It can be really exciting – an intoxicating cross between a new relationship and a comfortable old one. The new and the well-known, all tied up together. But resurrected relationships are just as susceptible to failure as new ones…and perhaps more so.

Acknowledge Past Hurts

Don't want to see this new incarnation of your relationship go the way of your last one? Be sure to take things slow. Think about it this way: when the two of you broke up, it was because you believed the relationship wouldn't work. Left behind were injuries and deep hurts that haven't necessarily gone away. And pretending that they have gone away can be disastrous.

The two of your have a past together, and (obviously) not all of that past has been positive. So take things slow to allow any issues and old hurts to come up slowly. If you jump into things, old angers and insecurities might surface so suddenly, they'll pull your relationship right under. Give it time.

Explore Why it Didn't Work

Obviously, your relationship with this person didn't work out the first time. And while that doesn't mean that things won't work out this time, it does mean that the pair of you definitely have some pitfalls to avoid – you know this because you weren't able to avoid them last time around.

So before jumping in head-first, take some time to think about why things didn't work out last time. Think about (and, when you're ready, discuss with your partner), some of the following questions before getting things going full steam:

1. What mistakes did you make when you were together before?

2. Can you avoid these same mistakes now? How?

3. In what ways were you yourself at fault in the break-up? Are you capable of behaving differently this time around?

4. What inherent issues put pressure on your relationship last time? How will you deal better with those issues this time around?

The sooner you get things out in the open, the easier it will be to move on more wisely than last time. Just promise yourself and your partner one thing: at no moment will you allow the discussion to degenerate into an argument about who did what. The past is the past…and you're trying to move forward.

And I think I should preface this by saying…dumping a girl is generally going to be harder than dumping a guy. Women need emotional closure more than men do, and don’t always put protecting their egos and their dignity before understanding what went wrong. So…sorry guys, but get ready for it to be painful.

After Just a Few Dates

Unless the girl you’re dating is the type to get super attached super quickly (in which case you’d better brace yourself), dumping a girl after just a few dates is going to be a cinch compared to after a longer-term relationship. Still, everybody has an ego that is easily damaged, and if she likes you, it’s going to be a difficult experience.

Tell her you’re done. I truly believe that, with men, cutting off contact after a few dates can be an easy way to break things off without bruising their delicate egos. But with women, doing this is very hurtful. Women don’t spend their contact-free days and weeks wondering if you fell down a well…we spend them wondering what we did wrong. So even though it’s easiest for you to just avoid seeing and talking to her, it’s not the best thing for her. Tell her – even if it’s just over the phone – that it’s not working.

Longer Term Relationships

Dump her over time. Most girls are hyper-aware of how their partners are behaving. So if you’ve been in a relationship for awhile and come to the conclusion that you want out…don’t do it yet. Instead, spend some time – two weeks is generally best – distancing yourself from her. Don’t be as affectionate. Don’t get physical. Don’t return her calls as often as you would normally. This way, when it comes time to do the deed, she’ll probably be expecting it, and will have prepared herself.

Tell her in person. Just as above, you’ve got to tell her you don’t want to see her anymore…and if you’re coming out of a longer term relationship, you’ve got to tell her in person. Your best option? Do it in a public place so the conversation doesn’t get out of hand. And be ready to be embarrassed if it does. (Or maybe you like having wine thrown in your face?)

Be honest. Soothing lines work with many men. But they don’t with women. We women need closure, and we need to understand why you don’t want us. So even if you’re afraid of hurting her, be honest about breaking it off. Unless, of course, you think she’s horrible in bed or smells like rotting onions! Then…lie.

Don’t lead her on. In the desire to be gentle, many men give women the impression that there’s hope for a reconciliation. And while it’s admirable to want to be nice, the kindest thing you can do post-dumping is stay away from her. Don’t call her, don’t try to be nice to her…just back off and let her get over you. If she hates you for it, well…that’s something you’re just going to have to accept.

After Just a Few Dates

If you haven’t been dating a particular guy for long, the whole dumping process is a bit easier. Neither of you should have had a chance to develop a deep emotional attachment (at least, let’s hope he hasn’t!), so the break should be easier. Still, rejection is going to hurt him — guys hate rejection more than just about anything else. So if your main goal is to dump him without making him feel like a piece of gum on the bottom of your shoe, you have a few options.

