One of the greatest mistakes that a woman can make in her relationship is withholding sex as a form of control. When women expect their partners to be faithful to them, they must understand that they are the ones who their partner is going to find sexual fulfillment with. By withholding sex, you are not engaging in warfare and winning a battle, you are actually creating a scenario where your partner will begin to resent you and begin looking for a new, better relationship. Withholding sex to gain an advantage in a relationship never works, and the results are always the same; it will ultimately destroy the relationship.

What is important to understand is that if a woman is emotionally upset or angry, she will not be in the mood for sex. Where many men will want to ultimately resolve a conflict through sex, a woman would rather resolve the argument through talking and cuddling. However, once she has received ample communication and feels secure in the relationship again, she will be ready for sex. The key is to recognize that when problems arise, they must be solved in a manner that doesn’t involve sex. Men shouldn’t expect to resolve the issue through sex and women should refrain from the attitude that she won’t give any sex because of the conflict. The focus should be on communication and resolving the problem in a mature manner. Once the couple begins to discuss the underlying issues and work at a solution, they can then pick up with their intimacy. Sex then becomes a true act of deeper intimacy and not a weapon or a temporary cure to cover the problem.

I’m sure you’ve heard of make up sex, and make up sex is a great thing. However, it must be used correctly. Make up sex should never take the place of openly talking about, and solving conflicts and problems. It should arise after the problem has been resolved and the couple is feeling genuine feelings of love and intimacy for one another. If a woman feels that she is being pressured into sex while her emotional needs aren’t being met, she will feel as if sex is being used as a weapon against her. Likewise, when women feel angry or emotionally dissatisfied they will shut their partner’s off and withhold sex from them. Communication, love, and respect are key to preventing sex from becoming a weapon in any relationship.

First, you should realize that just because your man has a strong sexual appetite doesn’t mean that he isn’t committed to you or respecting you as a woman. Men with healthy testosterone levels have high sex drives. But if you find that all your man ever wants to do is have sex, and then leave, you might have serious grounds for concern. You might want to pay attention to what he talks about when he’s with you and whether or not the conversation involves any non sexual topics. If he seems to lose interest in any subject but sex, then you should be concerned.

Another area to look at is how he acts with you around his friends, provided that he’s introduced you to them. If you haven’t met his friends, and your time together consists of always being in the bedroom, then you should seriously consider the fact that he is not looking for a serious relationship but a sex partner. When a man is interested in a woman on a deeply committed level, he will have no problem introducing her to his friends and family members. If you have met his friends and family and are still not convinced that he respects you as an individual and sees you as more than a sex partner, then take a good look at the way he interacts with you around his friends.

If he always makes sexual advances towards you in front of his friends, and never treats you with respect, then you should definitely consider the fact that he is only with you for sex. Also, ask yourself how often he tells you he loves you as well as the situation you are in when he tells you. If he only says he loves you before, during, or immediately after sex, there’s a problem. If he tries to convince you that you would have sex with him to prove that you love him, there’s a problem.

Real relationships are based on much more than sexual attraction. You should be able to recount numerous times that you and your man have spent enjoying cultural events, movies, and dates that didn’t wind up with the two of you in bed. True love is based on trust, integrity, and respect. Though many men are only after one thing, there are plenty of men who are looking for genuine, sincere relationships based upon trust and commitment. If you suspect that you are in a relationship that is based purely on sex and are unhappy, get out of it. Without respect, you’ll never find true happiness in any relationship.

Obviously, I’m going to say that the “right time” is different for every couple, every set of intentions, and every situation. I’m also going to say that you have to decide for yourself when it’s right, and not give in to pressure to go for it before you’re ready (generally advice for the ladies rather than the men). Now that the small print is all over with, here are some guidelines for deciding when it’s the right time to have sex… and when you should wait.

What Sex Means to Women vs. Men

Sex means love and babies, right? Okay, not always. Just like men, we women are sometimes just in it for the lovin’… and not for the love. But even if we’re not in it for the long term, our bodies think we are. There’s a lot of science behind why this is true, and some of it is speculative. But it’s thought that, after having sex with a partner for the first time, a woman’s body releases a hormone called oxytocin during orgasm. Though little is actually known about how oxytocin affects the body, it is thought that this hormone acts on a woman to make her want to keep a man around after sex… so they can stay together and raise babies, of course. Scary, right?

For women, even if we’re not looking for it, sex is connected to reproduction and love and raising cute, chubby-cheeked babies. It’s in our DNA.

