PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

Having low self esteem means more than just thinking you look fat in your jeans or that the girl you're chatting with at the bar won't like you – it brings a whole host of problems along with it. People with low self esteem suffer from a debilitating lack of confidence, depression, stress, jealousy, and general anxiety. I should know…I've suffered from it for years.
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Sometimes, socializing can be a sort of double-edged sword – especially if you're not naturally outgoing. You have to meet people in order to find a relationship…but you have to socialize outside your circle in order to meet new people. And we all know what "socializing outside your circle" looks like: too often, it looks like you standing on your own in a room full of chattering people, pretending to be fascinated by your gin and tonic. It looks a lot like being stranded.
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When you're single, meeting people can be incredibly frustrating. It's just so hard to meet the kind of people that interest you. Going to the bar seems pointless and clichéd. Your friends have already tried to hook you up with all their "you're going to love this guy" or "this girl is totally hot" friends. And speed dating seems like a silly waste of time.
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Ah, sex for the first time with a new partner. Isn’t it wonderful? Unfortunately, it’s not always. No matter how attracted you are to somebody, sometimes things just don’t click in the bedroom. You lie there, vaguely disappointed…and then you hear it. “Wow, that was incredible. Was it good for you?” And your heart plummets. What the heck do you say?
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Ever noticed that the enviable girl with ten gorgeous guys scrambling to date her isn't always the prettiest one? She might be pretty, sure, but she might be just a little cute, or even rather plain. But no matter what she looks like, there's something intangible about her that men love.
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You’re free! Maybe you’re over-the-moon about having been let loose from your ex. Or maybe you’re crying into your double-chocolate fudge chunk every night. But no matter how you feel about the end of a relationship, the fact is…it’s over. It’s time to move on. But especially if you’ve just come out of a long-term relationship, moving on is not the cake-walk your girlfriends try to make it sound. It’s hard! You’re not used to the awkward, quivery excitement of meeting men and going on first dates. And you’re not used to flirting with them, either – you may have even forgotten how.
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While the dating game can be fun, and can potentially allow you to find someone compatible for you in the long-term, many women (and men) can turn into a “serial dater.”

I know how dangerous serial dating can be, because I used to be one. After a boyfriend ended our relationship of four years, I was completely devastated. At first, I turned to binge-eating, sob fests, and writing tragic “poetry” in my journal in order to try and cope with the pain I was feeling. When I realized that it wasn’t working, I turned to serial dating to try and deal with my rejection. I dated man after man after man, never pausing to face the perilous slope I was heading down. I didn’t realize it then, but I was simply using each new man in my life to fill the void my long-term partner had left in my heart when he broke up with me.
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I'm sure we've all heard this statement many times – "He completes me" or "I won't feel whole until I meet that special person." I used to be one of those women who believed I would not be a complete person without a husband or having a child. This idea came more from the media and the way they portrayed the role of women which was strange because it was not the role my parents had created.

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Cool Mom

Cool Mom is a lighthearted look at how women who have become mothers now view the world around them. The site features short daily videos and a frequently updated blog by TV host, standup comic, and mom-to-a-toddler Daphne Brogdon.

Cool Mom is an unfiltered, unvarnished, unabashed conversation,a place where moms can share a laugh over situations and stories that they can relate to, as well as seek advice and make new friends.

Our Host: Daphne Brogdon

Daphne Brogdon is excited about starting conversations by saying out loud what she's thinking. Daphne has appeared on numerous television series, showcasing her range of talent which includes improv, celebrity interviews, and relationship advice from a woman's perspective. She is mom to two-year-old Vivien, and stepmom to her chef-husband Mark Peel's three kids. Get in touch or follow Daphne on Twitter.

Welcome back and congratulations on taking your first step to leaving the bars and testing new waters, and no, De Nile does not count.

Despite the unsettling facts discussed in series debut of the impossible environment the bar creates for romance, it is not to say that we don’t have much more promising locales. In fact, instead of the tired query of “Where else I can go to meet someone?” I challenge you to consider “What else you can do to meet someone in or out of a bar?”

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