In any case, about six weeks into the relationship I began to notice signs that all was not quite right in paradise. He would call me at all hours of the day and night, wondering where I was and who I was with. If I wasn't at my house when he popped by for a random visit, he would call me, furious, and tell me to get home. Eventually, I lost my friends and my life to this man who I had originally deemed my Prince Charming.

Possessive partners are nothing new, and they are often quite hard to spot until the relationship has already developed. My "Prince Charming" seemed perfect at first because he WAS charming! He seemed to get everything he wanted, but what he really wanted was a woman to dominate and control to feed his own self-esteem issues.

If you find yourself trapped in a relationship with a possessive partner, you have to get out. The following signs are red flags that something isn't right with the relationship, and you are merely an object… NOT an equal.

Excessive phone calls to find out where you are or repeated inquiries regarding your whereabouts means your partner doesn't trust you, and wants to keep tabs on you at all times. Get. Out. If your partner constantly puts you down, makes you feel inferior, or begins to show signs of controlling your life, you are being dominated by a possessive partner and it's NOT going to get better.

I learned the hard way that you can't change these people. Their self esteem and confidence are so low that the only way they can make themselves feel better is to control, dominate, and put you down. Eventually, a co-worker of mine who knew what I was going through made me realize I wasn't in a relationship – I was being controlled! She pointed out all of the signs to me, and I knew then and there that I had to break away from this man.

It was hard, because a possessive partner will try to make you feel that you need him – that you're nothing without him. That's exactly what my former Prince did, but I was able to stand my ground and walk away. Now that I've had that experience, I know how to spot the warning signs BEFORE I get seriously involved with someone. While the experience made me more cautious about dating, I was able to work past the fear and anxiety and finally re-emerged back into the dating scene.

If you find yourself involved with a possessive partner, the best thing you can do for yourself and your sanity is to break it off. It might take an outsider to steer you in the right direction, but if you spot these warning signs, don't think you'll be able to change them.

I found out the hard way that you can't.

An obsessively jealous partner may try to control the actions of the other person. This may include trying to limit who they see, talk to, where they go, and who they spend time with. They may begin monitoring phone calls, checking emails, or even stalk the other person. Since jealousy is rooted in resentment, if the person who is becoming obsessed begins to perceive that there is cause for jealousy, their obsession may become explosive. One of the dangers of jealousy is that the more the mind begins to ponder scenarios, the easier it is to be fooled into believing that the partner is engaging in suspicious behavior. This creates a cycle that may quickly escalate into uncontrollable behavior.

Obsessive jealousy can be a dangerous mix of emotions and may be detrimental to a relationship. Unfortunately, there is no way of predicting whether a potential partner will experience obsessive jealousy or not. However, you should always be aware of the early signs and deal with this type of behavior as soon as you recognize it.

Extreme and obsessive jealousy is usually attributed to low self-esteem or personal problems. Many times, someone becomes jealous because they feel that they are inadequate. The only time that jealousy may be defined as “justified” is if the partner has broken the trust, usually by cheating. However, it is often obsessive jealousy that may cause the injured partner to realize that they can no longer continue in the relationship. Often when trust is betrayed, the other partner may agree to forgive and try to work things out, only to discover that they are plagued with jealousy. Sometimes, the jealousy becomes so great that the relationship becomes toxic and must end.

If you or your partner are experiencing obsessive jealousy, you should stop and take a long hard look at yourself. First, you should determine where the jealousy is coming from and truly ask yourself if the jealousy is unfounded. It may be possible that you are projecting past failures from previous relationships on your partner and accusing them or feeling jealous without reasonable cause. Trying to think rationally when feeling overwhelmed with jealousy may be very difficult, however, if you or your partner plan on saving your relationship, you will need to address the underlying insecurities that are contributing to the jealousy and resolve them.

The basic underlying emotion behind jealousy is fear. Usually, one partner becomes excessively jealous when they begin to fear that their partner is cheating on them or becoming unfaithful. This fear can lead to obsessive behaviors and can destroy all sense of trust and communication in your relationship. Amazingly, the root of the fear usually doesn’t rest with the partner, but is based in a fear that the jealous individual experiences over a sense that they will be left alone. Since this is the basic cause of jealousy, it is important that all people deal with their own personal issues and self-esteem levels before entering into a relationship. When you’re self-confident, and can rest assured that you are a valuable person that contributes a great deal to your relationship, you can trust that your partner will be faithful to you.

However, there are certain situations where jealousy may begin to destroy a relationship based on past faults. This may occur if a partner has been unfaithful and both partners are trying to salvage the relationship. Often, things will seem as if they are moving along fine, but it won’t take much before fear and jealousy sets in and the wounded partner begins to become suspicious of their partner. If this describes the situation that you are in, you may find that the best course of action is to attend counseling as a couple. With the help of a counselor, you may find that there are specific strategies that you and your partner can take that will ensure that your relationship begins the healing process that it needs.

If your relationship has suffered infidelity, you must realize that you and your partner cannot simply pick up where you left off before the affair. There must be an active level of communication and healing must take place. Trying to pretend as if nothing happened will only complicate the relationship in the long run.

When jealousy begins to get out of hand, it is an open doorway for abuse to occur. Whether it is spying on someone’s activities, falsely accusing or blaming your partner, or more serious incidents such as verbal or physical abuse, jealousy can cause detrimental problems to a relationship. It is important that people take responsibility for their own emotions, and jealousy is no exception. If you are suffering from jealousy, you may need to distance yourself from the relationship until you can get a handle on your feelings.