It seems that, upon orgasm, men also produce this family-forming hormone. But the presence of so much testosterone in their systems really tempers its effect on the body – and on his wanting to stick around and raise babies. Essentially, when a man has sex, he considers his job done. His body says it’s time to go…and the decision to stick around is made wholly by his brain.

When Is It Time?

Knowing all of this…when is a good time to start a physical relationship? The simple answer is this: when you know what you want. The decision is, of course, harder for women than it is for men. We women have to quickly decide if we just want a roll in the hay…or if we want a long-term relationship with a particular guy.

If all you want is a bit of fun, just go for it. But if you’re looking for a relationship, you should probably hold off a bit. Because while a woman can tell if she’d want to have a relationship with a guy pretty darned quickly, it takes men much, much longer. Before getting physical, give him a chance to get to know you… because if he doesn’t have a good reason to stick around (namely, that he thinks you’re awesome), his body will be screaming at him to run away… and his brain might just listen.

Sorry, men! It’s science we’re talking about here, and I don’t want to steer my fellow females wrong. None of this means you can’t try, though…And good luck!

Avoid it. This is probably what most women (and men) do when asked “the dreaded question” – after all, you don’t want to lie, but you don’t want to hurt his feelings, either. So you just gloss over it and hope he won’t notice. “I think you’re wonderful,” is a good non-lie way to keep from admitting that, even if you think he’s wonderful, you don’t think he’s wonderful in bed.

When is it a good time to duck the question – and avoid giving a straight answer? There are a couple of situations in which this might be your best option. One is when the guy in question is somebody that you want to keep having a relationship with. If you want sex between the two of you to get better, you’ll need to talk to him about it…but not post-coitus, as that’s when emotions will be highest.

This is also a good route when the sex was so bad that it was a deal breaker – you’re not going to see him anymore. You don’t want to get into a conversation about good and bad, or stroke his ego…you just want to get out.

Fess up. Watch out…this is the dangerous one. If he asks “How was it for you?” and you answer “Why, quite terrible…thank you for asking,” you can bet that his reaction isn’t going to be pleasant to behold. Every man seems to think he’s an Adonis in the bedroom, and this kind of blow to his ego can get a little messy. So use this with caution…if at all.

The best time to just fess up is when the sex was a one-time thing. If you know you’re not going to be going back for more, but want to help him be better, telling him it was bad might be doing him a favor. It’ll hurt, but if he’s willing to listen, it can also help. Just remember to be specific. “You suck,” doesn’t do anything but injure his ego. “This or that could be better,” will help him with future encounters.

Want to continue having a relationship with this man, and want to see the sex get better right away? You might be tempted to tell him post-coitus, but…don’t. It’s best to wait until you’re both calm (and fully dressed) so you can have a composed, honest conversation – with a bit less ego involved.

Lie. This is the easy way out – stroke his ego and make things easy for yourself. After all, you don’t want to hurt his feelings. While this may seem tempting, lying isn’t a great idea in any relationship. If it’s possible to be straight with him (especially not post-coitus), you should be.

Just a note: while these tips are geared towards women (after all, it’s usually men who ask the dreaded question), but work equally well for both sexes.

Communication is a vital component to a healthy relationship. Some people feel that when they are in love, they show that love by confiding all of their secrets in their partner. They may approach the relationship with an open heart and feel that their willingness to share all of their intimate details is in direct correlation to the way they feel. It makes sense – if you love someone completely, you will want him or her to know everything about you. This usually includes sharing intimate details from the past. However, sometimes you may choose to think twice about sharing intimate details from past relationships with your partner.

No matter how much love you feel for your partner, you should carefully consider what information you should share with him or her, especially when it involves past relationships. Though your relationship may be great, it doesn’t take much for feelings of jealousy to surface. Often times, well meaning people have shared intimate details with their partner only to find that the information was later used against them during an argument or a time of tension. Other people may not even realize that talking about past relationships can make other people uncomfortable. You should always approach the subject of past relationships carefully, and if you detect any apprehension in your partner, you should change the subject immediately.

It’s usually best to let the past stay dormant and approach each relationship with a fresh and new attitude. You should also realize that your past relationship is just that – it’s in the past. There is probably no real bearing that your past relationship will have on your new relationship, therefore you should ask yourself if it is really beneficial to bring it up. More than likely you’ll realize that if you really assess why you feel the need to reveal intimate details regarding past relationships, you’ll find that there is nothing you can discuss that can help your current progress. Recognizing that you are in a new relationship with a different partner can help quell the need for discussing past details.

