PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

You think you know how your boyfriend or girlfriend really feels about you. And you're absolutely sure that you know how you feel about them. So…why is saying those three little words so nerve-wrackingly hard? If you love somebody, saying "I love you" should be natural and painless, right?
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Sometimes relationships end with a bang. Somebody cheats or makes a grave mistake, and a knock-down, drag-out fight ends the relationship for you. But other times, relationships go out with barely a whisper – and you can hardly tell it's happening at all. These sorts of relationships can sometimes be the hardest and most painful to end. Because when we're in what we think of as a "comfortable" relationship, it can be difficult to acknowledge that, comfortable or not, the relationship isn't working…and that it's time to move on.
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Dating can be pretty darned funny – in fact, there are whole sitcoms dedicated to all the stupid choices we make in romance. One person's romantic regrets become another's hilarious half hour. But even while we're laughing, most of us recognize (and fear) the bad decisions that we see others make in fiction and in life. Because all of us have made some terrible decisions of our own – decisions that we will always regret.
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Do you know even one professional person who feels completely fulfilled by his or her career, and doesn't feel the need for anything more? Probably not. Because no matter how busy, how successful, or how ambitious you might be, it doesn't mean that you don't care about finding love. Most of the time, anyway.
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Sometimes break-ups last forever. You go your separate ways, you move on to new people, and you try to get past the pain of breaking things off. But some relationships just won't stay dead. A week, a month, a year, or a decade later, a spark reignites…and you find yourself trying to pick up where you left off.
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Roller coasters are a lot of fun. You rise to the highest peaks, your heart in your throat…only to plummet so quickly that your heart plops right down into your stomach. Loop de loops and flip flops and crazy upside-down moments…well, there's nothing like it.
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My last blog post was all about dumping a guy gently. Taking care of his ever-fragile ego and letting him down as easily as possible. Today is part two – dumping a girl while inflicting the smallest amount of pain possible. Being a girl myself, I’ve always thought that we ladies are more complicated than guys in this respect (and most others, come to think of it – but that’s an entirely different article). So the methods that work well with guys don’t work at all for girls…in fact, we generally want exactly the opposite.
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Unless if you’ve got a cruel sense of humor, dumping somebody you’re dating isn’t a lot of fun. But even though you’re aching with guilt about wanting to break things off, you have to remember this: it’s your right to end a relationship. In fact, it’s your responsibility. If you’re not happy in a relationship (or don’t see yourself even having a relationship with this guy) you owe it to yourself to break it off and not look back. Sounds harsh, I know, but…that’s all there is to it.
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All of us are passive aggressive sometimes — even if we don’t want to admit it. There are just times in life when, though there’s something you don’t agree with (or something you don’t want to do), it’s just not worth it to come right out and say so. Sometimes you just want to take the easy road and avoid confrontation. Does your mother need to know how much you hate her corn casserole? Nah. You just push it around on your plate and pretend to eat it to keep the peace.
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So you’ve gone on the required number of dates, explored each other physically, and established a real mental and emotional connection. The next step? You guessed it…it’s time to go exclusive. How exciting!
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