PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

Why is it that there is always a sense of excitement when we get ready for a night on the town? A bubbly anticipation as we zip our dresses, button our blouses, spray the cologne, tousle the hair. It's not as if we are going out to that same bar that we've been frequenting for the last 5 years, for the first time! The floors are still sticky from spilled drinks and foot traffic, the doorman is still on a power trip and the same drunk teenager with a fake I.D is always dancing on the table in the corner for no good reason. Yet, weekend after weekend, we rally at the house, donning our party apparel, high fives all around and a silent expectation brewing in our well dressed bodies. But, for what?

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I've had my fair share of horrible dates – who hasn't? Before, I'd usually suffer through them in silence, making small talk and pretending to laugh at their less-than-humorous jokes.

Eventually, I started to realize that not only was I making myself miserable; I was leading the poor sap on! I can't tell you how many times guys have called me after a first date, only to realize after the 17th call I had no desire to go out with them again…

But, I digress.

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I remember when I started telling a few of my friends that I had made a decision to be celibate until marriage. A few of them laughed and I don't mean a little chuckle. They hollered, even mocked and then looked at me as if I were crazy. One even told me that his wife had tried to use that while they were dating and he wasn't having it. I told him how very supportive and respectful he was of her decision. Hopefully he heard my sarcasm.

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No two ways about it, we are led by our physical desires. Initially, we pick each other based on how physically attracted we are to each other and if we don’t step back and catch our breath, those emotions can often cloud our thinking and get in the way of us getting to know that person. All reasoning becomes obsolete as our physical emotions take over.

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Life is not as complicated as we think. Essentially, life can be described as a long series of yes' and no's. Happiness? Yes. Holiday Pounds? No thank you. A raise? Yes, please. A date with Carrot Top? Um…let me think about it, no.

However, in between the yes', nope's and Heck ya's, there is a gray zone; a particularly uncomfortable area that I like to call the Maybe Zone. Maybe's, I'm not sure's and I don't know's reside in this wasteland. Here, dwell lost causes, unresolved issues and generally the unknown. Among the lost causes, you may encounter our opinion of Britney Spears, the justification of the war in the Middle East and, my least favorite, Friends with Benefits, or what I like to call FwiBs.

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We have all been there before! Six margaritas, three very adamant "I'm not drunk's!!!" and one phone number of a chemical engineer with braces later, there we are, scrolling through potential victims to drunk dial. We all have them; the two or three people that always pop-up into our psyche every time we somehow have a little too much too drink. The only inhibition we possess however, is not if we should actually call them, but who we really should call first! This is where our friends step in, de-claw the cell phone away from our grips and remind us that we are drunk and that it's a bad idea. But is it really a bad idea?

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How often do we discuss with our friends the type of person we’re looking for when it comes to being attracted to the opposite sex? Whether male or female, we quickly go through our mental check-list; their nationality, height, weight, type of career, bank account, physical attributes and what kind of car they drive–going on and on, blah, blah, blah.

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In a world full of flowers, first kisses, butterfly stomachs and candlelight dinners, we tend to see the world through relationship-colored glasses. We revel in the company of a special someone, we bask in the afterglow of an afternoon delight and we can't imagine our lives without a ‘plus one' in it.

Romance is in the air and the idea of being single is as dreadful as starting a very-much needed diet during the Holidays; you miss out on all the fun!

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So, he or she has finally called! The endless hours monitoring the phone, the handful of calls to the phone company to make sure that the network connection has not been interrupted by some random freak accident, and the minor burn from the super glue on your hand to make sure you didn't miss 'the call' seems to have all paid off! You got the call, you did the little hallelujah dance and then continued to modestly answer the phone with a nonchalant 'Hello?' Now what?

Well, for those lucky ones who chat until the wee hours of the morning and got to ask the famous high-school talk-fest question "are you asleep?" – Congrats! For the others, the confused, the perplexed individuals – Listen up.

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Everyone wants to know how to attract the man or woman of his or her dreams. However, when it comes to attracting the perfect mate, you may be surprised to discover that you should begin by focusing on yourself. First, if you don’t have a clear understanding of who you are, what you like, or where you are headed in life, it will be impossible to attract other people. Before you can attract someone who is your complement, you must first develop your own individual characteristics and attain your own dreams, goals, and visions.

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