Unfortunately, many people never get to learn what their type is, until after they’ve been involved in a serious relationship, and then can use the experience to determine what definitely is not their type. However, there are certain conditions, or personality disorders, that are obvious clues that someone is dealing with personal issues that might interfere with their ability to sustain a healthy relationship. Identifying these personality types can help you avoid many difficulties in a future relationship, or at least prepare you for the amount of work that will be involved, should you choose to enter into a relationship with someone who has one of these disorders.

When a person suffers from a personality disorder they have a difficult time handling the pressures of stress that affects everyone on a daily basis. They also have a hard time managing relationships with other people and might have difficulties with family members, friends, and co-workers. Though it is impossible to look at someone and determine how his or her mind works, you can look for warning signs, or clues that someone is dealing with a personality disorder.

One of the main symptoms of a personality disorder is the inability to adjust to other people’s needs. This can have a detrimental affect on a relationship and can cause serious problems to any relationship. Personality disorders are classified into three basic categories. These are sometimes referred to as clusters and can be divided into groups A, B, and C. Group A would be those who have personality disorders that focus on odd or unusual behavior. The second cluster, Group B, focuses on very dramatic behavior that often includes severe or serious emotional outbursts, and the third cluster or Group C consists of personality disorders that are based on phobias or fearful behaviors. Here is a listing of five personality types to avoid and a brief description regarding each condition.

Paranoid Personality Disorder is associated with Cluster or Group A. The underlying basis of paranoid personality types is that they distrust the actions of other people. They often believe that other people are committing actions against them, such as being unfaithful, disloyal, or even threatening. Those who are paranoid are often very jealous of their partners and are prone to accusing them of doing things that they are innocent of.

Antisocial Personality Disorder is classified as a Group or Cluster B disorder, and is characterized by erratic behavior. Those with an antisocial personality have a difficult time showing respect for other people. They might have a history of legal issues as well as alcohol and substance abuse. Since those with this personality type often feel no remorse or guilt for their behaviors, it is impossible to have a healthy relationship with an individual with an antisocial personality.

Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by extreme high and low behaviors. This causes the individual to be unstable and often impulsive. They might even become very devoted or focused on an individual only to cut off their emotional attachment suddenly. Those who have a Borderline personality have a history of extremely troubled relationships and often have a difficult time maintaining a relationship.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is another personality type that falls under the Group or Cluster B category. People with this personality type see themselves as worthy of all admiration and adoration. They are often incapable of having healthy relationships as they seek constant admiration, are self-centered, and use other people for their own needs.

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder is classified as a Cluster C personality disorder. For those who suffer from this condition, life consists of rigid rules and routines. Spontaneity is difficult and those with OCD often set extremely high standards for themselves. They can become extremely critical of themselves and have a difficult time handling a relationship, as they struggle to make decisions and can become overly dependent on their partners.

Since you’d like to spend more time with the girl that you like on an intimate level, you’ve undoubtedly thought about asking her out on a date. Using some creative ideas can help you find out if she likes you as well as get you a date if she’s interested, without suffering outright rejection. Something that you can do is wait until you hear her mention a movie or cultural even that she is interested in attending. You can casually say something to the effect that you are interested in seeing that movie or concert, attending a museum (whatever the case may be) as well, and why not go together. By presenting it in a lighthearted, casual manner, you can determine if she’d like to spend more time with you, and not need to worry about flat out rejection. When you bring it up, make sure that you phrase the request in a manner that she will have to respond with a yes or no, or even a maybe. For example, you could say something like, “Oh, wow the new Bond movie, I didn’t know you were a fan. I am too, hey why don’t we see it this weekend?”

Another idea that you can use to find out if she’s into you or not, is ask her to kiss you. Again, this is an area where many men might become nervous or self conscious, so if you turn it into a game or playful question, you can take some of the stress out of the situation. If you have been spending a lot of time together as friends and you’d like to find out if she likes you, ask her if she’ll do something for you. When she says, “What?” Ask her if she’ll kiss you. If she says know, then laugh and change the subject. You can easily play it off as if you were joking. If she says yes, you’ll have your answer and can take the relationship to the next level.

