away by the recent changes in the roles men and women play in society…they just can't be.

Deep down, most women want a strong, decisive, confident man – the type of man that would have kept us safe thousands of years ago. And while this is an instinct that most women can – and do – overcome in order to have relationships with good, sweet, considerate men that stimulate them intellectually…it's still an instinct that dictates our reactions to men.
What Nice Guys Do Wrong
It's good to be a nice guy…really, it is! Because women do want to be treated with consideration and kindness. But there's one big mistake that you "nice guys" make when you approach a woman: you try to be the "dote on us hand and foot" guy that we women are always saying we want…instead of the nice-but-strong guy that we actually want. And you end up looking like a wimp while you're at it. Sorry to sound harsh, guys…but no woman likes a wimp.

But how do you treat a woman nicely without looking like a wimp? Be confident, be decisive, and be strong.

For instance, out of a desire to be polite (and because you really want to go out with her!), some men often supplicate to women. You bow and scrape and say, very politely, "Is it okay if I ask you out on a date sometime?" And the answer is often no. Because the right approach – even if most women aren't willing to admit it – is a strong and casual confidence that is, for many of us, irresistible in an indefinable, animal way.

Try this instead: "Hey, some friends and I are playing volleyball near my house next Friday night. You should come, too."

The truth is, biology has a lot to do with how women react to men (and, of course, vice versa). So while being a jerk is never going to get you ahead with women, considering the biology that goes into relationships will. The best thing to do? Combine what women say they want with what their instincts tell them to look for. It might just give you a little boost next time you want to catch a woman's interest.

I always wondered if Belafonte was married, and if so, what his wife thought of that particular ditty! Because it seems like there’s nothing in the world worse than being considered unattractive by the opposite sex. But is that actually true? Are looks really so important? Or does personality have a greater effect on attraction in the long run?

Looks vs. Personality

We are all drawn to the people that we find physically attractive. That’s why Brad Pitt is constantly covered by the paparazzi and Tommy Lee Jones is never in the tabloids – looks really count. When we meet – no, when we see – somebody for the first time, all we have to go on is how they look. And our bodies work this way for a reason. Women are biologically programmed to want the man with the large shoulders and well-muscled, hunter’s arms. Men are likewise programmed to want the woman with the shiny hair, nicely-curved bum, and full breasts. All are symbols of health, of the ability to feed and provide.

From birth, human babies are attracted to clear glowing skin, large bright eyes, and beautifully balanced features. They react more positively to good-looking people – they look at them constantly and move more often to touch them. What does this mean? It means that our reactions to good-looking people are ingrained in all of us.

And it seems like there’s no way out.

Except that we’re not infants, nor are we apes in a zoo (even if they’re our close relatives). And while we’re never going to be physically attracted to somebody that we’re not physically attracted to (duh), we are thinking creatures with an ability to look beyond appearance and…see what we want to see.

Which is why, for those of use who aren’t totally shallow, personality plays such a big part in attraction. Everybody’s had an experience where they’ve chatted up a person who’s seemed incredibly attractive…only to find that person shallow, or idiotic, or just…not at all desirable. And for most of us, a not-great personality is a bigger deal breaker than not-great looks.

Perhaps I’m biased because I’ve always gone for geeky guys. And lots of people may disagree with me (and if you do, comment and tell me so!), but…I honestly think that, in the long run, personality plays greater part in physical attraction than looks. Because when I talk to that sexy guy in the slim jeans and cocky smile and find that he can’t string two words together, I won’t touch him with a ten-foot pole (even if he has one). But that nerdy-looking guy that has me falling off my bar stool with laughter? That’s another story.

Eventually, I started to realize that not only was I making myself miserable; I was leading the poor sap on! I can't tell you how many times guys have called me after a first date, only to realize after the 17th call I had no desire to go out with them again…

But, I digress.

What I'm trying to explain to you is simple: if a date isn't going the way you'd hoped, it's in your best interest to end it as quickly and painlessly as possible.

The last thing you want to do is be caught at the end of the night fending off an over-eager date's advances because he thought the two of you had a marvelous time (I speak from personal experience, TRUST me!)

It's really easy to tell when it's time to end a date – but not necessarily so easy to actually end it!

Let's say your date does something that offends you. I went out with a guy who took me to a Mexican food restaurant. The evening started out well enough, but when the waitress came by to take our order, he could not stop making comments about her breasts – I kid you not.

The poor woman couldn't stop blushing, and I was aghast at his behavior. That ended the date rather quickly, needless to say.

The bottom line is if your date offends you, there's no reason to believe he won't do it again. If you don't like his overall behavior, why suffer through a terrible date in the hope that it'll get better? It won't.

