PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

You've met somebody new, and this man or woman seems ideal in every way. They like the same movies you do, they look at the world the same way you do. You laugh together and have amazing conversations and your chemistry is out of this world. There's only one problem. You just found out that he or she has kids… and you don't.
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When I'm talking about this subject, I always feel like I'm treading over dangerous ground. Because I'm a girl who does like nice guys…and I know that other women want men to treat them decently, too. But here's something else that I think is true for most women: while we say that we want a nice guy to treat us like a princess and buy us flowers and worship us…we're kind of, well…lying. And most of us don't even realize it.
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Every time I hear this famous Harry Belafonte song, it makes me think about the importance of looks in romance:

I always wondered if Belafonte was married, and if so, what his wife thought of that particular ditty! Because it seems like there’s nothing in the world worse than being considered unattractive by the opposite sex. But is that actually true? Are looks really so important? Or does personality have a greater effect on attraction in the long run?
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Most of the time, it’s pretty clear when you’re being asked out for a date. The guy or girl in question is pink-cheeked and nervous, and the situation makes it clear that this is about romance…not finding a new buddy who likes Star Wars as much as you do. But occasionally you can go out with somebody who either hasn’t made it clear whether or not this is a date…or, even worse, doesn’t seem to realize that you asked him or her out on a date instead of just a friendly outing.
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Ever been in a relationship where, even though the physical side of things was great (hey, even mind-blowing), you just didn’t click with your partner on a non-physical level? Of course you have – we all have (haven’t we?). This is the kind of relationship that results from letting a physical attraction take its course…and ignoring the fact that there’s no real connection. And, hey, it’s a lot of fun. Even if it’s temporary.
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Ah, sex for the first time with a new partner. Isn’t it wonderful? Unfortunately, it’s not always. No matter how attracted you are to somebody, sometimes things just don’t click in the bedroom. You lie there, vaguely disappointed…and then you hear it. “Wow, that was incredible. Was it good for you?” And your heart plummets. What the heck do you say?
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Lots of people use star signs as a guide for relationships and dating. And a lot of other people think that it's, well…a little crazy. But who’s right?
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Ever noticed that the enviable girl with ten gorgeous guys scrambling to date her isn't always the prettiest one? She might be pretty, sure, but she might be just a little cute, or even rather plain. But no matter what she looks like, there's something intangible about her that men love.
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You’re free! Maybe you’re over-the-moon about having been let loose from your ex. Or maybe you’re crying into your double-chocolate fudge chunk every night. But no matter how you feel about the end of a relationship, the fact is…it’s over. It’s time to move on. But especially if you’ve just come out of a long-term relationship, moving on is not the cake-walk your girlfriends try to make it sound. It’s hard! You’re not used to the awkward, quivery excitement of meeting men and going on first dates. And you’re not used to flirting with them, either – you may have even forgotten how.
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“Just do it.” “Jump right in, the water’s fine.” “Get busy livin’, or get busy dyin’.” There are about a thousand clichéd phrases thought up by the oh-so-wise to encourage you to just…take a chance in life. But if you’re sitting in a bar, palms sweating and heart pounding, your mind wrestling with itself about whether or not to ask out that pretty blonde who’s been glancing at you all night, “take a chance” doesn’t usually feel like the most appealing option. “Play it safe,” probably sounds better. That and, “order another beer and then go home.”
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