PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

Have you ever asked the question or even been asked the question, should I buy the person I just started dating a gift for the holidays and if yes, what to buy? Or what if you’ve been dating for close to a year and the holidays are coming around. Are you also confused and not sure what the holiday gift etiquette should be?

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It's funny (or maybe not) but I've been hearing the word selfish a lot. Some of my friends have been complaining (some in serious relationships and some married) about it and I don't think it's mainly an issue with the men, but also with the women being selfish (although I would like to think it is always the men.)

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When do you finally realize it's time to let go of a former flame?

…After you were thrown in a holding tank for a night because you were stalking him and his new girlfriend – oh, and you keyed his brand new Mustang convertible. Um… you may have broken the window to his apartment, too.

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At one point during your romantic history, you've undoubtedly encountered a partner that, when you try to end the relationship, refuses to accept it. As frustrating as that can be, it's important to consider your former partners behavior and why they aren't able to let go.

But how are you reacting to their behavior?

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Getting over someone after we dated for awhile used to be such an ordeal for me. I'd stay hold up in my small studio apartment playing these sad ass love songs, listening to their voice on my answering machine over and over, then either looking at a picture or some cheap trinket that they brought me. I was pathetic. Thank goodness I moved on from that.

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The word unconditional is defined as; not conditional or limited, absolute, unqualified and unconditional surrender and I believe when we're falling in love we are doing so; absolutely, unqualified and definitely unconditionally – surrendering ourselves.

But is there a limit when it comes to unconditional love, and when we do add those limitations, can we really use the word unconditional?

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Not every great relationship starts with a neighbor in the apartment next door. Sometimes they don't even have to live in the same city. Example: Say for instance you're on vacation in a tropical paradise. One evening while visiting the nightclubs, you meet someone. Immediately there is an attraction, but hours later as the sun rises, you realize that this person has a lot more going on than looks. They're smart, funny, successful and most of all single; basically the many assets you've been looking for in a mate.

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Everyone wants to know how to attract the man or woman of his or her dreams. However, when it comes to attracting the perfect mate, you may be surprised to discover that you should begin by focusing on yourself. First, if you don’t have a clear understanding of who you are, what you like, or where you are headed in life, it will be impossible to attract other people. Before you can attract someone who is your complement, you must first develop your own individual characteristics and attain your own dreams, goals, and visions.

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One of the emotions that most couples experience at some point in their relationship is jealousy. Jealousy may best be described as an emotion that arises when one person feels that someone else is giving the attention they deserve to another person. In addition to attention, a partner may feel jealous if his or her partner gives time, love, or affection to someone else. Jealousy can become a problem in a relationship, as the partner who is feeling jealous begins to dominate and control their partner’s behavior. Additionally, jealousy is caused when one person perceives a threat to the stability of their relationship, and they may begin to act in inappropriate ways to try to remove the threat. This is when the actions of a jealous partner may begin to cross the lines and become obsessive.

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When two people enter a relationship, there is one thing that they will bring with them – baggage. Though at first, the feelings of love may be strong and overwhelming, it doesn’t take very long before those feelings wear off and you begin to see each other for whom you really are. When this happens, dialogue and communication begins to change. At first, the two of you may never utter an unflattering word or remark to each other, however after time, you’ll find that you’ll know exactly how to push each other’s buttons. This is a simple fact of relationships. The better you know each other, the deeper your communication will be, and the easier it will be to trigger sensitive areas that each partner has.

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