PlanJam!From your screen to the scene

Some of us have problems throwing things away. Like my mother and her habit of saving things for possible future re-use, like old plastic water bottles or quirky purses that might possibly come back into fashion some day.
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At one point during your romantic history, you've undoubtedly encountered a partner that, when you try to end the relationship, refuses to accept it. As frustrating as that can be, it's important to consider your former partners behavior and why they aren't able to let go.

But how are you reacting to their behavior?

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There's no denying the simple truth that women talk more than men. Women are constantly begging men to open up or share their feelings, while men typically want to be left alone and wish the woman would stop talking so frequently. However, when it comes to open communication between couples, there is one subject that may have serious implications to the stability of your relationship-frequent talk about "the ex".

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It's one of the most common remarks heard after a breakup, "I think it would be best if we were friends." However, when it comes to remaining friends after a breakup, many wonder if it is really possible. The simple truth is that many times, breakups involve emotional hurts. There could be infidelity, anger, sadness, or unresolved issues at work, and all of these can put a serious strain on a future friendship. Also for a friendship to work, both parties must agree that they want to continue in this direction. Sometimes one party may be sincere in wanting to remain friends, while the other person may not be ready for a friendship. If the break up is causing a great deal of emotional stress or pain, they may feel that the best course of action is to stay a safe distance away from the other person.

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What would you say if I told you that nearly 50% of all couples that break up, consider dating their ex again? Maybe you’ve been in this situation, or are contemplating it right now. It’s easy to see why dating your ex is an alluring concept. It’s familiar, you have history together, and there was a time where the both of you were in love. In fact, maybe you’re thinking that your whole break up was a mistake - an immature flight of reason and passion that couldn’t be resolved. You think, "Maybe, its worth another try. Maybe, this time it will work."

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There are basically two different scenarios that involve talking with your ex. One is when you and your ex have children together and need to co-parent. The other is when you and your ex continue to speak because of unresolved issues or if both of you are seeking a possible reconciliation. However, one thing is certain - talking to your ex can be an emotionally overwhelming experience.

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You and your significant other recently ended the relationship. You’re hurt, sad, angry, and just don’t know how you will ever get over the break up. There are very few things in life that can be as painful as a broken heart. So what should you do when faced with such a difficult time in your life?

The first thing any break up will do is cause emotional and mental distress. Therefore, the best thing to do is to talk to somebody about what you’re going through and how you’re feeling. Venting out will help to release all the built-up stress, anger, sadness, and worries. If you find yourself uncomfortable speaking to somebody, write it down on a sheet of paper, in a personal diary or journal. The worst thing you can do is to internalize all of the negative feelings. It is so important to just let it all out.

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When one relationship ends and another begins, someone is usually left with feelings of anger, regret, or pain. Depending upon the nature of the relationship, sometimes issues may continue to arise when one person deals with their ex. Whether it is a divorce or a parting of ways among a couple that was dating, knowing how to handle and deal with your ex can have an impact on your future relationships. Some people are fortunate in the sense that when their relationship ends they are able to move forward without ever having to interact with their ex again. However, if there are children in the relationship, or if you share common friends, you might find that dealing with your ex is something that you will have to learn to live with.

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