Don’t call back. This sounds really evil, right? And doing this to a woman is evil. We’re a lot more hurt by the disappearing man than by the honest one. But for men, the most hurtful injury is the one made to their fragile ego. If you simply don’t return his calls, he can think anything he wants. That you’re in a coma, or suddenly moved away, or gotten back together with an old boyfriend. He doesn’t have to dwell on having been rejected.

Just don’t take this one past the first date or two — if you’ve seen him more than that, ignoring his calls will make you look like a real jerk.

Lie. Want to let him down gently after the first few dates, but can’t stand being the disappearing woman? Lie to him. Tell him that your old boyfriend called up and wants you back, or that you’ve got a new job and don’t have time to date or…something that isn’t about him. Remember that being kind to a man is all about soothing his ego.

Longer Term Relationships

Don’t do it over the phone. Dumping a guy that you’ve been dating awhile over the phone tells him that he means nothing to you. Avoiding personal confrontation is tempting, but don’t give in. If you have to dump him, do it in person.

Give him reasons – but try not to hurt him. Try to be honest with a guy about your reasons for dumping him…but don’t rub salt in the wound. If you have some really insulting reason for dumping him, like he’s terrible in bed, you’ll probably want to sugar coat it a bit (okay, a lot) to make it easier on his ego. However, if there is something concrete he did wrong, lying about it won’t help him to fix it for his next relationship.

Make yourself the reason. Getting dumped hurts. And getting dumped because of something you did hurts worse. If you blame yourself for the break-up, it might gentle the blow. “I’m not ready,” or “I don’t have time,” are both pretty transparent excuses for a break-up, but if a man wants to protect his ego, he’ll accept them.

Here’s where it gets tricky. There’s a fine line between remaining friendly with an ex and figuring out that the flames never truly died between the two of you. I was fairly certain an ex boyfriend still held a torch for me, and I ended up making a complete fool of myself over the entire thing. You see, after we broke up we had no contact with each other for two weeks.

One day, he ended up calling me out of the blue to ask if I wanted to get together and talk. I immediately assumed this meant he wanted to get back together, so I spent all day “beautifying” myself and preparing. We met up at a coffee shop down the street from my house, and I thought we had a great time. To be honest, I interpreted his phone call and friendly gesture as a sure sign he still wanted to be with me.

The day ended on a pleasant note, but I was confused – were we getting back together? After that, I proceeded to call him every day, send him countless e-mails and text messages telling him I had a great time and maybe we could work things out. I should have realized right away when my phone calls and e-mails went unanswered that things were not going to resolve themselves, but I persisted. Finally, he had to call me and confess he was seeing someone else – and to leave him alone.

Apparently he wanted to tell me that on our coffee “date,” but because I was fawning all over him he wasn’t sure how to proceed. Needless to say, I was humiliated – and I’ve never repeated that experience. So, how CAN you tell if an ex wants you back?

While there are no hard and fast rules to determining whether an ex wants to try again, there are a few general indications that the flames may not totally have gone out. For example, does he suddenly “run into” you at places that are completely out of his way, like your job, or after a fitness class he knows you take? Does he call you and ask to stop by because he needs some things back he left at your place? Does he call you at all, simply to talk?

If an ex is going out of his way to contact you or see you, or if he initiates frequent conversations about why the two of you ended, chances are he wants you back. If that turns out to be the case, examine your feelings about your ex and why the two of your broke up in the first place. If both of you have worked through your issues, maybe it’s time to give it a second chance.

However, if you’re not totally certain your ex wants you back…don’t embarrass yourself like I did! Wait for him to make the first move.

…After you were thrown in a holding tank for a night because you were stalking him and his new girlfriend – oh, and you keyed his brand new Mustang convertible. Um… you may have broken the window to his apartment, too.

Yes, this scenario actually happened, and it was the most humiliating moment of my life. I never thought I could be that obsessed with a guy that I would get thrown in JAIL over it. I was just so distraught over our breakup that I refused to accept that he didn't love me anymore. I was worse than any of those guys who never took the hint when I'd break up with them – I KNEW we were broken up, but I didn't care. I wanted him back, in a bad way.

Ladies – if you find yourself stalking an ex boyfriend, it's time to sit down, break open a pint of Ben and Jerry's and watch Casablanca until you can't cry anymore. It's one thing to pine for what could have been, but it's another thing entirely to throw rational behavior to the wind.