Even if your date doesn't offend you, it may just be simple compatibility issues. If you aren't feeling the chemistry, don't kid yourself into thinking it'll magically happen.

For example, I met a man at a coffee shop after work one day, and we immediately started talking. He asked me for a date, and I accepted – but I realized after the fact that I just wasn't that into him.

Sure, he was a nice enough guy – but there weren't any sparks!

When I met him for a movie later that week, I decided to give it a chance and see where the evening went. We watched the movie, and afterward he took me home.

Throughout the night I'd realized I just wasn't feeling him, and I'd been trying to think of a polite way to turn down another date invitation, if it came.

I got more than I'd anticipated, unfortunately! Not only did the guy try to grope me outside my home, but when I pushed him away and told him I wasn't into him, he had the gall to ask for another date anyway!

This proves my point that if you aren't feeling the chemistry upon initial contact, you never will! I should have turned down his invitation and saved both of us a lot of grief!

Ultimately, only you can decide when it's time to end a date – or when you should never accept an invitation to begin with!

Don't make yourself suffer through a boring, offensive, or otherwise lackluster date out of politeness or fear of hurting the other person. You may end up with a tricky situation on your hands if you do.

Whatever you do, don't settle for a guy you're just not that into… if you do, you won't recognize when something better comes along!

We ignore the warning signs while the sensation increases and excitedly you tell yourself this is the one and before long, you’ve slept together. Then all of a sudden things change drastically and that person becomes unavailable. After days of calling and getting no response you finally realize that the call is not coming.

After getting over the final shock of what happened, you quickly reprimand yourself and make a promise that next time, you will know better. Less than a few months later, you find yourself back in the same place and when you really stop to think about it, it’s happened to you more times then you want to admit. But how do you break this pattern?

One of the first things you should do is take a break from dating. Often before we can even evaluate what happen in the previous relationship, we move on to the next telling ourselves that the best way to heal from the last one is to find another to take their place. But when we do that we are not healing, but avoiding. When a relationship ends we need to step back and do an assessment so that we can understand why it didn’t work in the first place. And if you are the type of person that falls into bed too quickly, you need to find out the reason why.

Being attracted to someone physically is fine, but relying on that emotion when you’re hoping for a serious relationship can me detrimental. It takes time to get to know a person. No one says a relationship has to be rushed. Sometimes when it seems that everyone but you is in a relationship, we become fearful that we will never meet that someone. The fear of being lonely or even the fear of them leaving if we don’t sleep with them right away can end up being a huge problem. That’s when fear starts to take over and eventually it can beat down our self- esteem leading us to act before we think. We should never let fear become a factor.

So although this might sound a little unoriginal, step back and get to know you. Reading books on the subject or even speaking to friends whose advice you respect and who have made relationships work can be helpful. Knowing when it’s the right time is not just something we should feel from our hearts (although that is an important aspect) but knowing mentally can help the next time, be the right time.

Courtesy: Sheilah Brooks

This doesn’t mean that you have to have financial success, or make sure that everything is perfect in your life first. What it does mean is that you need to have a clear understanding of your own wants, needs, and future goals before you can successfully attract someone who can help share those goals with you.

The first rule of thumb is to be positive. It is just a simple fact that positive people attract other positive people and misery loves company. This means that if you are depressed, angry, or negative most of the time, you’ll never attract people in your life who will enhance your goals, dreams, and visions. By keeping a positive outlook on life, a smile on your face, and a good attitude, you will find that other people will want to be around you. You’ll never attract someone if you are negative or angry the majority of the time.

It may sound strange, but if you want to attract the perfect mate, you need to take care of your health. Eating right, exercising, and getting plenty of sleep can make a huge difference in your energy level, as well as your outlook on life. In fact, regular exercise and having a healthy diet plays a vital role in fighting depression, irritability, and mood swings. By taking care of your health, you’ll have plenty to offer a partner and you’ll find that they will be attracted to your vitality, energy, and zeal for life.

Learning how to listen will also ensure that you attract other people. Many of us become so wrapped up in our own lives, problems, and feelings that we forget how to listen to other people and their feelings. You may already have that perfect someone in your life, but if you stop listening to what he or she is saying, you’ll find that you’re heading towards the exit door before you even turned around to say goodbye. Listening is a vital component in communication, and without learning how to listen effectively, you’ll never be able to stay in lasting relationships.

Finally, before you can attract positive people, you need to know who you are and ensure that you have worked on your own issues. Not only do you need to make certain that your physical well-being is in order, but you should also be certain that your emotional health is stable as well. By making certain that you have all of your personal issues in order, you will be able to attract your perfect mate.