Finally, you might want to determine whether or not she’s into you by judging her reaction when you touch her. Now this doesn’t mean to grope her, but you can put your arm around her if you are crossing a street, hold her hand while she’s talking to you, or make another gesture that can be interpreted as innocent if not reciprocated. You can tell if she becomes uncomfortable if you touch her, or if she reaches for your hand as well. When you put your arm around her, does she lean in to the embrace or pull away? By watching her responses to these and the other suggestions listed above, you can determine whether or not she is into you.

If you have low self-esteem, dating can be more than a little trying – as can relationships. When you don't believe strongly in your own worth, it's all-too-easy to create unhealthy dynamics within your relationships. Or to be unable to start a relationship at all. Fortunately, there are ways to deal with low self esteem while dating. It's all about facing the problem head-on.

Acknowledge the problem. If you've had the type of relationship problems that seem to repeat themselves over and over, your low self esteem may be causing it. Almost like alcoholism, one of the first steps in improving low self esteem is acknowledging that you have it. Because while low self esteem is patently obvious in some people, it can be hidden in others – even from themselves. A little self evaluation can go a long way.

Learn to ignore the whisper. Those of us who suffer from low self esteem are often bombarded by whispering doubts about our worth. To date and socialize successfully with low self esteem, you need to learn to block out those whispers of doubt. In other words, when your mind tells you that everybody thinks you're behaving stupidly, or that your shouldn't air your worthless opinions, or that your date is fixating on the pores in your nose, try to push it away. Recognizing that your doubts come from your low self esteem rather than from the actual feelings of the people around you is a hugely important step in learning to feel better about who you are.

Aim high. Those who suffer from low self esteem have an overwhelming pessimism about their prospects and their abilities – at least in some specific areas. Because they believe that they aren't truly worth more, and wouldn't be able to sustain anything better, those with low self esteem tend to partner up with people who will exploit them and their weaknesses. If you have low self esteem, it's important to allow yourself to aim high – even if you doubt your abilities to reach your target. Disparaging yourself and aiming low in your relationships will only open you up to being taken advantage of. And your relationship's failure will do nothing but deepen your self-doubts. It's a vicious cycle.

Work through your problems. This may fall last on my list, but it's probably the most important part of dealing with low self esteem. Your self esteem comes from somewhere – something in your childhood, or an event that left you scarred – and uncovering what that is is key. And while introspection and self-evaluation can be very helpful in tracking down the source of your low self esteem, the best thing is to speak with a professional. A counselor can help you to understand where your self esteem issues come from – and teach you the methods you should use to defeat it

Hmm. Since the oyster metaphor is getting a little gross, I'll put it simply: when you've found the right person for you, you tend to think you know who is right for your friends, too. And while your heart is probably in the right place, setting your friends up on dates isn't always a great idea…especially when you don't go about it the right way.

1. Choose through their eyes. Sure, you may have an old friend that you're amazed hasn't been snapped up yet. But just because you think they're the best thing since sliced octopus doesn't mean your friend will. Before setting anybody you care about up with somebody you know, be sure you're judging them as your friend would – not as you do.

2. Allow some mystery. Even if you know just about everything there is to know about the friends you're setting up…don't spill it all. Allow them to get to know each other in a more natural, low pressure way. And that means allowing there to be a little but of mystery between them. If you have a hilarious "diarrhea on the roller coaster" story to tell about your best friend, don't tell it to the person you're setting him or her up with.

Unless, that is, you want to embarrass the heck out of your friend…which I suppose has an entertainment value all its own.

3. Mind your own business. When you set up two people you know on a date, you kind of feel like Dr. Frankenstein. You feel like you are creating something…and you have visions of being showered with thanks at their wedding playing through your head. But avoid being obnoxious about requesting details. If your friend wants to gush about the date, let them. But if they want to keep quiet, mind your own business until they're ready. You've already done your part. Now it's time to back away.

4. Ready yourself for disappointment. We've all been set up on disastrous dates by our friends. So there's a real chance that your friends aren't half as excited about this meeting as you are. And there's also a real chance that they'll want to bring you salmonella-infused leftovers from the restaurant to thank you for a hellish date. After all, you can never predict what will happen.

So put aside your wedding speech planning and leave your triumphant screams of "It's alive!" until your sure things are working out. As long as you use a light hand in setting up your friends, you may be able to avoid having them hate you forever.