After my first real boyfriend broke up with me, I was a complete wreck. I didn't think anyone would ever love me again, or that I could possibly open up my heart to another man. My hope in romance was dashed. I spent countless hours sobbing in my bedroom, and when I wasn't doing that I was a mute vegetable, unwilling and unable to get my life back in order.

I lost friends, I lost my job – I hit rock bottom before I realized what I was doing to myself. One day, I woke up and thought, "Hey! What the hell am I doing? It's only a man! There are plenty of men who will come along!" It took me about a week to get back to my normal self, but guess what? I did it! (The stalking part came later… with a different relationship… but I digress.)

What I'm trying to say is that, when you love someone, losing that person can break your heart. But if the relationship doesn't work out, you have to let him go.

Here's what worked for me. I started keeping a journal – no, not one of those free online "journals" you can write a bunch of emo stuff in and have strangers sympathize with you. I bought a beautiful hardbound journal from the local bookstore and a brand new set of pens. Then, every morning, I would write how I was feeling that day. I'd write how angry and frustrated I was at my former boyfriend… how much he hurt me. Eventually, my entries started turning more optimistic, more "You know what, life goes on." I began to heal my emotional pain, and realized that slowly but surely I was starting to get over him.

This might not work for you, but experiment until you find something that does. I guarantee that moping around the house, getting thrown in jail or losing your life over a boyfriend isn't worth it. You WILL find love again – but you have to know how to get over him first.

Making some changes in your life is a good way to get over a long relationship; and I don't mean immediately jumping into the dating pool, although some think that's the best cure. I do however believe in huge makeovers after any major breakup and what better place to get over someone then in sunny Los Angeles.

Healing from a broken heart should start from the inside out, so the first activity I would suggest is yoga. From the Valley to the beaches yoga centers are popping up all over the area and can offer meditation and relaxation methods that can sooth anyones weary mind.

If you feel that yoga might be a little to tame for you and you need to work it out, why not try some boxing, martial arts, or self defense classes and if you want to kick them up a notch, go ahead and take one of those photos with you and paste it on one of those bags and go crazy.

Still feel that you have a lot of tension? Why not try a spa. Burke Williams Day Spa is a great place for those deep tissue massages and those muscle relaxing facials. Or if you don't want to spend the money, then buy some helpful tonic items like; scrubs, lotions and elixirs at Sephora or Carol's Daughter and create your own relaxing atmosphere right at home.

Once your insides are taken care of then it's time for a little work on the outside. I would suggest a nice new hair doo, but nothing too drastic and of course shopping is always a winner for me when it comes to healing the broken heart. After all, you might want to stay away from those little outfits that they seemed to love you in so much.

These things are not meant for you to bury or forget your troubles. I believe that in order for us to move on, we need to reevaluate, but after that's done then by all means try these other suggested remedies. Because remember, it's a small world out there and there is nothing more gratifying then bumping into an ex while you're looking fabulous and nothing worse then when you're not!

Courtesy: Sheilah Brooks

It may be tempting to take a break in your relationship if you have been seeing each other exclusively, and then begin arguing and quarreling frequently. However, before deciding that this is the best road to travel, you will need to take some things into consideration. The first area to consider is that once you and your partner take a break, either one of you may decide to end the relationship. This is a serious reality and one that you should really consider before agreeing to take a break. However, most people agree that when one party feels that it is time to take a break, they have already been contemplating ending the relationship. So, with that in mind, if you absolutely do not want to end your relationship, you may want to discuss other options with your partner.

Before agreeing to take time off of your relationship, you may want to suggest seeing a counselor. A counselor can help you work through the issues that you are facing and can provide greater results than you can achieve by taking a break.

You should also realize that if you and your partner have unresolved issues, taking a break from your relationship would not solve them. If you have been fighting frequently, and want to take a break, when you get back together your problems will still be there. This is another reason why seeing a counselor is more advantageous than taking a break. If your relationship is to grow stronger and thrive, it is better to take care of the issues that are causing strain and disagreement, rather than avoiding them.

Sometimes, the idea of taking a break from a relationship seems like the best solution, however it may just be a way of running away from the real issues at hand. It should also be considered that the fact that you want to take a break might be a warning sign that your relationship has reached its end.