The first way to be attractive to any woman is to exude self-confidence. Women are attracted to men who are sure of themselves. From the moment you first meet until you finally say, "I do", let your relationship be one based on self-confidence. If a woman knows that you are sure of yourself, set goals and achieve them, and are the type of person who doesn’t let other people get in your way, she will be attracted to and respect your level of self-confidence. It may sound cliché, but if you want a woman to believe that you are a great catch, you must first believe it yourself, and then demonstrate it to her with your positive attitude and self-confidence.

Along with self-confidence, a man will appear more attractive to women if he has a sense of humor. Being positive, laughing at life, and just being a fun person to be with makes people want to be around you. Women find a sense of humor very appealing. Have you ever noticed how many comedians date models? Dudley Moore dated Susan Anton; David Spade has been linked to Heather Locklear and now Pamela Anderson. Their secret is humor. Women love to laugh and a man who can make a woman laugh instead of cry is valued more than gold. It’s important to remember that women are very emotional and are often more susceptible to mood swings. Women love to be surrounded by people that can help bring joy to their lives. A funny man will always find that he has plenty of women to choose from.

Finally, if you want to be attractive to a woman, learn how to treat them like gold. Being courteous, a gentleman, and treating a woman with respect will make you look like a great life partner and will allow you to shine in her eyes. However, don’t make the mistake of confusing chivalry with cowardice. Women are attracted to men who treat them with a gentle hand, but they still want a man who can handle himself around other males.

The first tip to successful flirting is knowing how and when to use your eyes. Eyes are very powerful and with a look, you can let a potential love interest know that you are interested. In fact, one of the simplest ways to flirt is to make eye contact. Whether you are in a library, on the subway, or in a club making eye contact with the person you are interested in is a great way to let them know how you feel. When making eye contact, it is recommended to try to hold his or her gaze for at least four seconds. You don’t want to appear rude or act as if you are blatantly staring at someone; this will have a negative effect and won’t accomplish your goal.

The object is to catch their gaze, lock eyes for a brief period of time, then give a smile, nod, or look away. After you successfully lock gazes, you should attempt to make eye contact again. It’s on the second eye connection that your flirting will either be a hit or miss. If on the second attempt, you find that there is no significant response, move on to another target. However, if your interest meets your gaze and gives a friendly response, relax, your flirting is a success.

Smiling is the second step in being a great flirt. Smiling lets the other party know that not only are you friendly, but you like what you are looking at. It means that you are open, pleasant, and find the other person delightful. When you make eye contact the second time, make sure to smile and see if he or she returns your smile. If so, you can rest assured your flirting may soon lead to a nice conversation.

Your body language is a powerful flirting device. One way to use your body when flirting is to make sure that you seem open. Folding your arms in front of your chest and leaning backwards away from someone indicates that you are not interested or are closing yourself off from another person. These are not good strategies to use when flirting. Instead, stand in a way where you are more inviting or open. You can rest against a wall, place one hand on your hip, or if you are in a conversation with the target of your flirting strategies, lean forward and gently place your hand on his or her arm. These movements signify that you are interested in them and are open to closer communication. By incorporating these techniques you will soon master the art of flirting.

When an individual first meets a potential love interest, the first question they usually have is whether or not the other party is interested in him or her. If the chemistry exists, then hormones will be elevated and though you may not be able to take a blood test, you can check for certain behaviors. Here are some signs that will let you know whether or not you and your person of interest have chemistry.

One of the first things that you should look for is body language. If you and your special someone have chemistry, you’ll notice that they have open body language with you. This means that they won’t cross their arms or legs as much, and when speaking with you, their body language will be more open or inviting.

When speaking with someone you’re interested in, check to see if they look you directly in the eye. You may also notice that they keep watching you when you’re in the room but not engaged in conversation. If you have body chemistry, you’ll feel it when both of you look into each other’s eyes. Failure to make eye contact during conversation is a good indicator that the other person isn’t interested. However, you should also consider the fact that some people are painfully shy, and may be extremely interested in you, yet too shy to look at you. If this is the case, you’ll notice that as soon as you leave, they are consistently following you with their eyes. They may also stutter, pause, or act nervous when they’re around you.

Another good indication that you and your love interest have chemistry is whether or not they touch you when speaking too you. Now no one appreciates inappropriate groping, however, when there is body chemistry between two people, you’ll find that the smallest touch brings an instant connection. Whether it is a tap on the arm, or holding someone’s hand, if your person of interest finds ways to touch you when speaking to you, and you respond, then there is chemistry being exchanged.