While the idea of being on your own at a party where you know very few people is scary – or, to some, horrifying – there are some things you can do to overcome your fear. With the right state of mind and some of these easy tips, you can turn awkwardness into adventure. And maybe meet somebody special while you're at it.

1. Lower your expectations. Don't put pressure on yourself to meet the man or woman of your dreams, make lifelong friends, or even impress people. If you set your expectations on "I'm just gonna have fun," chances are you will. Decide what your expectations for the night are, and don't worry about shooting any higher. "Meet one new person" is perfectly reasonable – and perfectly doable.

2. Work on your confidence. While getting ready to go to a party or event where you will know very few people, take some time to boost your confidence. No, you're not perfect. But you have worth all your own, and your own separate attributes that make you special. You're not a kid who must define him or herself by a narrow standard set by others – so don't convince yourself that you are.

3. Mingle. When you're alone at a party, it can be tempting to want to stand in the corner and avoid all those scary strangers. But if you do that, everybody at the party will, well, stay a stranger. Wander around, smile at people, and keep moving – don't hide out next to the lonely cheese tray.

4. Search for interesting people. Remember, going to a party isn't about proving to others than you're fun – it's about having fun yourself. So look for people that catch your interest, either romantically or platonically. When a conversation or a person piques your interest, try to involve yourself. Sound like too much? Then at least stand nearby and show that you're interested and approachable – a smile can work wonders.

Remember, you're at this party for you – not them. So if a person or conversation seems interesting to you, assert yourself. You won't impress anybody by standing around with butterflies in your stomach.

5. Move on. You may find somebody who seems interesting, only to enter into small talk and find it, well…excruciating. Just because you've met and know one person at the party doesn't mean you need to stick by their side. Keep mingling, pretending you're confident, and striking up conversations. If you make the effort, you may just transform yourself from wallflower to belle of the ball. Or at least have a fun few hours.

The truth is, metrosexual men catch a lot of flack for caring so much about their appearance. But the real question is…do they deserve it? As always, the answer is more complicated than a simple yes or no. There are lots of great things about metrosexual men – and so lots of great things about dating them. But there are also some negative things to watch out for. Read on for some of the major pros and cons of dating a metrosexual guy.

Pros

Looks great. The biggest one goes first, right? Metrosexual men are generally very good looking. They care about the clothing they wear and how it looks on them. They care for their skin. Best of all, metrosexual men take very good care of their bodies – they eat well, they're active, and they work out. And this makes it so they look even better with their clothes off than they do with them on. Metrosexual men are eye candy at its finest.

Shares your interests. Dating a metrosexual man can also be a lot of fun, as they will share more of your "girly" interests than your average heterosexual man. A metrosexual will be able to talk to you about skincare or fashion in a way that most men cannot. And, as a bonus, a metrosexual guy probably won't spend the whole afternoon whining and tapping his foot impatiently when you go shopping together at the mall – because he'll be shopping, too.

Cons

Your self esteem must be high. If you're not perfect yourself, dating a perfect metrosexual man requires a healthy dose of good self esteem. Most women are used to attracting more attention for their looks than their man does – in essence, we're used to being the pretty one. But when your boyfriend's legs are softer than yours, his pores are cleaner than yours, and his fashion sense is better than yours, it's easy to find yourself feeling out of your league. If your self esteem is delicate, a metrosexual can do some damage.

Could be a warning sign. A person who cares for his appearance is one thing; a person who worships his appearance for hours in front of a mirror is another. Sometimes a man who spends too much time on his appearance is simply putting gloss over an empty shell – there's not much behind his pretty face. Metrosexual men can tend to be ego-maniacs or just plain shallow.

Of course, the same is true of vain women.

Gender roles are reversed. Okay, "reversed" may be a strong word for this, but it is true that gender roles are often softened when you date a metrosexual. As a woman, you're probably used to dating men who make you feel feminine. A metrosexual man may make you feel that way – especially when he's criticizing your choice of shoe.

When you have this kind of person in your life, they can seem nearly impossible to get over. You know, deep down, that the situation probably won't change, but it's hard to move on and take a chance with somebody new – and, admit it, less desirable. After all, you've already found the perfect person…anything else would feel like settling.

