First…it's okay to freak out. If you don't have kids of your own, it's not something you expect to deal with when you're dating somebody new. It's perfectly natural to be taken aback, and it doesn't make you a bad person.

Let Yourself be Cold-Blooded about the Future

In fact, when you find out that somebody you're getting serious about has kids, it's okay to let yourself be cold-blooded about it. In fact, you should be.

Now, by cold-blooded, I don't mean to say that you should dump him or her outright and not give it a second thought. (Of course not!) But I do mean that you should consider yourself first. While you might really like this person, you're not in a committed relationship yet…and at this point, you need to put yourself first. You need to be fair to your future, and look at the relationship for how it will affect you.

Are you ready to have kids in your life? If this relationship starts to go somewhere, will you be prepared to step up to the plate? While relationships between adults are serious, relationships between adults and kids are very serious, and it's not a decision you should make lightly. Be honest with yourself. If you have doubts about your desire or ability to be part of his or her kids' lives…go slowly. Veeeeery slowly.

Understand Your Partner's Priorities

So you've decided to go ahead with dating that hot single mom or dad? There are some things you're going to have to keep in mind. First and foremost…you're never going to come first in this person's life. A parent's first responsibility is to his or her children, and that's not going to change just because "oh so wonderful" you came on the scene. So get used to the idea.

Also, keep in mind that, just because a person's children are their number one priority doesn't mean there's no room for you. After all, you're a self sufficient adult, and don't need to be anybody's number one anything, right? Single parents have just as much love to give as anybody else you might date…they just have a little less time to give it, that's all. If you can learn to be okay with not being first, you've taking an important step towards making this relationship a success.

Follow His or Her Lead with the Kiddos

When you're seriously dating a single parent, there will come a time, of course, when you meet his or her kids. This is an area where you get no say…when your new partner thinks the kids are ready, he or she will let you know. You need to follow his or her lead on when to meet the kids, how to behave with them, and what to expect from them. Go slow, and don't be in a rush to establish a great relationship with the kiddos right away. Take your time, follow your partner's lead, and…don't forget to have fun. Because though they might be scary, kids are a blast!

Good luck!

Some single parents starting new relationships may feel they’re climbing an uphill battle, and this flies equally for both for women as well as for men. After all, it’s hard enough for a single person to get back into the dating scene after a presumably difficult breakup, but it can be a hundred times more difficult to squeeze in a night out with another adult, what with a crazy work schedule and PTA meetings to worry about. And adding the fear of rejection due to already having a family can really put a damper on an evening, so the thought of holding back this crucial bit of information may sound tempting… at least until after a few dates, of course. Why not let him or her get to know you as a single adult first, so “dropping the bomb" won’t have as much punch.

Actually, my direct experience as a former single mother has proven best to come right out with it, though probably not bluntly. Half of the time, your date already knows you through a mutual acquaintance, family member, work or interest, so the cat’s probably already out of the bag, even if you are unaware. The other half stems from chance encounters and personal ads. In these situations, you don’t have to feel obligated to state your parental status in the first few lines, but it is important to let your date know by the time you’ve mulled over your after dinner coffee.

Here’s the deal: some people genuinely do not care for being around children. I know that may seem unlikely or even crazy to those who adore little people, but there are folks out there who cannot, for one reason or another, handle kids and all that comes with having them. So, it is only fair to let your date know up front that you are in fact a single parent. And who knows, your date just might have a kid or two as well!

Here’s a few line ideas to let your date know without being blunt:

1. "Well, just the other day, my friend and I were at the zoo with our kids and…"

2. "Actually, I donate food through my son’s school."

3. "I saw that on cable the other night. My daughter had this project to do and…"

4. "Oh I know! Thankfully my son is a whiz at anything having to do with computers!"

Trust me. Letting your date know up front will ease a lot of tension down the road. And if he or she goes, then hey – it was never meant to be.

Most kids find it difficult to accept the fact that their parent is dating. Therefore, it’s crucial that you make an honest effort to get to know their children and spend quality time with them. If the relationship escalates, talk to the children about how they feel about your relationship with their parent. Another important thing to consider is the impact of their ex on your relationship. This person will always be in your significant other's life because they bore children together; this infused a lasting bond between them. Before you get involved, decide whether this is something that you can deal with continuously.

If for whatever reason things don’t work out between the two of you, make sure that the kids don’t get hurt as a result. When you decide to break it off, you should both sit down with the children and explain the situation to them. If you choose not to, some kids might think that you ended the relationship because of them and this can negatively affect their self esteem.

When it comes to being in a relationship with a single parent, there are tons of benefits. Not only do you gain someone you love, but you also get beautiful children as well. At the same time, it can also be emotionally-draining. By communicating with your partner and their children, you can develop a healthy relationship and possibly grow to become a family.