Finally, there is truth to the statement that separation makes the heart grow fonder. If you have tried counseling, and continue to fight, and aren't sure if you should end your relationship or not, you may want to agree to take a break. If you find that your heart is longing for the other person and you both agree to reunite, your relationship may be stronger than it ever was before. However, you should both be prepared for the possibility that your break may be the first step to the end of your relationship.

The best way to go about initiating a break is to just put everything out in the open. Both parties need to know where the relationship stands. By talking things over and figuring out which direction you need to take, you and your partner can be clear on what the future holds. A lack of communication is the main reason why people never come out of these "breaks" and the break essentially turns into a break up. In many cases, one party will interpret this request for time apart as an actual break up and their subsequent actions will likely end the relationship permanently.

If your partner initiated the break, make sure to give them as much time and space as they need. Many people make the potentially fatal mistake of holding on too tight or not allowing natural space to take place. This is a sure way to drive a spike into your relationship and it will only make things worse. Take your time, be optimistic, and continue to remind yourself that that this will only strengthen your relationship in the long run. In the mean time, enjoy your break from the realm of relationships and relax…just remember to follow the rules.

When it's over…it's over.

There are some times when you’re in a relationship and you know it’s just not going to work. Though you want desperately to hold on for dear life as the relationship slips away, it’s never a good idea to try and force a relationship to work. Usher said it best in his song "Burn" – sometimes you just have to let it go.

There are other times when you already know that your relationship is headed for a dead end. It might have felt good for a few months or even for a couple of years, but you know that it’s just going to end with an ugly breakup. It happens very subtly; often times, you’ll wake up one day and realize that your significant other is just not the person you want to spend your life with. Instead of hanging around for three more excruciating years, you just have to go ahead and end the thing.

Put that person out of his or her misery. If it’s that obvious that things aren’t working, then you can be pretty sure that they know it as well. You can’t let fear or a doubt about the future guide your decision in these cases. There is really nothing uglier than a relationship that sits on the edge, hanging on when it should have been ended years ago. All of your friends know it, all of your family knows it, and it’s time that you realize it as well.

There are a couple of different ways to close out a dead end relationship. Since these break ups happen as the result of a general problem with the relationship and not one specific ugly instance, you need to let the person down easy. It’s not like they cheated on you! Spare their feelings a little bit, so that they won’t have trouble committing to a relationship in the future. The best way to do this is to be honest and let that person know exactly where you stand. Honesty is the best policy when it comes to breaking off a long term relationship that was in the dumps.

Breaking up is never an easy decision to make, but when a relationship has run its course, it is better to end it than to let things drag on indefinitely. There are a number of different reasons why someone decides to end a relationship; usually the most common reason is that the initial feeling of love has begun to fade. It is however important to realize that in all relationships, after a certain length of time, the feelings of love will naturally diminish and the relationship will take on a new meaning.

This shouldn’t be taken as a sign to end the relationship. If however, the feelings of love fade or are replaced with negative comments, statements, or actions, this could be a warning of where the relationship is headed. Though it is common for relationships to change, and the first feelings of “spring love” to subside, it isn’t healthy for those feelings to evolve into arguments, violence, or demeaning behavior. If you are experiencing any emotional, verbal, or physical abuse, then it is definitely time to call it quits.

Along with abuse, it is also important to call it quits if you discover that your relationship is not only making you miserable, but is also robbing your self esteem. When you realize that the toll the relationship is taking on you is preventing you from enjoying life, it is time to step back and evaluate the relationship. Of course no relationship is perfect and you can expect to have ups and downs, but if things have become so negative that you no longer feel good about yourself, then the relationship is destructive and needs to end.

There are also many reasons why people choose to stay together, even though their hearts and their heads are telling them that they should end the relationship. Sometimes one partner makes the other feel guilty about leaving and basically manipulates them into staying in the relationship. This is a form of control and should be recognized as such. If you feel within your heart that the relationship is over, then you should leave and not let anyone use guilt to make you stay in a relationship.

Staying in a relationship when it is time to call it quits can lead to serious consequences. Stress, tension, and anxiety can take their toll on your health and well-being. It simply isn’t worth it. If you are suffering in a bad relationship, then it is best to end it and move on. Some times people fear being alone and they continue to suffer through bad relationships out of that fear. It is better to be alone and happy then to stay with someone who makes you unhappy. You owe it to yourself to find true happiness with someone who loves, cares for, and respects you.