While it's perfectly natural to feel this way (and I think we all probably have at some point), it's not a healthy point of view. If you have your eye on somebody who is attached or uninterested, it's possible that you're letting it get in the way of your future happiness. This sound like you? Here are a few hints that you might be letting that "perfect" man or woman get in the way of finding an even better one.

You compare others to them. When you go on dates, you constantly compare the person you're with to the person you wish you were with. "So-and-so would make a better joke here," or "So-and-so would know what movie I'm quoting from." And, of course, they never measure up – because you don't want them to. If you find yourself constantly comparing the people you date to that "perfect" man or woman, it's time to get some distance.

You don't give many chances. Sure, it's natural to compare the people in your life to one another. But if you have a checklist that somebody you date has to mark off in order to meet the standards set by that "perfect" guy or girl, you're being unfair. While it's important not to settle for somebody who can't make you happy, there's no real way to know just what that is. If you never give somebody a chance to impress you just because he or she is not that "special person," you'll never meet a special person of your own.

The idea of dating makes you feel hopeless. If dating feels like a useless endeavour because you can't have what you want, it's time to deny your inner depressive and do exactly what you don't want to: go on dates. The less you feel able to connect to dates because you're pining over an unrequited love (or like), the more you need to get out there and meet new people.

If, out of hopelessness, you seclude yourself from the opposite sex, you'll never get a chance to gain some perspective. The more time you spend with the opposite sex – whether as friends or potential partners – the more you'll realize that there are plenty of great people out there. You just have to be open to what makes them special. And in the meantime, you'll have a lot more fun than you would sitting around and pouting on your own.

In short, Mom is picky about who we date and loves to tell us when she thinks something is wrong.

But just because Mom cries wolf about your love live a little too often doesn't mean you should never listen to her. Because there are a few occasions in particular where you listen, and listen hard – because Mom may be trying to tell you something important.

1. She claims your partner shows signs of controlling behavior. General Mom complaints are things like "he has no future," or "she's not good enough for you." But when Mom spots signs of troublesome – and worrying – behavior about your partner, you should listen. Sure, she may be wrong…but it's also possible that she sees something you don't. Ask her for examples of this kind of behavior, and why she interprets them as she does. Then listen hard to your instincts…is she right, or is she just looking for reasons to dislike your date?

2. She sees your partner as unstable. I think this is especially true of women: mothers can often tell when another woman is unstable. So if you're dating a girl who seems perfectly normal to you, and your mother believes she's an unstable person, you might want to listen. Ask her why she thinks so, then watch for warning signs on your own. Sure, Mom loves to nitpick…but if her instincts are good, you may want to keep an eye out for strange behavior in your partner.

3. She worries your partner is divisive. If Mom complains that your boyfriend or girlfriend creates problems and isolates you from the family, you ought to pay attention. Controlling personalities work to cut off their partners from the support of their friends and family, isolating them in order to control them more fully.

4. She thinks you're going too fast. Sometimes Mom is the voice of nagging negativity. Other times, she's the voice of reason. If Mom thinks the relationship is moving way too fast, she may be right. Try to look at the relationship objectively, and evaluate whether or not you've been as wise as you could have been.

5. She feels you've changed for the worse. Some people bring out the worst in you…or simply make you unhappy. When this happens, mothers are usually the first ones to notice. If Mom thinks you seem less happy, or angrier, or less ambitious (or whatever!) because of your relationship, you may want to evaluate the effect your relationship has had on your personality or state of mind.

No, you don't want to give Mom a blank check when it comes to your relationship – it's important to make your own decisions and allow yourself to come to your own conclusions. But it's also true that Mom has your best interests at heart, and may just see things you don't. So take Mom with a grain of salt, but…listen to her sometimes, too. Especially when the stakes are highest.

Like jealousy-ridden daters, rebounders are easy to spot. Generally, they have just left a long term relationship, and are wild with freedom – like a dog released from a cage. If your partner's declarations of love and devotion are accompanied by a wild eyed smile, it's time to wonder if they're feelings for you are real, or just a result of their new-found freedom.