If you are in a relationship and your partner continually brings up their past, you should let them know how it makes you feel. If you feel uncomfortable, then you have to let him or her know. There is no way your relationship can continue to thrive and grow unless you address your feelings in an open and healthy manner.

If you are going to address a lack of intimacy in your relationship, the first step is to try and determine the nature of the problem. If it is a medical or health concern then you should seek the advice of your health care professional. However, if the lack of intimacy is caused by other factors, such as stress or tension there are some steps that you can take to help put your relationship back on track. Here are some tips that will you improve intimacy in your relationship.

Since stress is one of the most prevalent causes underlying a lack of intimacy between couples, it is the first area to be addressed. Stress can cause the body to go into defense mode. It can also suppress the Immune System leaving the body susceptible to sickness, exhaustion, and feeling as if you have no energy to perform every day chores. By ensuring that you have a healthy diet that includes plenty of exercise you can prevent stress from getting its hold on you.

It may sound strange at first, but the best way to prevent a lack of intimacy is to begin by taking care of your own health. When you exercise, you will release hormones (such as endorphins) and have a positive outlook on life. This will give you the stability that you need to face the challenges of everyday life. Once you have your life in balance, you will be able to enjoy spending time with your partner in a greater capacity. You should also consider taking a daily multivitamin supplement to ensure that your physical well being is at its optimum.

Once you have taken the steps necessary to ensure your health and well being, you should also look at ways that you can prevent or reduce stress specifically. Find a way to relax every day and you will begin to have the energy needed to spend intimate and stress free time with your partner.

When couples lack intimacy, whether it is physical or emotional, a lack of communication begins to develop. To reverse this, it is imperative that you communicate with each other. Discuss what is going on. If it is a medical concern, tell your partner. Intimacy issues can be a cause of fear and anxiety, and by sharing them with your partner you can depend upon the strength and support that they offer. Talking is the best way to sort out the issues that may be the underlying root of your intimacy issues as well.

However, some couples find that writing a letter may be the best way to express how they feel. Whichever way you choose, the point is to make sure that you communicate your concerns, fears, thoughts, and anxieties with your partner. By working through these issues together, you can ensure that you will pass through this stage in your relationship and enjoy a deeper and greater level of intimacy.

It is important to ensure that both parties feel comfortable playing the game. Once you have decided upon the perfect romance game, you will discover how much fun you can have. These games are perfect for spicing up a relationship that may be beginning to lose some of its passion, spontaneity, and excitement. Here are some reviews of the top romantic games available today.

The Kama Sutra Game (Board Game)

This is truly the game for lovers. If your goal is to heighten your experience, increase awareness of both you and your partner, and develop greater intimacy, then this is the game for you. The game consists from verbal communication that involves sharing intimate secrets to practicing the Kama Sutra’s various positions.

Speak Love Make Love (Board Game)

This game is designed to help couples learn more about each other in an open atmosphere. If an activity makes you feel uncomfortable, then you and your partner should stop and communicate your feelings or apprehensiveness with each other. This game is intended for adults and is designed to promote a deeper understanding between couples.

The Newlywed Game (Board game)

If you have never seen the television game show, “The Newlywed Game” don’t worry, you will still enjoy the board game. The game consists of over 200 questions that couples ask each other, while trying to anticipate what each other’s answer will be. Unlike the other games previously mentioned, 2 or 4 players may play this one. This game also is a great communication tool and will really open your eyes and help you know your partner.

A Lover’s Touch (Board Game)

This game was developed by Relationship Enrichment Systems and was created to help strengthen couples intimacy. It involves physical touch and is the perfect game for couples that desire romantic play.

Strip Poker (Card Game)

Strip Poker is one of the most trusted and favorite romantic fun games. It is easy to play and any couple can start their romantic night off with a round of poker. Strip poker has many variations, and basically you can adapt any game (card or board) to become a “strip” game. To avoid any confusion, decide before hand how many points the player will lose before they will remove an item of clothing. Additionally, you can also predetermine which items will be removed first.

By adding romantic games to your relationship, you will notice that you have added fun, laughter, and spontaneity. Romantic games are not only suitable for couples that are still in the “newlywed” stage, but are great for couples who have been together for a long time. Couples with children may often find that they are hard pressed for romantic ideas or lack adequate time away from the children to experience the level of romance that they would like. Romance games can be played after the kids go to bed and they are very inexpensive. These games can play a vital role in keeping your relationship strong, healthy, and fun.