PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

Compatibility is an important aspect of any relationship. When two people are compatible, there is a good indication that they have enough things in common that their relationship has a strong chance of enduring for the long haul. Every couple has differences, arguments, and conflicts and when these become the prominent factor of the relationship, the future can suddenly take a fast detour south. Making sure that you have certain areas of your personality or thinking in common can help prevent those differences from overriding your relationship. Here are four areas, or four signs that you and your partner have enough personality or character traits in common to overcome any hardships that you might face in the future.
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Sex is one of the greatest gifts given to humankind, however it is often used in ways that can hurt and destroy a relationship, rather than create intimacy. When sex is used as a weapon, both parties of the relationship suffer. Both men and women can equally abuse sex and use it as a weapon against their partner. Women might be more likely to withhold sex when angry, frustrated, or disappointed while men are more likely to use sex as a way to resolve conflicts and issues. Pressuring a woman to have sex when she isn’t consensual is just as damaging as a woman withholding sex to manipulate her partner. Understanding how recognize the signs of using sex as a form of control can help both partners make certain that they treat their sexual intimacy with respect and the reverence that it deserves.
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When starting a new relationship, it’s important to determine whether the connection is based upon qualities such as respect and integrity or if it is purely based upon sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is an important factor in all relationships, but it should never be the primary basis for a couple’s relationship. When women wonder if their man is only after sex, they can become very discouraged with the relationship. When women are focusing on love, marriage, and living happily ever after they can become suddenly devastated with the realization that their man isn’t returning the same level of emotional commitment. Here are some signs that can help you determine whether or not your man is interested in you on a deep level, or if he is only after sex.
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Just about everybody likes to flirt – even those of us currently in committed relationships. Because just as being committed or married doesn't take away your need or desire to look at people of the opposite sex, being in a relationship doesn't stop you from wanting to spark connections with others. And that's what flirting generally is – a fun, vaguely sexual connection. Generally harmless.
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I feel like I've been inundated lately with images of alternative relationships. Some of that is my own doing, of course – my favorite new show is HBO's "Big Love," which is about polygamous Mormon family living (where else?) in Utah. In the show, the male lead owns three houses, each occupied by a different wife. He rotates his nights between his houses – and between his wives, of course.
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While personal hygiene might be one of the most entertaining subjects to laugh about with your friends after a bad date, it becomes much more serious in the rare event that that date turns into a relationship. Sure, some people have no trouble at all telling their boyfriend or girlfriend that their breath smells or that they need a shower. But for most of us, these kinds of subjects are delicate indeed…and more than a little embarrassing.
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All of us have times in our lives when we're feeling a bit blue. And because situational depression is such a common thing, many people don't even realize that they suffer from chronic depression – or know how to recognize it in the ones they love. If you're in a relationship with somebody with chronic depression, that relationship can suffer and even end as a result of the disorder…without either party really understanding what went wrong.
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When couples break up, there's always one person who says "but let's try to be friends, okay?" And while that's a nice sentiment, nobody really expects it to happen. Ex-couples have a hard time staying friends after the relationship ends – generally there's just too much baggage to start a friendship anew. Every couple knows this and usually expects it to happen…which is why it's so strange and surprising when somebody you're dating is good friends with their ex.
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In a perfect world, your partner would have plenty of time to spend with you, and would always make time when you asked for it. Your schedules would mesh, and making time wouldn't be the effort that it is now. Unfortunately, though, things don't work that way. Because even when couples want to spend a ton of time together, they generally can't. Life and responsibilities get in the way, forcing both of you to compromise the amount of quality time you get.
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Sometimes, dating feels a bit like playing a child's board game. With every roll of the dice, you take a chance on a new relationship or a new person – and get a chance to create a future with somebody. Unfortunately, though, when those dice roll across the board, they almost never take you to that "happily ever after" square at the end of the game – heck, you're lucky if you roll doubles and get an extra turn every once in awhile.
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