The Habitual Cheater. The habitual cheater is probably the most likely of all my dating villains to break your heart. Generally fun, flirtatious, and easy to be with, the habitual cheater seems perfect on the outside. It's when this person tries to commit that things get hairy. The habitual cheater cheats either because they feel they're "wired" to cheat, or because they're afraid of true commitment, and are looking to sabotage their relationship.

Spotting the habitual cheater is, unfortunately, rather difficult. They look just like you and me. The best thing is to keep in mind that if someone you're dating seems too good to be true (or seems to have a roaming eye) they probably are.

The Jealousy-Ridden. Everybody feels a little possessive about their boyfriend or girlfriend from time to time. But it's when that jealously gets out of hand that it's time to worry. The overly possessive or jealous partner is especially dangerous – they have an ability to break your spirit in a way that other dating villains cannot. And it's what most of them aim to do, whether they admit it or not. Because their own insecurities are so deep, possessive daters feel that, deep down, you don't want to be with them – even if they seem confident on the outside. The jealousy-ridden dating villain is also the most likely to be violent.

Spotting an overly possessive partner is pretty easy – even early on in the relationship. They will ask more than the normal number of questions about where you are, what you're doing, and who with. They'll make disparaging comments about you – watch out, as these often come in the form of "harmless" jokes – in order to keep you down. If your partner wants to know where you are at all hours of the day, chances are they're a jealous dater.

The Liar. Nobody, of course, is 100% virtuous, and almost all of us tell a lie or two from time to time – even to the people we claim to love best. But when lies become so tangled up with the truth that you can't pull them apart with a pair of tweezers, you're in a whole different territory: the territory of the liar. Though immensely frustrating, the liar is a rather sad villain in the land of dating: they lie not because they want to hurt or confuse you, but because they ache so deeply for approval that they can't stand the idea of telling you the truth about who they are. But while it's good to feel sympathy for a liar, believe me when I say you don't want to wrap your life up with theirs.

While it is possible to spot a liar early-on, they tend to hide well in plain sight. If you tend to trust people right off, you may have attracted a liar and not even realize it. But if somebody you're dating is full of outlandish stories that contradict themselves when you ask clear-cut questions, chances are they're spinning you a fairy tale. And they're the villain in this particular story.

The Pros of Dating a Co-Worker

The best thing about dating somebody you work with is that you already know them – but you haven't developed a "we're just friends" dynamic. When you work with somebody, you know a lot more about him or her than if you were to meet him a few times in a bar. And you're comfortable enough to talk to each other without the pressure of "this is supposed to lead to romance."

Plus, the ways in which you know your co-workers are more valuable than a quick chat over drinks would be…because you've seen how this person behaves in a wide variety of situations. You've seen how he or she treats the lowliest intern. How he or she reacts to stress. Basically, you know what kind of a person he or she is, because your relationship has probably never included any of the "I'm on my best behavior" masks and deceptions that most of us use when starting a romantic relationship.

Another great thing about dating a co-worker is proximity – it's fun to be so close. There's little more exciting than a three-minute make out session in the copy room…as long as you don't get caught. Plus, seeing each other daily takes a lot of the pressure off of the beginning of a relationship. Things are allowed to build naturally instead of through the "is he going to call or isn't he" hell you're so used to.

The Cons of Dating a Co-Worker

I'll start off with the most obvious one: at many companies, it's against the rules. And while dating somebody when it's not allowed can be very exciting, it can play havoc on your career and is best avoided. And even if it's not against the rules, dating somebody at work is bound to create a bit of drama. We all know how popular spreading office gossip is, so you need to be prepared to be the brunt of a few jokes or nasty rumors.

Another thing to consider when you want to date somebody at work is whether or not they have the same feelings you do. This is especially important for men. If you're interested in a woman you work with, you need to be absolutely sure than any comments you make or flirting you do won't be taken the wrong way. Sexual harassment is a big deal, and you want to be sure you aren't doing it inadvertently.

Last but of course not least is the "break up" factor. If you start a relationship with a co-worker and things go wrong, the atmosphere is going to be more than a little tense at the office. Especially if the relationship went horribly wrong or there was a messy break up, going back to work can be awkward, difficult, or (for some people) even impossible. So if you're more dedicated to your company and your career than to the idea of having a romantic relationship, it might be best to look elsewhere for love.